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Old 01-09-2019, 10:18 PM   #1
Dnester
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Can someone enlighten me on Internal Family Systems?My therapist thinks thats whats going on when I hear my "chatter" ( saying things to myself like I want to die, I dont want to be here etc.) I googled it but I dont see protector parts on there like she described. Also when you have BPD is the polarized part of your Internal Family System messed up?
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Old 01-09-2019, 10:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: IFS

Others may know more , but my T worked on something similar with me. Like he would say a part that is a " protector " will say something like " let's not go and look at the problems and what is hurting and let's go have coffee instead " or it may be something that warns other parts that want to look at something off. So it protects you ( and your pain ) , and it means well , but you have to get another part to try to convince the protecter that it's safe to go there. I use DBT skills although I'm don't have BPD , so I'm unsure about how this might work with BPD. Hope that helps !
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Old 01-10-2019, 03:43 AM   #3
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Default Re: IFS

This might help give you a basic overview.

Internal Family Systems Therapy | Psychology Today

I have bpd and early on we worked with part theory even though he's psychodynamic/psychoanalytical. We didn't use those terms either though.

I always used to feel so fragmented and I believe it's trauma that causes this. I felt like I had 3 parts, which were very distinct. Two of which were children aged 4 and 7 and my current age. It was about identifying and giving space to allow each of them to talk. The youngest did nothing but cry because at that age I didn't really have words. Two years on I feel more whole. I actually feel each part less.

Similarly he said he was okay also look at inner child work when I brought it up. It might sound woo, but if you're interested I would really recommend the series Homecoming which is available on youtube by John Bradshaw.
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Old 01-10-2019, 03:50 AM   #4
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Default Re: IFS

Dr. Janina Fisher has many resources on line about IFS/ parts work. I believe it was pioneered by Dr. Schwartz and is a very caring effective therapy acknowledging people are made up not just of one sense of self, but many selves called "parts". The childhood part who is injured, the high functioning part that earns a pay check etc. . Dr. Fisher works with DID and very traumatized people who are fragmented into distinct alters. In other therapy it helps embrace deeply embedded conflicts below consciousness to explore the way in which one part might work against or in concert with other parts, how one part may be I the driver's seat at different moments etc.
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Old 01-10-2019, 07:52 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
This might help give you a basic overview.

Internal Family Systems Therapy | Psychology Today

I have bpd and early on we worked with part theory even though he's psychodynamic/psychoanalytical. We didn't use those terms either though.

I always used to feel so fragmented and I believe it's trauma that causes this. I felt like I had 3 parts, which were very distinct. Two of which were children aged 4 and 7 and my current age. It was about identifying and giving space to allow each of them to talk. The youngest did nothing but cry because at that age I didn't really have words. Two years on I feel more whole. I actually feel each part less.

Similarly he said he was okay also look at inner child work when I brought it up. It might sound woo, but if you're interested I would really recommend the series Homecoming which is available on youtube by John Bradshaw.
Can you tell me a little bit more about your part theory experience?
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Old 01-10-2019, 09:54 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I always used to feel so fragmented and I believe it's trauma that causes this. I felt like I had 3 parts, which were very distinct. Two of which were children aged 4 and 7 and my current age. It was about identifying and giving space to allow each of them to talk. The youngest did nothing but cry because at that age I didn't really have words. Two years on I feel more whole. I actually feel each part less.
Sorry to hijack this thread some, how do you feel about not feeling your parts as much. I am 3 yrs in and this last year, I've noticed that I don't feel each part as much. However, with that, I don't seem to feel the gifts each part held as well. Losing the good with what has felt like an integration of the the parts (or quieting of them) has left me very confused on if I'm truly integrating, if they are fragmenting themselves, or if I'm banishing them.

Fragmenting themselves - meaning that what I recognized as 3 distinct younger parts were more like committees and now each element of the committee is being able to be singled out (slowly).

Also, I've wondered if integration means losing some elements of the parts I like, do I really want integration. Sometimes/often I miss having the feeling of "we" as there's been more "I" in my thinking. Most the time I don't know who the "I" is, it just feels more singular even when there is conflicting thoughts/feelings/wants/needs.

Have you experienced anything like this? I'm not even sure I'm making sense.
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Old 01-10-2019, 10:27 AM   #7
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You are making sense.

To be honest I hadn't really thought about it and I'm not sure how I feel now that you've brought it up. I don't really know if I'm better off or if I've lost something that I can't replace. It used to feel like I was just three different people at the same time, each coming out depending on the situation. I don't hear that younger chatter in my head anymore and just very rarely I doubt they're even there. I understand the gift part. I feel like I have lost that creativity and wonder.

But ho hum I already struggled with identity to begin with and more than anything I feel like I had a chameleon soul, no me just mimicking my environment.
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Old 01-10-2019, 10:36 AM   #8
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Quote:
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Can you tell me a little bit more about your part theory experience?
I gave each one a different name, and he would talk to whoever wanted to talk. and with time he got very good at recognizing each one. I also tended to switch between each back and forth though, so not consistently one throughout the whole session.

When I was ready he said that although each was there they made up me and that I had overall control. That seems so obvious but it was like a lightbulb moment.
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Old 01-10-2019, 11:06 AM   #9
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Quote:
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Can you tell me a little bit more about your part theory experience?
We did not officially follow IFS. As things developed and unfolded for me, I felt like there were 3 distinct younger parts that I referred to as the young boy (~3-4), the older boy (10-13), and the younger girl (11-14). I mapped out my memories/history as well as parts of personality traits that felt like they fit into these ages. Like Lemoncake, I let them each speak as they came out. Similar to DID but not DID (clearly not DID), they each have their own way of speaking and being. I'm fairly sure that my T got good at recognizing which part was presenting at any given time when the dialog was ongoing. For about a year now, the parts have been weird, quiet, different. Now, I am not so sure she is able pick up on when something starts flowing from a specific part. They are not completely gone. They do seem to be more fleeting and maybe even more guarded. So we'll be talking about something and I'll say/feel something that is significantly out of place for the level of emotional intensity of the discussion, as if some part took control of the ship for a moment.

As far as goals around the parts, my T's goal was more about me finding a way to work with the different parts than integration. While integration was a possible so was learning how to talk with each part and work with the parts to meet the needs of being heard by each part and then being able to make informed decisions based on everything.

I'm sorry if this is a bit confusing some of it is hard for me to describe.


Feel free to PM me any questions.
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Old 01-10-2019, 12:41 PM   #10
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Default Re: IFS

Ok, Im confused. This isnt DID I am speaking of. I dont have anything in me that feels like a child. I do have chatter but its me talking to me during trauma work and late at night when I am thinking of trauma work. I do havd this other side to me but I thought that was borderline personality disorder as it came about in my early twenties.
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