[East17]

For those of you who might have had a similar dilemma: If you were in crisis and didn't have anyone else to go to, would that be a good enough reason to bother a T who was off work due to an accident and said they couldn't see clients for at least 3 weeks?

Logical part says contacting her would be incredibly selfish and I should respect her right to time off to recover.
Emotional part hopes T might make an exception for me.
Critical punitive part says What's so special about you, why should she?

Any thoughts or advice..... please?

[Anne2.0]

I've called my T when he was off on staycation. Many times within one short period over the holidays. Did your T say not to contact her? If so, then don't. But if she didn't and especially if you've contacted her in off hours when she was in the office, I'd call or email or whatever contact method you use.

She can decide for herself whether she's well enough to answer the phone or return a call, or write a written reply. I'd keep the request short, like "I'm struggling and I think it would be helpful to me to talk (I think many therapists prefer the phone rather than written forms of communication, especially if she's injured as it may be hard to sit at the computer). I'd add the obvious, "I realize this may not be possible because of your injury, and if you can't respond I understand."

Asking for the help you need is a good thing (hello emotional part) and I don't agree that contacting her would be selfish (let her decide what she can do, you are doing nothing wrong by asking) nor do I agree with your inner critic. You don't have to be special to deserve help and it's okay to be ordinary.

One of the things I've learned about reaching out for help is to be prepared that sometimes people refuse-- not because you are selfish or for your thoughts of your specialness-- but because they can't or they're not in a position because . . . like . . . they are injured. I think you have to be willing to take a no if you reach out for help, because there is no entitlement to get what you ask for. There is also no judgment that you are a worthless person or a "reject" if the person says no. It's okay to ask and it's okay for someone to refuse.

[LonesomeTonight]

I agree with everything Anne said.

[Rive.]

What are T's boundaries re out of session contact? Did T say not to contact them in case of emergency or crisis? Do they have office staff where you could call?

I would advise a call if they have staff or a short message to T to explain that you are in crisis and if there is any back-up plan or alternative they (staff or T) could recommend.

[Taylor27]

I agree with what Anne wrote. Hugs

[piggy momma]

I agree with Anne. The only other thing I would add is to ask her for a referral to someone who CAN see you until she is back.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I've called my T when he was off on staycation. Many times within one short period over the holidays. Did your T say not to contact her? If so, then don't. But if she didn't and especially if you've contacted her in off hours when she was in the office, I'd call or email or whatever contact method you use.

She can decide for herself whether she's well enough to answer the phone or return a call, or write a written reply. I'd keep the request short, like "I'm struggling and I think it would be helpful to me to talk (I think many therapists prefer the phone rather than written forms of communication, especially if she's injured as it may be hard to sit at the computer). I'd add the obvious, "I realize this may not be possible because of your injury, and if you can't respond I understand."

Asking for the help you need is a good thing (hello emotional part) and I don't agree that contacting her would be selfish (let her decide what she can do, you are doing nothing wrong by asking) nor do I agree with your inner critic. You don't have to be special to deserve help and it's okay to be ordinary.

One of the things I've learned about reaching out for help is to be prepared that sometimes people refuse-- not because you are selfish or for your thoughts of your specialness-- but because they can't or they're not in a position because . . . like . . . they are injured. I think you have to be willing to take a no if you reach out for help, because there is no entitlement to get what you ask for. There is also no judgment that you are a worthless person or a "reject" if the person says no. It's okay to ask and it's okay for someone to refuse.

I have the opposite view to Anne. I think your T has made the decision that she is not fit for work at the moment. It's part of a T's registration that they need to know when they are fit for work. She also may need complete rest to recover from her accident.

[East17]

Thank you all for your replies and views.


T does allow contact outside of sessions but I've been putting it off and putting it off for nearly 3 weeks precisely because I didn't want to bother her while she was unwell.

The immediate issue is an escalating crisis and T has been on this particular journey with me for nearly 4 years and I couldn't face going through it all again with someone else. Fortunately she has made it known that she is likely to be back at work next week and I have a provisional session booked for Monday morning.

I hate depending on one person so much, but when you don't have a support network, it is very difficult to know who to turn to.... usually I end up not turning to anyone and burying it all inside - but that brings its own set of problems, as I have found to my cost.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Good to hear that she is returning to work. Just in time in sounds like. Hope it all works out now that she'll be back to support you.