Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII - Page 51 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 12-28-2018, 05:43 PM #501
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA View Post
Silence hurts worse than anything

I told you that my moms denial mom's silence was 100% more traumatic for me than the CSa. The fact that she could have stopped it

I feel u are my mom right now...u could help but u wont .for whatever reasons...I'm sure u think it's the right thing to do...most people feel that way about such things

I want to kms out of sheer SPITE. I want u to feel guilty and regretful. I want u to be the one to blamr.i want to leave this earth and make everyone else deal with it......like I've been the one to deal with everything by myself


So ****.you.

Is your T not talking to you because you used again? FWIW, I know this is an approach that's popular with chemical dependency people--the idea that you have to threaten a person's social connections to get them to stop using.

I think this approach is outdated and contrary to addiction research. I'm sorry your T isn't talking to you.
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Old 12-28-2018, 06:57 PM #502
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I still can't believe all of these memories and parts were out of my awareness for so long. When does it ever stop. It felt good that you were sweet and reassuring towards the end; that was a surprise.

After hearing about your holiday, my afterthoughts keep gravitating to my jealousy for your wife. What you told me about her reminds me of how I am when I was happier. I hardly ever am embarrassed to tell you anything, but for some reason, am embarrassed about this. I will still tell you next time we meet. I still want to be your wife.

ps you're still so cute
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:15 PM #503
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Ugh. I stupidly watched a show that has a tendency to trigger my PTSD. I don't know why I did it other than it is an episode I saw before and thought it was safe. I was wrong. Then your voice came into my head asking why I watched it. I have no idea why. Then as soon as it ended the commercial came in where the lady fell down the stairs bead first and is screaming for help. I hate that commercial because it makes me have horrible images of your fall. Emdr T will not understand so no point mentioning it
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:19 PM #504
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I have something really difficult to tell you tomorrow. I purposely didn't email it to you, because I've decided that working through the emotions surrounding it is a critical part of the therapy. I can't wait to see you.
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:20 PM #505
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

Quote:
Originally Posted by RaineD View Post
Is your T not talking to you because you used again? FWIW, I know this is an approach that's popular with chemical dependency people--the idea that you have to threaten a person's social connections to get them to stop using.

I think this approach is outdated and contrary to addiction research. I'm sorry your T isn't talking to you.
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:21 PM #506
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I miiiiiisss yooooou
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:33 PM #507
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I'm at the point where the right thing feels like the wrong thing and the wrong thing feels like the right thing.
This is why seeing you twice a week has made such a difference. It helps me steer back in the right direction before I get too far off track.
6 more days.
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:34 PM #508
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

...and please don't use the phrase "unrequited love" when I discuss with you. I hate it when you say that!!
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Old 12-28-2018, 08:18 PM #509
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

I know this is healing , but it sure doesn't feel like it right now ....
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Old 12-28-2018, 09:30 PM #510
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Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVII

L, I finished your poem tonite. Wish I'd have been able to write it sooner.
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