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Member
blackocean
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 244
28 hugs
given |
#161
I’m nervous to see you.
What do you want from me? |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#162
Dear T. I'm starting to feel like I need you. Which is a bad thing. And what the heck are you trying to accomplish with the eye movement stuff? I wish you would explain more. As Ricky Ricardo would say, "Lucy! You have some 'splaining to do!" You ask me questions that I don't have answers to. Do I even know what I'm trying to work towards? Kit
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Anastasia~
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Comfy Sedation
junkDNA
endless ocean landing on an endless desert
Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: the woods
Posts: 19,301
(SuperPoster!)
8,149 hugs
given |
#163
ur so kind and good to me
you've gone way beyond the call of duty for me and I still treat you like trash making you bear witness to my tragic life seems sadistic on my end but I guess it makes things feel less pointless like at least you know. you saw me and you heard me. and you sat with me thru it all. you were the only one and its never enough. it will never be enough I know and you know... nothing will EVER fill the void in me __________________ |
Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#164
Dear T,
Sorry, I know you probably didn't say you have faith in me because you don't believe this will work and want to be honest with me. Or else maybe you'll say that in saying you support me in what I'm doing, it does mean you have faith (even though to me, those are different things...). I also think maybe I felt invalidated by what you said earlier in session, when I said I felt I had this big breakthrough in being emotionally open with you last session after being more closed off the past month, but you disagreed with that, saying you thought I had been emotional. So I didn't know what to say to that. And we spent more time on one or two topics than I'd intended to and should have focused on other things more. I sort of wish I could have a session do-over and start with the thing I ended with, then maybe I could have realized the "lack of faith in me" issue in real time instead of right after I walked out and discussed it then. Or maybe not, I dunno. Sigh. LT |
Anastasia~, InkyBooky, SlumberKitty
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#165
Dear T,
Thanks for the supportive response. It means a lot to me that you do believe in me. Love, LT |
Anastasia~, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Anastasia~
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,019
5,296 hugs
given |
#166
Dear T,
I am so attached to you that I am so afraid that it is going to be excruciating even going back to one day a week. With my last T, who was nowhere as good as you, it was excruciating. You have been so much more wonderful, and I am wondering if that is going to make it even more difficult to detach whenever the time arrives. I'm not ready yet, but I do think that I need to stop texting you to see if we are okay. You have told me enough that I should have realized we are okay. I am so afraid, I can't go through that painful process of detaching. I don't want to drown you with my attachment. I don't want to have a need to keep texting you, but I do. I feel so awful because I must be. I must be horrible because I sometimes act horrible. I am at a loss. I am in agony now and I just don't know what to do. I thought about texting you, but I don't want to do that. I am so sorry, I just don't ever want to be that me again. Ever. In thinking about it, I've lost my Mom, Dad, Grandmother, and Stepfather due to illness/death. I've also lost a sister and her kids. And of course, being terminated by my last therapist. I just can't stop crying. I am not ready to terminate now. I know you haven't said anything of the such, but just me going back to once a week and me not wanting to bother you texting is enough to trigger all of this. I don't know if the seven year mark (when I was terminated with previous T) is on my mind even though it is a bit away. I don't even know it this is all on my mind, I just don't know anything. __________________ Last edited by Anastasia~; Jan 21, 2019 at 07:09 PM.. |
SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Member
Nik87
has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: Bakersfield
Posts: 49
40 hugs
given |
#167
I'm a shell of a person. I can never be nothing more than that. Just let me go.
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Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#168
Dear T: I need you to help me. Kit
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Anastasia~, LonesomeTonight, piggy momma
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Always in This Twilight
LonesomeTonight
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,699
(SuperPoster!)
74.8k hugs
given |
#169
Dear T,
I wish you could write the first two words of your email "Have hope" on an index card for me to look at when I need to see it. I suppose I could ask for that? Or...maybe I could just write it for myself? Yes, that's probably what I should actually do. Love, LT |
Anastasia~, goatee, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Anastasia~, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Elder
velcro003
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,357
25 hugs
given |
#170
t--tomorrow night can't get here quick enough. i don't know why i still feel so $hitty after telling my boss today.
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Anastasia~, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, skeksi, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
piggy momma
loves all pigs. ALL. THE. PIGS.
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
70 hugs
given |
#171
I just texted you, but I’ll tell you again - I’m super excited to see you tomorrow. Even tho I don’t really have anything to talk about this week. I hope you can come up with something for us.
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Anastasia~, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
LabRat27
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
2,354 hugs
given |
#172
I'm sad. I've been terrible about taking my meds and rediscovering for the millionth time that I'm on them for good reason.
Maybe I'll feel less sad and vulnerable once I've slept. I really don't like you seeing me being this weak and pathetic, especially when it's my own fault because someone I can't manage to consistently take the few pills a day that help keep me from letting my life fall apart. You'd be disappointed in me. I should know better. |
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
atisketatasket
I may be @@, but please dont @ me.
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,137
(SuperPoster!)
12.4k hugs
given |
#173
Dear Info,
It’s bad. It’s just really bad right now. ATAT |
ElectricManatee, LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Member
RaineD
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
962 hugs
given |
#174
Thank you for everything. I never could have done any of this without you. I know you told me not to attribute all of my successes to you, but none of this seems possible without you.
I know you still look out for me. I just wish I could talk to you. I miss your smile and the sound of your voice. I miss hugging you. I miss the way you'd press your lips into a thin line and glance to the side when you're angry or frustrated. I miss the way you yelled at me. I just . . . miss you. Promise me one day I'll see you again. |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
RaineD
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
962 hugs
given |
#175
I wish my love could have saved you.
You know I would have died for you, right? |
LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
RaineD
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
962 hugs
given |
#176
While I was meditating, I had a mental image of going to see your office mate. That has not occurred to me. Is that what I should do?
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Guest
Anonymous59275
has no updates.
Edit
Posts: n/a
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#177
I've put up with your gaslighting long enough. I should add that I'm also sick of the other one's you've trained to gaslight me in your absence. Sick, SICK, SICK!!!
I'm telling you this even though I know you are a full blown narcissist and could care less. Sometimes I feel sorry for you and the others you've brainwashed into your way of thinking. You've spent a great deal of time trying to control me and I guess you are really upset that it hasn't worked. Narcissists are upset when they don't get their way. When they lose the admiration and respect they once had. It must be hard on you. I warned you. I told you, you would never win my soul. Never!! You and your goons can go fly a kite. |
SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
LostOnTheTrail
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,777
3,105 hugs
given |
#178
Quote:
No harm in asking, LT. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Lemoncake
Adult female human
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,646
(SuperPoster!)
10.1k hugs
given |
#179
4 hours, 59 minutes and 52 seconds.
I don't feel well and I am no Hercules. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
winterblues17
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 379
62 hugs
given |
#180
You let me down, you will never know how much. I don't think I did till today.. I actually think I hate you for the trust you built in me! In fact I hate everything and everyone!
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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