advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 04:24 PM
  #1
1 week from today is my last session with my t. I'm devastated to say the least.

I cry constantly but I'm also finding myself very sick. Throwing up and very frequent bathroom trips. My stomach constantly hurts and I am back to not sleeping well.

I want to go to my last 3 sessions, I need as much time as I can to process and say goodbye but the closer it gets, the sicker I get. How can I manage this? I'm legit worried I'll throw up in session or have an accident, as funny as it may sound.

I can't even fathom how I am supposed to do everything for the last time and walk away like nothing next Thurs.....

For those who have been through this hell, how do you cope? I feel like I'm losing my mind. Help!

**I am looking for advice on dealing with the final 3 sessions without all the sickness and anxiety and pain**

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.

Last edited by DP_2017; Dec 06, 2018 at 05:38 PM..
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43207, chihirochild, growlycat, here today, Llama_Llama44, LonesomeTonight, Merope, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, Taylor27

advertisement
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 04:32 PM
  #2
I had my last session with my former T back in Sept. It broke my heart. I cried all the way through the session. First time and last time I have cried in session. It was only a phone session though but I probably would have cried in person. It's been three months, and it is a little bit better. I still miss her every day, but I can tell there is some progress where it isn't as bad most days. I have a new T that I've been seeing once a month that is helping. But losing my T is why I joined PC. So I write on here a lot and just try to get through each day one day at a time. It is just really ridiculously difficult. I'm sorry. I wish it was easier. Kit
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
growlycat, here today
 
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
Salmon77
Poohbah
Salmon77 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,394
10 yr Member
106 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 04:57 PM
  #3
I haven't been through this exactly but I did lose a loved one in the past year. I spent a few days just lying in bed, going through old messages and pictures and thinking about the good times. A lot of crying. I think with grieving, you just have to accept that you're going to feel terrible for a while. If you need to cry, you cry. If you need to puke, you puke. It gets better eventually but it takes time.
Salmon77 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
growlycat
 
Thanks for this!
here today
Taylor27
healing from trauma
 
Taylor27's Avatar
Taylor27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
24.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 05:33 PM
  #4
Hugs it's very hard my first t dump me out of no where 9 years ago it took a very long time. It like losing a loved on thats how i can explain the pain i went through. Good self care helps. Hugs
Taylor27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 05:37 PM
  #5
Sorry, I should have been more clear... I'm not so worried about the AFTER stuff, I dealt with the death of my dog last year so I assume it will be similar, only with no real life support....

I am more concerned how to cope with the last few sessions, how can I ease the sickness and how do you manage the final everything?

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 05:40 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
Sorry, I should have been more clear... I'm not so worried about the AFTER stuff, I dealt with the death of my dog last year so I assume it will be similar, only with no real life support....

I am more concerned how to cope with the last few sessions, how can I ease the sickness and how do you manage the final everything?
I wasn't able to ease the crying. I cried before and during and after for days. The final stuff just managed itself. The final session we just wrapped up all the good stuff that had been accomplished and I got to tell how how much she meant to me and how much she helped me and she got to hold my pain for a while. Kit
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
nottrustin
Grand Magnate
 
nottrustin's Avatar
nottrustin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 yr Member
375 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 06:00 PM
  #7
I never had those last appointments so I will probably be no help for you. I know medications should never be the only answer but do you have any prescriptions for anxiety meds? If he is like either of my Ts, I am strongly discouraged from taking them before an appointment and if I choose to they ask that I tell them. I think you should tLe something so you can get through.

I would keep the next three appointments on the lighter side. maybe discuss what you have accomplished together, your goals for your therapeutic future, what he recommends you work on in the future (if you care about his input). I would tell kim immediately how your feeling and be open about the vomiting and anything else. This will allow him to help you.

__________________


Last edited by nottrustin; Dec 06, 2018 at 07:02 PM..
nottrustin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 06:29 PM
  #8
Right I don't HAVE to go, but I will 100% regret it if I don't. Same with my dog, when he passed, I could have skipped his last moments, but I'm glad I was there with him, even though I knew for days what day he would be leaving and even the time.... it was awful but I had to do it.

