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SlumberKitty
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 04:50 PM
  #841
Dear T. Before I started seeing you, I thought I would be comparing you all the time with Former T but I have found that isn't really the case. Maybe it's because NO ONE can compare to former T, but I think it's just that you are different people. It's not like I compare my new kitty to my old kitty--they are totally separate, have different personalities etc. I was worried that I would constantly be comparing but I'm glad I'm not. Kit
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SlumberKitty
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 04:54 PM
  #842
Dear T. Also I like that you wear silk flowers in your hair. It seems eccentric when I write it out, but it totally works on you. I wonder why they are black. All sorts of questions come up in me about the flowers in your hair. Kit
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 05:25 PM
  #843
Dear T
I wish I knew If you were really sick. I wish I didnt care.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 06:01 PM
  #844
Dear T,
Thanks, that helped. I know you were concerned near the end that we spent too much time intellectualizing, but like I said that's what I needed. I could have sat there and cried for an hour, but like I said, I could have done that at home alone on my couch (and already had). Maybe I can let the emotion out Thursday. Pretty sure I'm not canceling that one...Unless things change a lot between now and 12:30 tomorrow, my cancellation deadline.

Love,
LT
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 06:08 PM
  #845
I've been looking at all the pics I have of you, it makes me sad but also comforted. I wonder if you ever kept any of me or my dogs? I'm so glad I had the courage to ask for the one of you and my former dog.... it's a cherished memory for life.

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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 06:13 PM
  #846
I love you.
I like having an assignment from you that you want updates about.
It makes me feel taken care of.
Even if the assignment is terrifying and painful and I partly don't want to do it.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 06:15 PM
  #847
I feel alone and bad. I hope you are with me. Maybe you're not. Maybe you think I'm terrible.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 06:36 PM
  #848
I have somehow figured out how to not run away with my thoughts by accepting that my emotions are painful and there, but aren't anything I need to fix. After I accepted how I felt, I started to feel grounded. Whereas before, I felt massive anxiety. I did this once, just now, I guess I need to start somewhere.

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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 08:20 PM
  #849
T, I don't know that you really heard me when I said I needed a hug. Please don't touch me. I want emotional hugs. I don't know if you're capable of that.

You know Pollyanna, for God's sake. I don't need you to be him, but shouldn't your understanding of how he works and the fact that we did okay inform your decisions?

Did he talk to you?

I miss him and his everlasting positivity and his emotional hugs. I miss him and I hate him.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 08:21 PM
  #850
It's unbearable. All of it.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 08:46 PM
  #851
It is rare that I think of your other clients. But, tonight, doing this assignment, I'm thinking about it a lot. Thinking about all the other clients with worse, more "worthy" traumas you've done this exercise with. And I hate it. And I'm scared.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 09:26 PM
  #852
T: today was good, lighter. the dream work is interesting. not sure how i feel about it all yet. the thing you said at the end about the hugs was funny. of course you're type of that person
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Thumbs down Jan 08, 2019 at 09:36 PM
  #853
My friend tells me that therapists lie and do evil things behind your back. Are you like that? I guess you'd never tell me if you were so why bother asking right? Seems like a ridiculous way to "treat" anyone let alone a client who is looking for someone trustworthy.
 
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 10:00 PM
  #854
You were supposed to email me today after you read the thing that I wrote. Maybe you didn't take what I said about you very well and aren't sure what to say to me? But actually I bet you just forgot.

I'm not sure whether it feels worse to have a negative impact or no impact.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 10:08 PM
  #855
T,

I don't know if I should tell you about after Monday's session. I know I've told you before that I've cried after session or that I've SH, but I lie and said it's in the car. I worry that you'll think I'm being manipulative if I told you about the restroom. I feel ashamed of doing that but maybe if I told you it would help me with being able to open up more about what's going on.
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Default Jan 08, 2019 at 11:55 PM
  #856
I really need for you to get this insurance stuff figured out. And then offer me an appointment for later this week.
I don't know if you ever make exceptions or make extra appointment slots when a patient needs it, but if you do then I need you to do that.
I'm bad at asking for help. But this is not good for me. Waiting another 9 days will be harmful.
Two weeks over the holidays was rough. But this feels a lot more like abandonment. You tell me that it's okay to want to be cared about, but this is reinforcing the deeply held belief that wanting to be cared about just ends up with me getting hurt. That I shouldn't let myself be vulnerable.
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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 12:07 AM
  #857
We don't want to do this anymore.
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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 03:09 AM
  #858
I hate simultaneously feeling hurt by you and wanting comfort from you
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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 06:10 AM
  #859
Well I'm sat outside your stupid house waiting to go in and see your stupid face.
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Default Jan 09, 2019 at 06:57 AM
  #860
I never thought a therapist would ever hurt me but you have gone there and beyond. Then you try to write me off (pun intended). No closure. No apology. Hey, I can write too....ever think of that??
 
 
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