Questions for new part-time T - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-03-2019, 11:12 PM #1
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1,492 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Questions for new part-time T

I know this topic has been posted many many times, but if you could please help me with it especially if you know my past/current situation.

I don't know what modalities I should be looking for. I'm thinking DBT? But I think my T said something about psychoanalytic or psychodynamic? I know I don't want CBT.

What other questions should I ask?

I should probably bring up that I have BPD? And my extreme attachment to T. Should I say that I don't want to attach to the new T?

I know I should ask about emails and phone calls. I need a T who can be there outside of session. But I don't think I need to ask about hugs. Or should I? What if I do become attached and want a hug?

Should I find someone who I might be able to attach to? This new T will hopefully be my backup T for a long time. A part of me is against attachment, but maybe it could be healthy?

Should I choose a man or a woman? I think I'll get attached to a woman. An older woman would probably create transference which I really don't want. And I'm afraid if I get attached to a man, it will be hard for me to not get it confused with attraction.

I feel overwhelmed with emotions. I don't want to do this. But I have to. I can't survive 6 months without a T. Everyone knows this. Even my dad who somehow thinks there's nothing wrong with me, knows I need a T.

Please, again, keep in mind that this is a backup T, I have BPD, and I get attached to people.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 01-03-2019, 11:19 PM #2
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,617
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,617 (SuperPoster!)

Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

On the topic of modalities, you say you don't want CBT. May I ask why? I am pretty anti-CBT myself, so I'm not trying to nudge you in that direction or anything. It's just that CBT has a lot in common with DBT, so I'm wondering if there's something you don't like about CBT that would also be a problem with DBT.
susannahsays is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-03-2019, 11:24 PM #3
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1,492 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
On the topic of modalities, you say you don't want CBT. May I ask why? I am pretty anti-CBT myself, so I'm not trying to nudge you in that direction or anything. It's just that CBT has a lot in common with DBT, so I'm wondering if there's something you don't like about CBT that would also be a problem with DBT.
I don't like the thought worksheets! Really. I don't like breaking down my thoughts. Pros and cons, okay. Mindfulness, okay. Coping skills, teflon mind, okay. I don't want the strictness of a DBT program either. I prefer talking through things, processing, exploring. However, I don't need to go into my past. I've dealt with my past enough. I need to focus on the present and how to cope with the loss of my T.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-03-2019, 11:26 PM #4
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,617
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,617 (SuperPoster!)

Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

Hmm. Maybe therapy from primarily a psychodynamic approach, but with a therapist who is also trained in DBT?
susannahsays is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-03-2019, 11:28 PM #5
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1,492 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

I'm thinking a DBT T might be good because they usually treat BPD, and they usually do out of session contact. That's what I'm going to need the most. Even if I have to pay per email, it's something that's important to me.

Eta: I don't want a T who is judgemental towards people with borderline. I need someone who can see me as me and not just a diagnosis.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-04-2019, 12:30 AM #6
justbreathe1994's Avatar
justbreathe1994 justbreathe1994 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: new hampshire
Posts: 392
justbreathe1994 justbreathe1994 is offline
Member
justbreathe1994's Avatar
justbreathe1994 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: new hampshire
Posts: 392

3 yr Member
119 hugs
given
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

If you struggle with attachment to your T, Id definitely recommend DBT. However, most DBT therapists who offer phone coaching also have pretty strict boundaries and are adherent DBT - meaning they will expect you to fill out diary cards, BCAs (behavior chain analysis), and perhaps even join a skills group. The exercises are very similar to CBT, as DBT and CBT overlap in many ways (yet different in some) My therapist is a bit lenient, which does make me nervous her more lax boundaries may cause me to become attached. Since many DBT therapists do offer out of session contact, I think thats why adherent DBT is so structured so as to help the client gain skills without becoming overly dependent on the therapist for the out of session support.
justbreathe1994 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-04-2019, 01:22 AM #7
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1,492 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

Yeah, I'm not into the diary cards or such. I'm not really into writing anything out. T sometimes makes me write stuff, but they're usually reminders or mantras. Sometimes she has me challenge my thoughts. So yes, I do some CBT/DBT, but really it's modified. Maybe that's why T didn't suggest DBT.
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-04-2019, 01:44 AM #8
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake Lemoncake is online now
Luna's offical mini me.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 5,425
Lemoncake Lemoncake is online now
Luna's offical mini me.
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake has daddy issues...
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 5,425 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
4,797 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

My T is on both the psychodynamic and psychoanalytical registers, but I mentioned a DBT skills workbook someone recommend to me and he was okay to work with it. The one I have is by Matthew Mckay and you can work through on your own too.
__________________
"Love, like life, flows
Through the heart.
Feel the thrill of the flow
And say nothing."

Lemoncake is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-04-2019, 02:46 AM #9
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Elder
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 5,727 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
1,492 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
My T is on both the psychodynamic and psychoanalytical registers, but I mentioned a DBT skills workbook someone recommend to me and he was okay to work with it. The one I have is by Matthew Mckay and you can work through on your own too.
I don't really want to work through a workbook. I have 2 I think and have never read either. I just need a T to support me while T is gone. I'm honestly not looking to do any work except processing the loss of T. But thank you for the suggestion!
__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
ScarletPimpernel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-04-2019, 02:50 AM #10
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,842
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is online now
Grand Poohbah
Echos Myron redux is tired
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,842 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
1,641 hugs
given
Default Re: Questions for new part-time T

If you're mostly looking for support processing the loss, I would think psychodynamic or humanistic would be fine. Personally I think the most important thing is how the relationship with your therapist feels for you. Try a few of different modalities and see what your gut tells you when you meet people. Remember you can always switch if the therapist isn't working for you.
Echos Myron redux is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:13 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.