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#1
There are all sorts of sayings, quotes & platitudes we hear during our recovery processes ... Some are helpful, some are not, and some are like wtf?!? ... This thread is a place to post the ones you've heard that you simply hate, loathe and/or despise and why it is that you feel that way about them ... With that being said, I'll get it started with ...
That one about "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" really just chaps my behind ... While that statement may be true, most of us are having to eat crap sandwiches that we never even asked for in the first place, and that statement right there certainly doesn't make any of our crap filled sandwiches taste any less crappier (IMHO!) ... That is why I hate hearing that worn out recovery phrase over and over and over again! |
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Fuzzybear, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
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LonesomeTonight, MoxieDoxie, susannahsays
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Grand Magnate
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#2
"Trust the process." My T has never said this, meaning I never have had to mercilessly mock him for such foolishness. Actually my T doesn't say this or any other platitude that I've heard quoted about things therapists say. When I was in law school I hung with some clinical psychs in training and they were terrible about saying things like "I hear you" and "you seem ___ (obvious emotional state)".
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Forgetmenot07, Fuzzybear, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, susannahsays
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
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#3
Be 'gentle' to yourself
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Forgetmenot07, MoxieDoxie, susannahsays
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
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#4
"This too shall pass. "
Shove it. |
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FearLess47
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HowDoYouFeelMeow?, MoxieDoxie, susannahsays
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
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#5
"No one can make you feel anything." While true, it grated on my nerves to be reminded of it because I much rathered not have to take responsibility for my emotional responses. It was work to consciously think through my emotional reactions and process through healthier, more rational, alternative ways to responding to whatever was irking me at the time. LOL.
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susannahsays
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
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#6
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Forgetmenot07
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
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#7
"Don't take it personally."
Well, but I AM this time. And wonder -- I offered some platitudes on another thread, and, yes, it's certainly good to know they can often rub people the wrong way. But "it wasn't intentional". And, yes, that one bugs me a lot, too. |
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Leannebug, missbella, susannahsays
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Grand Poohbah
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#8
My mom actually used to tell me 'no one can make you feel anything'. It annoyed me to bits.
Thankfully my T does not seem to use any of these phrases except for some statements about being alone. But those were always more elaborate and explained how I could see having a memory of people like him in my mind would make me feel not so alone, which is for me personally very helpful. |
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healing from trauma
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#9
Everything will get better, this has been told to me numerous times. So annoying
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#10
"Inner child" makes me want to vomit.
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ArtleyWilkins, feralkittymom, Forgetmenot07, LabRat27, MoxieDoxie, Xynesthesia2
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Magnet
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#11
“Everything happens for a reason.”
F*** that. __________________ Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine) |
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SlumberKitty
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circlesincircles, HowDoYouFeelMeow?, LabRat27, susannahsays
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
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#12
I told my T that being asked to "find meaning" or "make meaning" from ****** stuff was basically ""everything happens for a reason" Lite"
Anyone telling me that "abuse" made me kind or whatever (oversimplifying here) is basically 1. giving someone/something else credit for whatever good things they see in me 2. reinforcing my own belief that my own feelings don't matter, that it's what I can do for others that matters (me being kind is a focus on what I do for others, not for myself... while it's important to me, it shouldn't be used as a silver lining to my own pain, because I already put others' wants and needs first) |
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WarmFuzzySocks
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susannahsays, WarmFuzzySocks
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underdog is here
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#13
Are these things a therapist tells you?
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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#14
I thought you meant recovery sayings as in AA or NA so I'll chime in... "Time takes time.." Well Duh....
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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FearLess47, susannahsays
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#15
Not just individual therapy (and therapists), but also in group therapy as well as inpatient/outpatient treatment centers, AA type meetings, and also by other people (in and not in recovery), and sites that deal with mental health, addiction and recovery.
Just psychobabble in general ... Another one I hate is a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt about nobody being able to make us feel inferior without our consent ... The woman must have never met a human being who's self-worth had been utterly annihilated in their childhood by the very people who were supposed to be building them up instead of breaking them down. *With apologies to @sarahsweets because I didn't realize you had already responded to this particular post before I deleted it in order to re-post it with a couple of corrections ... I needed to tweak a couple of items on the last couple of sentences to fine tune it ... Sorry! |
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#16
Self soothe.
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Veteran Member
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#17
I was also annoyed by many of the phrases used in AA, how they put them on the wall in some meetings, and how some people parrot them in conversation.
Some used in the therapy world: "It's the relationship that heals." And other crap about the sacred nature of what goes on between T and client. When therapists say something about "the room" as some higher-order dimension of space. Also "safe space". "Holding" regarding whatever the T does. "We will work through it." I never know what this means. "It is what it is." "Radical acceptance" |
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here today, susannahsays
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
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#18
"Hang in there..."
I've heard this from therapists....like, I'm trying ok, but not helpful when I'm reaching out because I'm struggling. |
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#19
Oh!, and that one about not letting our struggle to become our identity ...
WTF?!?!? How can our struggle not be a part - and sometimes all of - our identity? I think some people just don't realize how harmful these kind of statements are for those of us trying to overcome some really traumatic (mind altering) life events! |
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Fuzzybear, here today, MoxieDoxie
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#20
I think most of these platitudes arise meaning well and with an intention to help, but often in situations when people don't actually know how to help and what to say that is meaningful and appropriate. Sometimes when the helper is clueless but still wants to transmit some kind of power. I read in some therapy books that Ts would be better to "use" silence in situations where they don't know anything meaningful to say or that are obviously not things that can just be changed by thinking differently. But is silence better? They the client might think they don't care or it becomes truly obvious that they have nothing to offer. I don't know.
Another one I very much dislike from everyday life is "money does not buy happiness". A really pseudo-wise banality usually spoken by someone who is just as much part of society as anyone else. |
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Fuzzybear
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