[Everyday12]

I have been in therapy for over a year.The original problem has greatly improved.
Therapy in general makes me feel like crap. I am thinking of quitting. Why make my self feel bad.
How do I know when to say thanks but no thanks.

[susannahsays]

What's keeping you in therapy if the original problem has resolved and it just makes you feel bad? There must be a reason you are even asking this question.

[Everyday12]

Original problem is dealing with an adult child with mental health and addiction issues. I'm am still in therapy because this issue has just stabilized in the last month.

[susannahsays]

So has therapy actually helped, or has the situation improved on its own?

[Everyday12]

I can say that it has helped. One I needed to learn to deal with my kid differently. I needed some one to hold me accountable.
During the course of therapy, other things have come to light. I don't feel they cause to much of an issue in day to day living, but talking about them in therapy creates anxiety.
I am now only going to see my therapist once a month. I think at that long of an interval ,might as Well not be going at all. Obviously she feels I am doing okay.

[SlumberKitty]

Maybe time for a conversation with the therapist. Such as xyz was presenting problem, significant progress has been made with xyz, I'm thinking of wrapping it up, do you have any further suggestions? This gives the T the opportunity to tell you if they think there are any "blind spots" that haven't been addressed, and if there isn't another issue you want to work on, it might be time to work on termination. Also, it's common to sometimes feel worse after therapy but it shouldn't be all the time. Have you brought that up to your T? HUGS to you if you want them. Kit

[mcl6136]

It's taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that therapy is an open-ended process that can go on indefinitely.

Sometimes that makes it a very good thing but by the same token, it can become an end in itself. It can even become counterproductive BECAUSE it can become an end in itself.

I feel that it can become like Wack a Mole, where the moment that one problem is tackled and solved, another crops up to take its place and you can end up paying off a T's entire home mortgage or children's college education.

I know, because I lingered in therap(ies) long after they ceased being useful.

That doesn't mean that at some future date, I will not return to therapy. But I will have a more pragmatic approach.

Trust your gut and your heart. Do not trust the therapist who wants you to continue just because they need the cash. And don't allow yourself to skedaddle when you know you could make important progress but you're just being a weenie.

I truly believe that there is a wise part of us that knows what we need and what is the best for us.

[Salmon77]

Do you think the issues with your child might come up again? If so it might be worth continuing just so you have something in place.

On the other hand I agree that I don't see the usefulness of going just once a month, if it's bringing up stuff that's hard for you. If you want to deal with that stuff I'd think you'd need to go more often.

[Ididitmyway]

I'd stop. If the original problem has improved and you don't feel like other things that have surfaced are creating problems in your life, why continue? Only you can decide if you need any further work and it sounds like you don't feel you need it.

[Everyday12]

The issues with my kid will be on going. And yes I do need to talk to my therapist about quitting. I'm sure she isnt using me for my payment,she has a waiting list.
I have to talk to my therapist,ugh

[growlycat]

Maybe go every other month for awhile to see if the situation stays stable?

Originally Posted by Everyday12

The issues with my kid will be on going. And yes I do need to talk to my therapist about quitting. I'm sure she isnt using me for my payment,she has a waiting list.
I have to talk to my therapist,ugh

"with my child" kid sounds so dismissive of the child.

[Anne2.0]

Quitting therapy isn't a forever decision. You can always quit and then go back if you want, although if you want to go back to this person then you might have to wait.

When I left therapy the first time, I set up an appointment three months later to check in to see how I was feeling. That was useful, sort of gave me time to collect "data" on how it was working out for me. And although I don't recall much of that meeting, it was the only one I had.

I would not continue going regularly if I saw no reason for it. An alternative to decreasing frequency might be just going as needed, if the T agrees on it. I had two Ts and both were okay with that style when I wanted it. Just say that for now you don't need therapy but might want to have a session or two here and there if there is anything to discuss. I did this for a while and it was what I'd found the best fit for me. It's more like consulting than classic therapy but might be good especially for a problem like yours, where it is about managing a specific external situation. I actually don't even think it is always a good idea to continue digging in such situations on a regular basis, revisiting it excessively (when it is not needed) can often expand anxiety.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Originally Posted by Jessica11

"with my child" kid sounds so dismissive of the child.

The "child" is in her 30's so . . . meh.

[Taylor27]

I would cut back and see how that goes if that would help. Quitting does not mean forever you can always go back if need to.

[BudFox]

Personally I would not ask a therapist about stopping, I'd tell the therapist I'm stopping. Even if she has a waiting list, a long term client is a valuable asset income-wise. Conflict of interest. Probably also not gonna get the most objective feedback about stopping in a client forum like this.

Conventional thinking would have you believe we all need a therapist on retainer or something.

[Ididitmyway]

I just thought that if your next therapy session is going to be a month from now, why not just take this time to see how you feel by the end of the month? If you feel the same way or even more reluctant to continue, then, I think, it's an indication that you need to stop. I don't believe that any meaningful work can be done if the desire to do it isn't there. In that case, you don't need to discuss anything with the therapist. That'd only make you doubt yourself more and, I think, it's important to learn to trust our own capacity to make decisions for ourselves. Besides, as BudFox suggested the therapist's feedback may not be necessarily objective. One of my former supervisors said something about therapy I will never forget because it was surprisingly honest. She said that when you are in private practice you can't help but to keep the thought of each client being a source of your income on the back of your mind. That doesn't mean you only care about $$ and that doesn't mean you'd do anything to keep them coming. But it does mean that your economic needs will be influencing how you do the work and how you talk to clients, basically, whether you want it or not. She was just keeping it real , which was refreshing because no one else did that.

[Sheffield]

OP ‘s use of the word”kid” and not “my child” is perfectly reasonable for the age and for not identifying the gender

[growlycat]

I think the word “kid” is warmer and more affectionate than the distant-sounding “child”. I too thought op’s word choice was perfectly appropriate.