Couch 185: The Labyrinth

I'm so sorry, Jersey. Remember this isn't all your fault and that there's people at least here to talk to. I hope this works out for you somehow, whatever that means in the end.

I arrived at my parent's home for Christmas. We're celebrating today since they'll be gone on the 25th to go to the US. I managed to already smuggle their liquor to my glass without them noticing. At least if they are annoying I won't notice.

A little bit of a silly story to maybe make some of you smile.

Yesterday my mom dropped her dog off a bit while she finished shopping. I let her open a present, she knows how to do her own.. and she was going nuts. Had so much fun. So then, today my whole family is going to the family holiday party but me (I'm dog sitting) and mom originally told me to come whenever, her dog could be alone a while if need be.

She just called me "You gotta get here before we leave at 10, she keeps going under the tree and scratching the gifts, she needs to be watched now" LOL I feel like I got her addicted, whoops.

Anyway so that's my day, watching that little turkey and making sure she doesn't get into anymore gifts.

Paralyzed by cuteness. Can't speak. Gah.

Hugs Jersey and anyone else who wants.

That's one switched on dog, DP. Very smart.

Thank youuuuu! I agree with chihiro cuteness overload! I love the towel look think I should try it with Belle, but she's not the type to go out when it rains let alone when it's snowed!

I'm so sorry things are so tough right now.

I just put on a pot of veggie soup (I know! Not lentils! Haha!) and boiling water for spaghetti. Already cooked the sausages for h. Now while that's going gotta do a load of laundry. One humongus plus to working at home is I do laundry throughout the week so I don't have to scale Mount Dirtyclothes every weekend haha!

This morning I bought 1/2 lb of brussel sprouts and later I'm going to try a recipe I found that's supposed to duplicate what I had at Macaroni Grill on Thanksgiving.

Texted briefly with son this morning and found out he's coming over on Christmas day yay! I'm working 4 hours that morning but I'm doing them early (5-9am) so I'll still have most of the day free.

Jersey, maybe you and your h have different love languages? For you, it's staying the course no matter what; for him, idk but it's different from yours - probably more like me? - anyway, i hope you guys can see a path.

Veggie soup done...

That’s funny! The rabbit I had as a kid would chew through wrapping paper to get to bag of alfalfa we gave him.

Looks delish! Really loaded! I think thats what i do wrong. Im like, oh cant have peas, too starchy, oh this veg doesnt "belong" in soup, blah blah blah i end up with tomato stone soup.

I used carrots, peas, green beans, cauliflower, broccoli and potatoes. Less potatoes than I used to though. Anyway it's yummy!

The arguing really started Wednesday. I came home and knew my dog had another bladder infection. I told him I was short on cash to take her to the vet. He told me I had to find a solution. I told him he adopted another dog without being able to afford the one he has. I made a vet appointment for after I got paid so I can use my check to take her. I told him when the appointment was going to be. I knew it wasn’t going to go well and wanted him there. He didn’t come. When I came home yesterday we got into a blow up about him not coming. He said he was tired, told me he’s sick of my attitude (we had a heated text exchange the day before about the dogs health issues and money.) He said I make him feel unloved and that he can’t deal with it anymore. He said I make him feel like crap. He went on to scream about how my job is bull crap, and I’m wasting my time. I yelled back he should not care about that as I equally contribute to the bills. (It’s not like I’m a free loader) I pay the same amount towards the bills that he does every month. He told me he works countless hours and I get to sit around someone’s house all day. Not true-I’m caring for 2 year old twins. (He thinks that means I just sit around all day) he really is clueless on how hard it is to care for children-especially children that aren’t your own. My job is hard. Very hard and very anxiety provoking.
We screamed at each other about all our faults. I told him I cant stand when he plays victim. Everyone is always doing something to him, or things happen to him. He never brings his own problems on-it’s always someone else’s fault. After I said that to him he totally lost it. Said he can’t do it anymore. Said I don’t love him. Said it’s been brewing for awhile. Then he left. He came back later in the day which resulted in another blow up about all the same stuff. I told him if he wants to go-then go and take all his stuff with him. That nobody is going to stop him. That just made him more mad because I wasn’t running after him.
I worked last night, came home went to bed and woke up still a mess this AM. He is probably fuming that I have not called begging him to come back. I’m not needy in that way. He knows that and it bothers him. He knew I wasn’t needy when we started dating 19 years ago and he knew I wasn’t needy when he married me 12 1/2 years ago. I don’t fault people who are needy, but I am not needy and therefore I am unable to help him in his desire to be needed.
19 years. Poof. Gone. Just like that.

Hugs, Jersey...

Maybe I should have played the field more when I was younger. I never dated much in high school. I wasn’t the girl who always had to have a boyfriend. I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. After high school I dated a few guys-none of those relationships really lasting more than 8 months or so. Then I stopped dating for a while, then I met H at 21. I’ll be 40 in March.

I’m out right now not so much to watch football (the better games are later today) but to have some time sort of to myself before the family stuff the next 2 days. That’s part of what seeing T this morning was about too.

Jersey

It's not your fault for not dating more etc... people change, we never can truly know someone, sadly. Long term marriages ending are more common than I wish they were. It is very sad, especially this time of year. Now will start the next chapter of your story... weather it involves another long term relationship or not. Hopefully you can get the support you need to get through this. Hug your dog lots!

*I am 36 and never dated in my life.*

It’s totally okay to take some time for you.

H is out on a job, laundry is going, house is peaceful, I am peaceful. It is nice to not be working today.