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Old 12-14-2018, 08:36 AM   #11
Cheryl27
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

Lots of people post on here after therapy. It is a great way to get support after therapy and feel you are not alone. Hugs
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:44 AM   #12
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

He wrote me a goodbye letter. While it wasn't as emotional as I hoped, there was alot of good thoughtful things in there. He's so good about being open to future contact too, not saying either of us will care in 2 yrs but it's nice to know there's that option.

I've decided to try my best to make the best of it. Respect his choice, even though I don't understand it, and realize that, it will make him feel less anxious if we meet again.

I think I'm gonna make a scrapbook. Is it weird to put our texts chats there? I wont feel so sad deleting them then. Plus I got alot of pics of him and some papers he gave me with stuff on it. Rather than being angry and throw it out all and regret it someday, I think it's best to do this.

The good thing is... I am making plans in my future. Trips and moving and such. Things to keep me busy and to look forward to so I'm not constantly obsessing over him. Hopefully it helps. I think the holidays will be the hardest but once I'm though with that, it might be easier for me to manage.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:30 AM   #13
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

DP,
Iím sorry you had to leave your T but it sounds like the last meeting went well.

Iíve saved written notes and the rare post card from PrevT who I saw during my difficult time with an exploitative psychiatrist , 1992 ish - 1998(?). I hadnít thought of making a scrapbook, but thatís a good idea. She also made an audio tape describing our time together, my gains and growth & her feelings and caring about me. It was very generous of her and helped a lot. I still listen to it occasionally.

She kinda had a two year rule, too, where it was mostly me mailing her cards, etc. but now we have email contact.

Feelings are just so hard.

You have helped make PC a positive informative place and Iíll miss reading your posts. We will be here if you decide to pop in for a visit.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:43 AM   #14
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DP,

She kinda had a two year rule, too, where it was mostly me mailing her cards, etc. but now we have email contact.

Feelings are just so hard.

You have helped make PC a positive informative place and Iíll miss reading your posts. We will be here if you decide to pop in for a visit.
Was it hard for you do get through the 2 years? I probably could have mailed stuff to him during this time too but he is not gonna be a T anymore so that is an option I don't have Although he told me that in those cases, he wouldn't reply anyway.

Did you guys ever meet up or anything after or just the emails? I'm not sure what I will want in 2 years but like I said, he's so good about it. He really is. I even mentioned when we were laughing during our game that "See? in 2 years or so if we meet again, we can meet up and play this again" and he was like "yes! sure." So that was hopeful and he "liked" my dogs page on Facebook at my request so he can know if he passes away, which weirdly gives me comfort.

I hope he wont forget me... the weird thing is, I was his last client... at that company and potentially forever if he never goes back to therapy which is sounds like he has no interest in doing.

Also, thanks for the kind words. I've had many times where I felt unwanted or welcome here, but I've also met some nice people here, so I still stick around.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:48 AM   #15
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

I am sorry that the end is here but it sounds like he is much more openminded about future contact than he once was, and I very much think it's great that you are making plans for your future. I'm glad you feel like you can be here for support.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:00 PM   #16
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

Sad and abrupt ending but it sounds like the last session went quite well and it's good that he did not leave you with cutting off every option. As for participating on this forum, I have not been in therapy for quite a long time now and I still like to come here for all the interesting discussions and a bit of distraction I like your posts and the often unusual views and perspectives you tend to embody and the way you do not submit to unfair criticism - these are some reasons why I often respond on your threads. I am sure people would be interested in hearing how you are processing the end of your therapy and dealing with life in general. What I personally would not not do is using your mother as support if she has an extensive history of narcissistic type behavior toward you... but it may just be my preference.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:07 PM   #17
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I'm sorry your therapy had to come to an end but I'm glad the ending went well and that there is a chance in the future for connection. I too like Xynesthesia would be interested in hearing how you process the end of your therapy.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:42 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
Was it hard for you do get through the 2 years? I probably could have mailed stuff to him during this time too but he is not gonna be a T anymore so that is an option I don't have Although he told me that in those cases, he wouldn't reply anyway.

Did you guys ever meet up or anything after or just the emails? I'm not sure what I will want in 2 years but like I said, he's so good about it. He really is. I even mentioned when we were laughing during our game that "See? in 2 years or so if we meet again, we can meet up and play this again" and he was like "yes! sure." So that was hopeful and he "liked" my dogs page on Facebook at my request so he can know if he passes away, which weirdly gives me comfort.

I hope he wont forget me... the weird thing is, I was his last client... at that company and potentially forever if he never goes back to therapy which is sounds like he has no interest in doing.

Also, thanks for the kind words. I've had many times where I felt unwanted or welcome here, but I've also met some nice people here, so I still stick around.
Thing is, I donít believe I understood about the two year rule when I stopped seeing her. I had to move several states away and I just felt Iíd never see her again..and that was that. Yes, it was hard for me. She became my T during the time I was in an exploitative relationship with a psychiatrist. It was a turbulent time. I felt like she saved my life, and she probably did.

So, I was very attached and grateful and all that. It helped for me to mail and tell her how my family and I were doing. I donít remember how or when we decided we could email each other but it was much later.

She told me one of her reservations about continuing contact was she didnít want my contacting her to interfere with my finding another therapist in person. But I finally found a new T, so that helped in my case. Iíve told T all about PrevT and T is fine with my connection with PrevT.

T is helping me grieve the loss....and sometimes I use my current therapy to reevaluate things that happened during my time with PrevT. You might be surprised how time and distance can help you look at relationships with a different perspective.

We did meet up again one more time. My family traveled back to that state briefly due to family issues and I was able to see her for an hour, I think, in her office. There was one other time I thought about trying to meet with her again but she discouraged it.

Nowadays, we email and if something huge happens in my life PrevT allows me to phone her. I phone her less and less often now.

These therapeutic relationships can hold a unique intimacy for therapist and client thatís rarely found in other relationships.

I donít think he will forget you.
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Old 12-14-2018, 01:28 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
Sad and abrupt ending but it sounds like the last session went quite well and it's good that he did not leave you with cutting off every option. As for participating on this forum, I have not been in therapy for quite a long time now and I still like to come here for all the interesting discussions and a bit of distraction I like your posts and the often unusual views and perspectives you tend to embody and the way you do not submit to unfair criticism - these are some reasons why I often respond on your threads. I am sure people would be interested in hearing how you are processing the end of your therapy and dealing with life in general. What I personally would not not do is using your mother as support if she has an extensive history of narcissistic type behavior toward you... but it may just be my preference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I'm sorry your therapy had to come to an end but I'm glad the ending went well and that there is a chance in the future for connection. I too like Xynesthesia would be interested in hearing how you process the end of your therapy.
Thanks you guys. Very kind words from you

Quote:
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I donít think he will forget you.
I hope not. He has a crap memory but he has a few things I gave him and he says he will keep them. Plus I was his last client, and if he never returns to the field, the last ever. That has to be memorable.
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Old 12-14-2018, 01:29 PM   #20
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Default Re: Well, it's over now

I am doing ok, but suddenly got really sad. I think knowing his phone is gone now, and I have to delete him from my phone. Knowing he sent his last text to me and it was just meh.

I am sad thinking about his co workers getting to spend the day with him on his last day. It's sunny and warm and I wish so bad we could walk today. So it's getting tough.
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