Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-14-2019, 11:31 AM #11
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,631
susannahsays susannahsays is offline
Grand Poohbah
susannahsays's Avatar
susannahsays has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,631 (SuperPoster!)

Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

I really don't want to get out of bed. I need to leave for class in an hour. I'm letting myself pay for parking, even though I shouldn't waste the money. I just can't face catching the bus today. Besides, I think riding the bus might make me late for our appointment later. But there won't be that excuse on Wednesday.

I hate riding the bus so very much.
susannahsays is offline  

advertisement
Old 01-14-2019, 12:02 PM #12
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 8,761
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Wise Elder
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is working on it.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 8,761 (SuperPoster!)

21.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Dear Former T: thanks for emailing me back. It really didn't help though. I mean it was good to hear from you and to know you are okay, but it just didn't help. Hopefully I will remember that for the future. I see new T on Friday. Stuff to talk about for sure but not sure I will be able to. The trust factor is not there yet, y'know?! I wish hearing from you would have helped this deep pain that I'm in from not seeing you. I wish something would help. Kit
SlumberKitty is offline  
Old 01-14-2019, 01:02 PM #13
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
48.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Dear T,
That wasn’t the direction I expected things to go in today, but that was an astute observation at how I react whenever that topic comes up. So it’s good we talked about it. And I think we’ll need to continue talking about it. Also, I seem to have hit the point where I can just talk about sex-related stuff with you without a hint of embarrassment. Well, ok, maybe when you asked me that question about the concert...but that was my fault for how I worded it!
But thanks for being accepting about the main topic. And trying to help me stop beating myself up about the mistake I made 3 years ago.
Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline  
Old 01-14-2019, 01:44 PM #14
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,641
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
Grand Poohbah
toomanycats is taking it one day at a time
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,641 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
540 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Yes, my trauma matters to me. The voice tells me that it doesn't matter to anyone else, and that it's shameful of me to want it to matter to anyone else. But, I do. I want it to matter to you. So, thank you for telling me that it does. I will try really hard to hold onto that and not slip into doubting it.

It's just hard knowing you've heard a million of these stories. I cried about it last night. Wishing either that you were my dad (because, if you were my dad, it'd be different...I wouldn't just be one of a thousand clients throughout the years. I'd be your daughter.) or that I could've told my dad what happened. But I couldn't. It's not their fault - they had no idea what'd happened & they were doing the right thing - but them holding that "we discovered you were going to meet men from the internet" intervention just came at the worst possible time and made it impossible for me to tell them what had happened. Not that I would've told them anyways. We just didn't have that kind of relationship.

But, I wish we did. I wish I felt comfortable enough to be truly open with them. I wish I felt like they actually wanted to know what had happened. I would want to know if it were my daughter. But, whenever I've brought it up, I just get awkward looks and awkward silence. I have always, always gotten the strong feeling that they prefer not to know about any of the things I'm in therapy for. And I have genuinely tried to bring it up multiple times. (And I feel a lot of shame over that too. That it's shameful for me to have tried to talk about it with anyone I wasn't paying to help with it.)
toomanycats is offline  
Old 01-14-2019, 02:18 PM #15
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,846
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
Grand Poohbah
Echos Myron redux is tired
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,846 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
1,642 hugs
given
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Well so much with me being fine with missing you. It's hit me like a brick wall today.
Echos Myron redux is offline  
Old 01-14-2019, 04:16 PM #16
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
48.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Dear T,
Sorry for email, just struggling. Maybe I should have let more emotion out in session...maybe you/we intellectualized it all too much? I don't know...I think it's just a topic worthy of multiple sessions, so we just dredged it up today. And can continue conversation Thursday...then Monday if needed. I think what I really want to know is...do you judge me for what I did? But I don't get the sense that you do. And I know, even if you did, it doesn't matter. But still part of me wants to know. And...have you ever done what I did? Or at least thought about it? Or has someone else done it to you?

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline  
Old 01-14-2019, 07:27 PM #17
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
48.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Dear T,
Sorry, just want you to understand where my brain goes...I know you likely won't say anything until the morning, it's OK. I respect your boundaries.

Love,
LT
LonesomeTonight is offline  
Hugs from:
Old 01-14-2019, 07:34 PM #18
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 velcro003 is online now
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,969
velcro003 velcro003 is online now
Elder
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,969

10 yr Member
26 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

i highly doubt your T is judging you. as he's said before, you judge yourself entirely too harshly as it is
velcro003 is online now  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-14-2019, 07:34 PM #19
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 velcro003 is online now
Elder
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,969
velcro003 velcro003 is online now
Elder
velcro003's Avatar
velcro003 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,969

10 yr Member
26 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

hey t. tomorrow's session should be interesting since i've decided to play hooky. i kinda never want to go back to work ever.
velcro003 is online now  
Old 01-14-2019, 08:01 PM #20
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Swimming duck
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 11,853 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
48.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVIII

Quote:
Originally Posted by velcro003 View Post
i highly doubt your T is judging you. as he's said before, you judge yourself entirely too harshly as it is

Oh, I definitely judge myself too much--more than anyway else could ever do.
LonesomeTonight is offline  
Hugs from:
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:19 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.