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Trig Dec 26, 2018 at 05:29 PM
  #1
Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for her. However, it means that I won't get to see her for at least 6 months.

I'm hurting so bad. I'm also jealous. I just want to die. I don't know how I'm going to make it without her for six months. I can barely make it 2 days without communication.

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:32 PM
  #2
That would be really hard for me, too. Can you maybe see someone else while she's on leave? It wouldn't be the same, of course, but might still be helpful.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:36 PM
  #3
Wow, six months is a long time. HUGS Kit
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:44 PM
  #4
Sorry you're struggling Scarlet.thats a tough thing ...

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:54 PM
  #5
Congratulations to your therapist but I know this is hard for you.

My guess is that she'll have some options for people to see while she's on leave.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:55 PM
  #6
Oh man. That would be a really tough pill for me to swallow, too.

It probably won't make you feel any better but here in Canada they're allowed 18 months for maternity leave.

I know it's nowhere near the same, and it's going to feel like starting all over again, but I'm sure she will leave you in good hands.

Do you know when she's due?
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 05:57 PM
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I'm sorry, Scarlet. Is there any chance she'd be willing to talk on the phone during that time? And when is she due to start her maternity leave?
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:07 PM
  #8
thats so hard! I understand being jealous. i hope you and she can work out some way to communicate.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:14 PM
  #9
Thats so hard. Hugs. I hope she has away to keep intouch six months is a long time.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:35 PM
  #10
Nope. No contact for at least 6 months. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. She starts maternity leave in April.

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:43 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
Nope. No contact for at least 6 months. No phone calls, texts, emails, nothing. She starts maternity leave in April.

Ugh, I'm sorry. Will she at least let you see her more often than monthly until then? And it seems like it would be good to find another T for those 6 months if possible.
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Trig Dec 26, 2018 at 06:45 PM
  #12
Guys, I'm so depressed. I've been crying ever since she told me...the last 2 hours and 10 mins. Like bawling; not just crying. I'm losing everything! No baby, going to lose the house, and now I'm definitely losing my T. And my meds haven't kicked in yet, so I'm super depressed.
Possible trigger:
I said in my other thread I live for my T. Well, now she's going to be gone.
Possible trigger:
I really need help!

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Last edited by Turtleboy; Dec 27, 2018 at 12:13 PM.. Reason: Bring within guidelines
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:49 PM
  #13
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
Ugh, I'm sorry. Will she at least let you see her more often than monthly until then? And it seems like it would be good to find another T for those 6 months if possible.
I don't know how often I'll be able to see her until then. Right now I'm at once a week due to how bad my depression already is. This last 6 days, I've called het 4 times! The deal is that I call her if I feel suicidal or like cutting. Sucks, this session and last I left feeling suicidal and like cutting.

She said she wants me to find another T while she's away. She said she'll help and maybe we can even have a joint session before she leaves. But I don't want another T!

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 06:49 PM
  #14
If you are suicidal, you need to get to an ER.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 09:44 PM
  #15
I just called the crisis line. Of course they were of no help. And yes I told them I'm suicidal.

My dad overhead me on the phone and came in to check on me. He suggested we go out. So we went out to a new age shop. While there, H called. He was freaking out because he got a new phone today and it didn't connect with his car. He needed a key card and couldn't find it. Yes, he knew about T BEFORE deciding to get a new phone and he knew he wasn't going to be home when I came home. Then I got yelled at and lectured about losing the key card and how I shouldn't worry about T and everything's going to be okay. So not helpful.

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 09:53 PM
  #16
Oh, Scarlet...

I can't imagine how you must feel, especially given everything you're going through with your own family at present. My heart aches for you, and I cried for you when I read this. I'm not surprised that the crisis line wasn't helpful. Please take care of yourself right now.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 10:20 PM
  #17
H just left me again. This time he's going out Lyft'ing. He doesn't care.

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 10:41 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
H just left me again. This time he's going out Lyft'ing. He doesn't care.
Or, it’s his way of trying to help. Bringing is some income to help since money is a stress he thinks he can try to help with.
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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 10:46 PM
  #19
Called crisis line again. This time it helped. The lady actually talked to me and acknowledged my feelings and reassured me they're normal. She told me to plan out my next session with T, so I can express everything I want to. I have a headache from crying so much. I think I'm going to sleep for a while.

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Default Dec 26, 2018 at 11:06 PM
  #20
Oh no, I'm so sorry , Scarlet. I've been through this. It's awful and triggers every single abandonment trigger you could possibly have. HANG IN THERE! These feelings are going to pass!!
My T went on maternity leave over a year ago and hasn't returned yet. I am doing okay with the T I transferred to though, so its okay now, but it was SO. HARD. in the beginning. I was genuinely happy for my T and genuinely devastated for me.

What I did to make it easier was see my new T while I was still seeing T. I visited new T for 15 minutes at a time at first and then worked up to alternating weeks between them. I didn't really want to do that but I knew I had to create that safety net for myself because I wasn't coping with the change.

You have time to work on your safety net. Do your best to create a strong one. 6 month will go by so fast, while at the same time feeling like forever. Just plug up those gaps with a stop gap T to tide you over the rough times.

You can do this. You can support yourself through this. I know how devastating it feels. But you can find ways to carry yourself through that devastation. It probably isn't going to feel good, but you can make it "good enough" to carry you through. You just have to survive this period of time. Anything else you may get out of it is a bonus. But you can make it good enough to get you to the other side.
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