Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII - Page 4 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 12-10-2018, 05:47 PM #31
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Are you relieved/grateful that I don't look at you?

I feel dirty and guilty and bad for wanting to look at you
Like it's invasive and dirty to want that emotional intimacy. I'm bad and you shouldn't have to look at me or have me look at you.
That you shouldn't have to see me
That I'm taking something I shouldn't have
You shouldn't have to be part of something so shameful
You should be disgusted by the idea
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Old 12-10-2018, 06:19 PM #32
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Possible trigger:
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:43 PM #33
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Not sure what possessed me to do it but I was in the general area of your office at our appointment time. So I went out of my way to drive over. I dont know what I was expecting but it it was so sad. There building was completely dark and no cars to be found. That never happened when we were meeting there. It was so sad. I wanted to park in my typical spot but I couldn't. It felt so creepy and painful. I wanted to cry but I just couldn't allow it. I know that use to drive you crazy. But I have cries so much since losing you. I will allow the feelings but not the tears. The emotions are a huge step for me, right.
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Old 12-10-2018, 08:51 PM #34
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I survived your exams. They werenít as bad as I thought and I canít wait to see you on Thursday.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:31 PM #35
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I keep losing things at work, my meds., etc. My mind is next, I think. This is really stressful and I hate being me. I am so tired, I just want to sleep until summer. I don't know if you are going to make it through this with me, because I don't know if I am going to make it. I feel like I need to hibernate.
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Old 12-10-2018, 11:01 PM #36
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I think this is what I need to say to you next Thursday:

I think you overreacted last session, and I think you seriously overstepped. I don't think we can continue to work together if we can't agree on that. This is really hard for me because I grew up with people who never admitted their mistakes and doubled down when confronted with them. I didn't come here today to walk back into the same conversation I walked out of last session. I came to see if we could move forward, and I have suggestions for things I'd like to work on that I think will help me.
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Old 12-11-2018, 02:42 AM #37
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I should have told you that you didn't need to apologize
That was the most helpful thing you said today
I really believed you when you said it because you didn't mean to react that strongly
It didn't feel like you were just saying what you're supposed to say
Do you know how much of a relief it was to know that you really do believe it was bull***?
You believe me.
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Old 12-11-2018, 03:15 AM #38
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

**** you bringing up shame on my last session for the year and i wont see you for 6 weeks. **** **** ****
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Old 12-11-2018, 10:38 AM #39
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Miss you. I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
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Old 12-11-2018, 10:40 AM #40
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I hope that I like your recommendation. I'm ready to move on, even though I wish that I didn't have to.
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