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Old 12-15-2018, 02:18 PM   #31
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Default Re: So now that you decided to live what has been so great about it?

The first and only time I truly wanted to die and attempted to end my life, I was a teen. I was "forced" into therapy by my parents and I hated the T instantly, I only went to 3 sessions and took nothing from it.
I became very very depressed and isolated. Constantly talked about wishing I wasn't alive anymore. It angered my mom.

Anyway, what was great about it? Well, I decided to get a dog. At the time, I didn't see how on earth it would change my life, but it did. He was literally the best thing that ever happened to me. I credit him for me being alive today. From the day I got him, my desire to care for him took over, I suddenly felt like I had a purpose.

I had him for 15 and a half amazing years. He was my everything. I made him a huge memorial garden in the yard and a memorial in my bedroom. I talk about him constantly and think of him every day. We had so many adventures and fun times, even when my life in general sucked, and I would have missed all of that if I ended it all.

My life isn't great, It's boring mostly. Most of my friends are online or in other states/countries. I hate my job. I still hate my family. I have my other dog though and he has been a great comfort since the other passed. Somehow I relate better to animals than people. I think sometimes, life REALLY sucks and I still wish I was gone, but then I am like "But there is so many cute dogs out there I haven't met yet" and another odd thing that has kept me alive is my passion for a few TV shows.... I like only a few but I like them a lot, some have ended but some have not, and those who have not, I think, if I took my life, I'd never see what happens here.

I know I'm a good person and maybe some people have been impacted by meeting me. I have no idea... I just know that life isn't GREAT, it never has been, but there are moments that are, animals that are and rarely---people that are, I'd experience none of that had I took my life many years ago
Grief is the price you pay for love.
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