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Old 01-28-2019, 06:38 AM #11
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

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Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
I still don't understand how this is a screw up. Depression is a mental illness. Sometimes depression even skews our perception of things - as you seem to have noticed. I think your guilt over this has more to do with depression than anything else. I understand regretting that your psychiatrist spent time writing a report. However, the reason he did that was because you were experiencing (in my opinion) delusions related to your mental illness. That is not a "screw up" on your part.
I don't know if it depression or just myself, I am not completely sure what is true and what isn't true. I am depressed but which thoughts are from depression?
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Old 01-28-2019, 08:22 AM #12
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

I feel they only want to hurt me or even kill me
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Old 01-28-2019, 06:35 PM #13
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

Yeah, your thoughts don't sound rational at all. Have you ever had issues with psychosis or delusions? Have you explicitly told your psychiatrist that you believe they want to hurt or even kill you? Because that is a really serious symptom that is unlikely to get better on its own.
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Old 01-29-2019, 04:30 AM #14
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

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Yeah, your thoughts don't sound rational at all. Have you ever had issues with psychosis or delusions? Have you explicitly told your psychiatrist that you believe they want to hurt or even kill you? Because that is a really serious symptom that is unlikely to get better on its own.

Uh, I have had some issues with hallucinations in the past and was diagnosed with psychosis NOS. Anyway, my pdoc doesn't think I suffer from a psychotic disorder since I have a good insight.

I haven't told him I sense they want to hurt me, but I don't think it is a good idea to tell him such a thing, he will deny it and say he just wants to help me. Nobody would admit it. And it could be other him who actually wants to hurt me and not the real him. Some people are like duplicated.
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Old 02-07-2019, 05:53 PM #15
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

On monday I talked to my therapist/psychiatrist around 5 minutes, he wanted to talk longer but I didn't feel well being there (I told him). I left him two letters.

He told me he thinks I don't want to go somwhere else.

More meds.
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Old 02-07-2019, 05:58 PM #16
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

OliverB How are you feeling about taking more meds?
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Old 02-08-2019, 12:54 AM #17
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OliverB How are you feeling about taking more meds?


I don't know.

I am trying to focus on college.
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I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Old 02-15-2019, 04:55 PM #18
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

I talked to my psychiatrist. He looked, irascible, angry and frustrated even if he believed me (he said I was having a depressive episode, kinda severe). I don't understand his anger since last time he said he believed I didn't want to go somewhere else. He said if I directly said I would kill myself, He would be obligated to IP me. I told him I would rather die than being IP again, and I hate the fact that I have nowehere to go when I need help (being IP never helped me, just traumatized me).

Finnaly he told me the psych nurse was going to call another place to get an appointment with another doctor for me.


He said "see you never" when I said "Bye".....
It hurted a bit.

I guess I annoyed him, I don't know how or why.
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"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Old 02-15-2019, 05:04 PM #19
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

I'm sorry OliverB. That sounds really harsh of your PDOC. HUGS Kit
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Old 02-15-2019, 05:32 PM #20
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omg, he actually said “See you never”?! Is he 5?!?!
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