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
SalingerEsme
 
Thanks for this!
SalingerEsme
toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
toomanycats is taking it one day at a time
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
5 yr Member
542 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 06:31 PM
  #9
Honestly, you just...cry. And try to eat. And try to do basic life functions. And then cry more. You cry and cry and cry and cry.

The waves feel like they will drown you. As someone once said to me: You feel like you are dying. Fortunately, you will not die. Unfortunately, you will not die.

The waves are very close together in the beginning - on top of one another really - very time for breathing or air.

They spread out a little over time... then crash again... then spread again... then crash again... eventually, they get smaller.

You just have to endure it. There is no way to make it easier. There is no way to lessen the pain. You just have to sit and cry and feel like you are dying and continue to not die.
toomanycats is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43207, growlycat, LonesomeTonight
 
Thanks for this!
circlesincircles, DP_2017, growlycat, LonesomeTonight, onceuponacat, SlumberKitty, Taylor27
SlumberKitty
Legendary Wise Elder
 
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is staying stable.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
117.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 06:35 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by toomanycats View Post
Honestly, you just...cry. And try to eat. And try to do basic life functions. And then cry more. You cry and cry and cry and cry.

The waves feel like they will drown you. As someone once said to me: You feel like you are dying. Fortunately, you will not die. Unfortunately, you will not die.

The waves are very close together in the beginning - on top of one another really - very time for breathing or air.

They spread out a little over time... then crash again... then spread again... then crash again... eventually, they get smaller.

You just have to endure it. There is no way to make it easier. There is no way to lessen the pain. You just have to sit and cry and feel like you are dying and continue to not die.
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
growlycat
Therapy Ninja
 
growlycat's Avatar
growlycat has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: How did I get here?
Posts: 10,308
15 yr Member
16.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 09:17 PM
  #11
I wish I knew what would make it easier. In a practical sense Imodium is my best friend when anxiety goes after that end. Maybe eat bland food like buttered toast the morning of.

Tell t your physical symptoms. He needs to know how bad you are really feeling and I always thought he doesn’t have a full sense of that. Maybe he would have more ideas on support resources after therapy.

If in these final sessions you physically don’t feel well will he walk you though a relaxation exercise? Will he record one for you?
growlycat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, LonesomeTonight
Anonymous43207
Guest
Anonymous43207 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 06, 2018 at 09:35 PM
  #12
I wish I knew what to say that would help. I think growly has some good suggestions. Sending you hugs and good thoughts.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, growlycat
Anonymous56789
Guest
Anonymous56789 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 07:40 AM
  #13
You might want to consider seeing another T on a short term basis to help with support around the loss.

I hope it gets easier for you.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, growlycat
Merope
Veteran Member
Merope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Somewhere in a cloud
Posts: 719
5 yr Member
479 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 08:36 AM
  #14
I think just be kind to yourself and don’t block your emotions. If you feel like crying, let yourself cry. If you feel sick, pause and take a moment to just breathe. Your body is going through a lot is states right now, so it’s ok to let it do its thing. I think the more you allow this, the easier you’ll find it to go through it.

Take care of yourself, DP. We’re all here for you. X

Edited to add this: I know this is a very different situation, but I remember having this sort of physical reaction a few years ago when my ex broke up with me out of the blue. I came across this article on the internet which I found extremely comforting. I think it has points that apply to loss in general, so maybe it’s worth a read if you fancy.

Small Life, Slow Life: When the Unthinkable Happens. (Also known as: How to Cope When Your World Just Exploded.) | small life, slow life

Last edited by Merope; Dec 07, 2018 at 08:57 AM..
Merope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017, growlycat, SalingerEsme, unaluna
Anonymous53987
Guest
Anonymous53987 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 03:11 PM
  #15
How have you coped with other endings in your life? No one here can guess what will work best for you, indeed some of the suggestions will probably aggravate you. Have confidence that you know what you need.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
tomatenoir
Member
 
tomatenoir's Avatar
tomatenoir has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 223
5 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:21 PM
  #16
Hi DP,

Have you tried asking your doctor for Omeprazole (or whatever the equivalent is where you are?) for the nausea?

