Couch 184: Welcome to Zanzibar!

So for Christmas, my mom got a pillow made with a picture of my H's and I wedding. So my face is blown up big for others to sit on. Thanks!

I know that catchphrase...

You have a good memory for faces. Not me. I dont recognize people if i see them out of their usual context. Or i dont know why they look familiar.

Every time I see this thread, I think, "Zanzibar: Freddie Mercury's childhood home!"

Jersey, I'm a fan of crate training, too. Like SD said, it can be a place of refuge and comfort, and should never be a punishment. I rec keeping your pup's favorite snuggle toy in there to encourage him to see it as a place to relax. As far as housetraining, the most helpful thing I found was NO free feeding: only timed feedings, probably twice a day. Most dogs will need to poop within 30 min of eating, so after a meal, if you can immediately take the dog outside on a long line in a confined space, like a yard, and let him explore as he likes. Also time for bonding. Then when he goes, lots of praise and a treat. A few walks to let him pee between feedings should be all he needs. I never found puppy pads very effective if the end goal was to go outside. I think the transition can be confusing for them. Basically, I've found controlling the environment as much as possible works better than controlling the behavior: structure the environment so that the dog has few options to make mistakes. And DP's right--they really are creatures of the NOW--they generally can't connect a correction to a past behavior, so it's just ineffective, and adds anxiety to a shy dog.

Fkm - i had no idea!

Sheila Kuehl was blackballed when she was outed and she did become an attorney....but she is 20 years older than I am so -alas we are not the same person

I’m in the same boat and it’s got me panicked too, even though I’ve been through it for years.

My plan is streaming video, pushing myself to the gym a couple of times a week, some household tasks like deep cleaning and organizing the pantry and closets, and a to do list of errands like “look at 6 different stores for X obscure item.” I make a little calendar and schedule these tasks so every day I have something that will take a few hours. I know from prior years that I won’t accomplish half of this, but if the wheels start to come off, it can help me to go back to the stupid list. And I count down the hours until I can get back to my regular work/therapy schedule.

Ativan isn’t working tonight, so I dug out a set of my Greek grandfather’s worry beads. Even though women aren’t supposed to use them, and I’ve never completely gotten the hang of the fingerwork, they’re helping a bit.

It's been a day. DH and I had marriage therapy. Afterwards we drove to the store to pick up son's birthday cake that I ordered the other day. Got there and the lady tried saying that his cake was picked up yesterday. Argued with her that this wasn't true, and had the order form copy in my hand. She kept arguing that her copy was in the picked up pile, so it wasn't ever made. She offered me a free cake from the bakery but there wasn't one already made that my son would eat. I ended up leaving and went to a different store tonight. I let my won puck whatever one he wanted which wasnt much but it's the only thing I could do.

Then I took him, my other son and a friend to an indoor trampoline/playground place. There were 2-3 older boys there that kept knocking my sons over on purpose and one even hit him so hard with a foam battling thing that he fell backwards into one of the pits and got hurt. I was so furious that I spoke to an employee and told them that mama bear was going to come out. I think they ended up kicking them out.

I felt like a helicopter parent but I wouldn't tolerate my kids acting like that so I felt like I shouldn't let my kids put up with it either.

Sorry for the novel I just wrote.

My grandmother brought a pair of worry beads back for each of her grandchildren back in the 70's. I wonder if I still have mine some place.

I’d not heard of worry beads, so I googled them. (What did the curious do before Google? So many unanswered questions!) Looks like a good challenge to learn how to use them. Why weren’t women allowed? Just supposed to bear the worries?

Dictionaries, encyclopedias and the library. One of my favorite things to do was go and peruse the card catalog. I missed the card catalog. I found more fascinating things simply by flipping through and going and grabbing some obscure book

Oh, I loved the card catalog! It smelled like old paper.

My mom took us to the library weekly, and when we moved too far out of town, we’d go to the bookmobile stop every other week.

My boys’ choir concert was one of many things jammed into the weekend. I so appreciate the repertoire their director chooses. There’s almost always some kind of poetry set to music, something inspiring without being schmaltzy. This time was Sara Teasdale, about the power of music. The melody is lovely. Actually, the whole concert was lovely (and not toooo loooong, bonus!).

From my spirit's gray defeat,
From my pulse's flagging beat,
From my hopes that turn to sand,
Sifting through my close-clenched hand,
From my own fault's slavery,
If I can sing, I still am free.

For with my singing I can make
A refuge for my spirit's sake,
A house of shining words, to be
My fragile immortality

Thanks for the tips. This morning he did very well. Woke up, went outside, eliminated-lots of praise was given. He came in, ate his food and now that 45 minutes has elapsed he will be going out again.

ETA: he’s already on a feeding schedule because I have another dog that’s diabetic, so as soon as he got home he went on. Her feeding schedule. He eats at 6am and then again at 6pm. I can’t leave food down because it’s a risk to her health so he learned immediately to eat all his food when it’s given to him at meal time.

And now I have to call my vet when they open at 8 because my diabetic dog didn’t eat any of her food this morning and I don’t know what that means for her insulin intake today. I wonder if she just realized new pup is just not here for a short visit and she’s being stubborn.? I don’t know. When I call the vet I’ll ask. It’s important she eats her food.

^ Crisis adverted. I just put her food back down and kept him out of the kitchen and she ate it. He also just eliminated outside again. So A+.

Glad your dog ate her food and that new dog seems to be adjusting better!

Oh I so agree about the card catalog. I read all kinds of stuff that way.