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SalingerEsme
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Default May 29, 2018 at 12:34 PM
  #1
1) Mindfulness and being in the present moment
2) Engaging with this community in which people know what it is like and have common ground
3) Running/ Exercise
4) meds for some people
5) pets/ dogs for some people
6) Friends/ social support / families for some people( for others these created the core problem)
7 Compassionate service to others

What other ways are there to battle distracting/ absorbing/ or exhausting emotional pain outside of session independently of T before it reaches the point of SI or SH or reasonable functioning in daily life. Nothing is seeming to help.

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Default May 29, 2018 at 12:37 PM
  #2
Most of mine are 3-5.

I'd add getting at least mildly intellectually engaged in something--reading a good book, writing (journaling or something independent of oneself), an interesting TV series.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 12:40 PM
  #3
I couldn't manage without a T (well I can now because my inner self is more resilient now owing to therapy)
None of what you listed before therapy would have helped. Hell, alcohol even stopped working.
Its an inside job. To be able to do that, one needs resilience.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 01:04 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Mouse_62 View Post
I couldn't manage without a T (well I can now because my inner self is more resilient now owing to therapy)
None of what you listed before therapy would have helped. Hell, alcohol even stopped working.
Its an inside job. To be able to do that, one needs resilience.
I think esme means between sessions.

My long term t used to say something about being able to hold the two conflicting ideas in your head for as long as possible. But it doesnt sound like thats exactly what youre talking about? I dont get a sense of what the second thing might be.

Thats probably why i didnt understand it when my t said it back in the freakin 1980's. I wasnt really aware of a "conflict". Doh to avogadros number.

Esme, you never speak of family, even in the most general terms, except for of coming from a fairly privileged background. Yet this bad thing happened. Can you just give us some context? Like, "i got mugged at a starbucks, and now im mad at my t because he wont let me call him whenever i go to starbucks between sessions." I am nothing if not the queen of bad examples!
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Default May 29, 2018 at 01:04 PM
  #5
I take naps - I've discovered that my emotional brain is often restarted after a short nap and the world looks different.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 01:22 PM
  #6
I find listening to music can help. And if there are activities in which you can become very absorbed and very focused on the task at hand. For me, cooking is one of those. T has also mentioned gardening in his list of ways to occupy your mind (I'm...not so good at gardening). In terms of exercise, he's said that even very light exercise, like a short walk, can be helpful. I'm also enjoying the Qi Gong classes I've been attending (it's related to Tai Chi), since I have to really focus on what I'm doing. Journaling is another option.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 01:43 PM
  #7
I do small things everyday that bring me "joy" (quoting my sister). I need routine. Wake up, shower with nice soap. Light my lavender candle. Make tea. Walk to the park or go study in a coffee shop. Just being out of my place so I can't SH.But I find evenings hard if I'm very low. On my worst days I just give in to it. I get into bed and cry. Often with my laptop and a soft blanket I watch endless documentaries or just anything to numb myself out and keep myself safe.

I've contacted a charity before, I post a lot here but I'm also lucky I have my brother.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 02:21 PM
  #8
For me, doing something with my hands gets me out of my head, which can help most when I just can't put something away. Cooking, gardening, and fiber arts creative work are my top choices. I knit, spin, and weave. I like making things, whether it's a pair of socks for me or a shawl for someone else.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 02:37 PM
  #9
I also like doing things with my hands because I get something tangible out of it. Mostly I crochet. I've also been listening to guided meditations by Tara Brach, which I find easier than freeform meditation when I'm distressed. I find her voice soothing.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 02:40 PM
  #10
For me... being with my dog or talking to friends online is the biggest help

I also journal often or sit quietly in my dog's memorial garden and reflect. I love being in nature so sometimes I'll walk and look at birds or something too
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Default May 29, 2018 at 03:48 PM
  #11
Making collages. Cooking. Meditation. Getting involved in a good book. Sometimes taking a walk outside.

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Default May 29, 2018 at 04:37 PM
  #12
Writing helps me just get all the "yuck" out of my body. I feel like the poison drips from me head/heart, down my arms, and on to the paper or screen. Sometimes its just journaling about my feelings, other times I step back and write like it is happening to a character in a story.
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Default May 29, 2018 at 04:40 PM
  #13
Running or playing soccer, meditation, socializing, journaling, "Inner Work" (based on the Internal Family Systems model)
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Default May 29, 2018 at 06:20 PM
  #14
I don't think the therapist ever helped with managing emotional pain/anguish. I walk the dogs or write stories or exercise

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Default May 29, 2018 at 06:23 PM
  #15
Gardening, which is for me a kind of mindfulness that anchors me both to the present moment and to a thread that's woven through most of my life.

Journaling even if I'm just writing (in essence) "Yep, this is still sh***y."

Walking and listening to a podcast helps. I think because I am moving, and listening to people speaking helps keep my thoughts engaged outside my head. Listening to music doesn't distract me the same way.

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Default May 29, 2018 at 09:38 PM
  #16
Listening to music
Reading
Coloring
Hot shower
Computer games like candy crush or solitaite

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Default May 29, 2018 at 09:59 PM
  #17
Overwork, overeat, binge watch a multi-year series (preferably intense--Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Shameless).
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Default May 30, 2018 at 05:36 AM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I think esme means between sessions.

My long term t used to say something about being able to hold the two conflicting ideas in your head for as long as possible. But it doesnt sound like thats exactly what youre talking about? I dont get a sense of what the second thing might be.

Thats probably why i didnt understand it when my t said it back in the freakin 1980's. I wasnt really aware of a "conflict". Doh to avogadros number.

Esme, you never speak of family, even in the most general terms, except for of coming from a fairly privileged background. Yet this bad thing happened. Can you just give us some context? Like, "i got mugged at a starbucks, and now im mad at my t because he wont let me call him whenever i go to starbucks between sessions." I am nothing if not the queen of bad examples!
ch sa- 0-9 years

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Default May 30, 2018 at 05:39 AM
  #19
I am going to try a garden, and go back to hiking the dogs five miles in the woods. Thank you for all the suggestions. In fight , flight , or freeze, something about therapy sessions makes a freeze or I mainly feel like a bird that hit a window .

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Default May 30, 2018 at 06:52 AM
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