I had a boss five years ago who left me so stressed, that I was throwing up every morning. Omeprazole helped with the nausea, and when I left that job, I decreased dosage and then came off of it. But it did help while I was on it.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
tomatenoir is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
SalingerEsme
Grand Poohbah
 
SalingerEsme's Avatar
SalingerEsme has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
5 yr Member
4,957 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:44 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
Sorry, I should have been more clear... I'm not so worried about the AFTER stuff, I dealt with the death of my dog last year so I assume it will be similar, only with no real life support....

I am more concerned how to cope with the last few sessions, how can I ease the sickness and how do you manage the final everything?
One thing I learned working with the center for grieving children is the I Remember When closure experience. I use it myself in real life a lot, and it works. Each person just takes turns looking back at the life and times shared together, and telling a small story that happened . I remember when. . . not trying to make it profound or a big memory- just the real nitty gritty. It makes a beautiful conversation and makes peace within a terrible situation . The only rule is each person has to start with I remember when

__________________
Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck
SalingerEsme is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
SalingerEsme
Grand Poohbah
 
SalingerEsme's Avatar
SalingerEsme has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
5 yr Member
4,957 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:47 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
Right I don't HAVE to go, but I will 100% regret it if I don't. Same with my dog, when he passed, I could have skipped his last moments, but I'm glad I was there with him, even though I knew for days what day he would be leaving and even the time.... it was awful but I had to do it.
There's so much wisdom in this. Thank you for sharing it. I tend to avoid goodbyes with humans , yet I would never leave one of my dogs in their last moments.

__________________
Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck
SalingerEsme is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
SalingerEsme
Grand Poohbah
 
SalingerEsme's Avatar
SalingerEsme has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
Posts: 1,805
5 yr Member
4,957 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:51 PM
  #19
I have to add one more thing- I am so sorry this is happening, and I don't think it should be allowed. It is as serious as any malpractice .

__________________
Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck
SalingerEsme is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
DP_2017
DP_2017
Grand Magnate
 
DP_2017's Avatar
DP_2017 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
5 yr Member
665 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 07, 2018 at 05:58 PM
  #20
Quote:
Originally Posted by octoberful View Post
You might want to consider seeing another T on a short term basis to help with support around the loss.

I hope it gets easier for you.
I just can't. I can't risk going through this again. I can't pay someone else to hurt me. I can't trust any therapist again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tomatenoir View Post
Hi DP,

Have you tried asking your doctor for Omeprazole (or whatever the equivalent is where you are?) for the nausea?

I had a boss five years ago who left me so stressed, that I was throwing up every morning. Omeprazole helped with the nausea, and when I left that job, I decreased dosage and then came off of it. But it did help while I was on it.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
Nope I have not, but he doesn't prescribe meds anyway

Quote:
Originally Posted by SorryOozit View Post
How have you coped with other endings in your life? No one here can guess what will work best for you, indeed some of the suggestions will probably aggravate you. Have confidence that you know what you need.
I only had my dog... most other "Endings" were natural... people just naturally became distant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalingerEsme View Post
One thing I learned working with the center for grieving children is the I Remember When closure experience. I use it myself in real life a lot, and it works. Each person just takes turns looking back at the life and times shared together, and telling a small story that happened . I remember when. . . not trying to make it profound or a big memory- just the real nitty gritty. It makes a beautiful conversation and makes peace within a terrible situation . The only rule is each person has to start with I remember when
That's a lovely idea. I asked him to write a goodbye letter and I wrote him one, we will read them to each other next week. Sort of similar.

__________________
Grief is the price you pay for love.
DP_2017 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous56789, LonesomeTonight
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:48 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.