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Old 01-13-2019, 08:53 PM #1
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Default What does the therapist mean by this?

C sent the therapist a text and the therapist responded, "I'm concerned about you." I do not understand this expression coming from a therapist. Actually, I don't understand this expression much period. I don't understand lots of the things therapists say, but this one and things like "I care about you" and "I like you" (both of which the therapist sometimes says) baffle me.

I realize this touches on the topic of therapists caring and stuff, which seems like a sensitive subject with some people. I do not intend to be inflammatory. I am just confused by the intended the effect these words are supposed to have on me and how I am expected to respond. Obviously, the actual effect and my response are either out of both the therapist and my control or only under my control. I guess I'm curious what the therapist is thinking when she says these things. My assumption is that she says these things with some aim in mind, otherwise, why bother? Not understanding her purpose makes me feel suspicious and off balance.

What I am looking for in this post is what people think their therapists intend by these statements, and the effect such statements have on you. Also how you respond. Obviously none of us are mindreaders, I'm just interested what people think. I love debate, but please remember that everyone has a right to their opinion, and you are unlikely to change someone's perception by telling them they are wrong.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:01 PM #2
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

When Iíve heard it (itís been a while), itís been that theyíre concerned I am in a bad enough state that I will hurt myself in some way. I think the purpose is either to get me to reach out to them or to get me not to do whatever. The effect on me has basically been to shrug it off. I tend to assume they are just checking boxes. Otherwise they might actually do something about whatever.

Presumably Cís text precipitated the statement, so maybe you could figure it out from that?
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:04 PM #3
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

My T never said he was concerned about me, but if he had, it was just saying that he was caring and hoping I was ok. Just like most people would for someone.

My T never said much to the effect but if he didn't, I wouldn't read into it. I'd just take it as caring, part of the T job

That being said, the closest examples I can think of is, once when we texted.... he said "Everyone has value, even if they don't see it yet" and a smiley face. I'd have to go back and read my response to it but it was probably either a joke or just something, like, ya that's true.

The other was when I read something out loud after we had a disagreement that nearly ended it all, and I said "At times, you made me feel loved" and I was very unsure of how he'd reply but he simply said "Good" and smiled. That, made my entire day. I try to use that as one of the moments to reflect on when I'm down even though it's hard to see good lately.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:05 PM #4
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

I would interpret it as they are worried about me for some reason. My most likely internal reaction would be reflecting on it a bit to see if the worry is founded, maybe I am overlooking/denying something, or perhaps they misunderstood.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:07 PM #5
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

@@ The text said we hadn't bathed in 6 days (I know, gross, I was so mortified she snitched I ended the strike). To be exact, it said, "Today is the 6th day I have not bathed." That's all. Then when the therapist responded, she said, "I am concerned about you. We can talk about this tomorrow when I see you." Only it's my turn tomorrow and I don't want to talk about living in filth.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:10 PM #6
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

You are in charge of your therapy SS, if you don't want to discuss something, don't. If you do, that's ok too. You decide, not the T.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:10 PM #7
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

It sounds to me like she is concerned because you seem depressed since you haven't bathed in 6 days. But it doesn't sound like she thinks you will hurt yourself. I wouldn't try to read too much into this.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:21 PM #8
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

Yes, it sounds like she thinks you and C are in a downward spiral.

I donít think youíd have to talk about the living in filth. Just the reasons youíre doing so.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:29 PM #9
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

I guess I just don't understand why she said it because if I'm worried about somebody, that's not how I express myself.
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Old 01-13-2019, 09:36 PM #10
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Default Re: What does the therapist mean by this?

And just to be clear, the filth situation has been taken care of. While my father might say I am living in squalor (that being his pet phrase), I even cleaned the shower before my ablutions.

Now I'm just working myself up to getting dressed so I can take out the recycling. It's piled up so high over the week that the roommate actually told me to take it out today.
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