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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 379
6 62 hugs
given |
#881
Another day, another night of hardly any sleep despite taking what I can to help with that, I've been up and already panicking and crying ever since.
How is quitting like that really meant to be for the best! I wish I could hate you for making me feel worse than I've ever felt, but no I just want to see you and I want u to fix me, how is this helping?! |
DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#882
I knew you’d say no but it was worth a try. Tuesday it is I guess.
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DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#883
Can I please go back to two sessions a week?
Possible trigger:
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anonymous45127
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,019
6 5,296 hugs
given |
#884
Now I'm back to hating myself. It's as if a part of me can't stand me feeling okay, or good, or competent, or safe. Why can't I just be normal? I feel like I end up torturing myself and/or others. I don't think I qualify as a human. Am I okay, are you okay, are we okay?
__________________ |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 379
6 62 hugs
given |
#885
I miss u so much after just 2 days it's ridiculous, none of my coping strategies are working, and I can't figure a way past this. I did what u wanted, I saw this other T, she was nice and kind and there for me, I think she's a good T... but u are my T!
I'm not sure how any of this is best for me, I'm not sure it was for my best that you changed the ending, I think it was mainly for you and that you couldn't deal with me. |
DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#886
You really didn't need to add that to my "I passed email" and I didn't refrain from sending a reply back just to irritate you. Technically it was a rule break as I last emailed on Friday the 4th so a new week would start tomorrow, thanks for the reminder.
I feel like I should split the transference and see a back up T, then maybe I won't be so hung up on every little thing that you do. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given |
#887
4 weeks ago today. I still picture you looking back as you walked away and I'm still angry I didn't run to you or scream something out.
4 weeks of daily thoughts of you and desires to see and talk to you and 4 weeks of you not caring anymore and moving on. How did this all happen? How did I become nothing to you so easily? I'd give anything, literally, to hug you again. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, RaineD, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#888
I hate that I do all my gut-spilling by email, and then we never talk about it in session. It seems pointless, but at the same time I want you to know this stuff.
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LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 379
6 62 hugs
given |
#889
Quote:
I think you did the right thing by leaving without running back though, I think it showed such strength. I tried to do the same, I had planned to leave with head held high having thanked her etc, of course me being me, it didn't happen, I lost the plot, lost any sense of self composure and basically was properly 1 minute away from being escorted out the building. As you know I follow your posts etc and I'm just really sorry that you have been failed by the system but remember you have such inner strength. 4weekd from now I can only pray firstly I make it to that but secondly i handle is with your strength. I wanna hug mine too, at least I got that, I've never been able to hug before, I have huge touch issues. So the times we did hug were more healing than anything I've experienced before. It hurts so much to know that's never gonna happen again! I hope oneday we look back on it and think wow we did that and blessed that with had those amazing moments with our Ts but right now it's just too painful right |
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SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty
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Anonymous45127
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
given |
#890
Please answer me, T. Please....
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LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
6 372 hugs
given |
#891
I’m a little confused and pleasantly surprised at how things went yesterday. You are nice. Phew.
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Comfy Sedation
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
11 8,149 hugs
given |
#892
ugh I feel weird -___-
__________________ |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,160
6 1,834 hugs
given |
#893
I miss you. I told you I would this week.
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#894
I emailed another T, but didn't mention that I was borderline.
Maybe I am too much for you. You told me that sometimes therapy with me brought you to the depths of despair and felt like you were ripping your hair out and that I pushed you to your limits. I am your biggest headache after all. Tomorrow I have to start studying pharmacology. Exam on the 29th after all. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
ElectricManatee, LabRat27, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Anonymous45127
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,796
12 3,129 hugs
given |
#895
Did you understand me today? I'm not sure I understood myself.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#896
Maybe I should just call it. You’d probably like that.
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LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,700
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#897
I get it. It just hurt at the time.
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,762
(SuperPoster!)
9 75k hugs
given |
#898
Dear T,
Well, now I'm going to associate you with Bette Midler. Not sure how I feel about that... Love, LT |
LabRat27, SlumberKitty
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Anonymous45127
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#899
Dear T. I wish I could talk to you. The 18th seems so far away. Darn. I think I'm getting attached to you. To self: disengage, disengage, disengage. Alert. Alert. Warning. Warning. Warning. Sirens everywhere. Kit
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, Lrad123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
5 117.7k hugs
given |
#900
Dear T. I'm worried that when I tell you that I think God talked to me, you're just going to tell me its a hallucination. Kit
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight
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Closed Thread |
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