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Old 01-25-2019, 04:21 PM #1
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Default I think I screwed it up

*I see a psychiatrist at a day hospital, it's public*

A month ago I asked my psychiatrist to be referred to somewhere else because my depressive episode got so bad I couldn't stand the feeling that everybody hate me and I shouldn't be there, I must be an useful human being and it's seems I have no right to feel like this. I have been pretending to be OK because of these feelings

I didn't told him the reason why I said I wanted to see another psychiatrist in another place (he is the only psychiatrist that works there). Today he told me he had finished the discharge report draft and wanted me to read it before sending it.

Last week I started to take my AD again and finally could sleep after a month without being able to sleep more than 3 hours (my psychiatrist didn't know it either), I wasn't thinking clearly and I thought the best was to just dissappear... Now I wonder if these feelings could be changed and, maybe, there is no need to see another psychiatrist. Today I wrote a note telling him why I asked him to see someone else.

I feel I have wasted his time, since he had already finished the report draft... The idea of saying "Oh, maybe I was wrong" makes me really ashamed, I feel still more like a ****.
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Old 01-25-2019, 05:14 PM #2
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

You said you started taking your AD again. Do you mean, you had not been taking it for some time? Do you go on and off your meds randomly? If yes, this could explain the change in your mood.
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Old 01-25-2019, 05:21 PM #3
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway View Post
You said you started taking your AD again. Do you mean, you had not been taking it for some time? Do you go on and off your meds randomly? If yes, this could explain the change in your mood.
I stopped it 6 months ago since it wasn't helping with depression, my mood kept going worse, I didn't notice any difference. I still could sleep as well as when I was taking it until november.
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Old 01-25-2019, 06:01 PM #4
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

I wonder about your mood because I have been on many and I mean many psych meds and I have never heard of the medications you are taking. If you want to sleep Invega works well but it is kind of dangerous.
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Old 01-25-2019, 06:23 PM #5
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

It sounds like the medication started to work and you were able to think differently about your situation. It might help things if you tell your PDOC when you don't take your meds because it can help them know how to help you better. I don't think you've done anything irreparable, and I hope you can stay with your PDOC if you so choose. Wishing you goodness, and sending you HUGS Kit
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Old 01-25-2019, 06:35 PM #6
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
I wonder about your mood because I have been on many and I mean many psych meds and I have never heard of the medications you are taking. If you want to sleep Invega works well but it is kind of dangerous.

Tianeptine is a rare AD that works different from the rest, actually it is not known how it works and therefore, it is not approved in many countries. Its chemical structure is tricyclic but it doesn't act like a tricyclic AD. In france it has been used since 80s. Where I live it was approved around 5 years ago.

Nortriptyline is a tricyclic AD, an old one, the active metabolite of amitriptyline. It is well known. Less sedating than most of tricyclic AD.

I cannot take most of AD and AP since I am a really poor CYP2D6 metabolizer. Most of AD (except bupropion and tianeptine) and AP (except, as far as I remember, clozapine and amisulpride that is easily excreted through urine without being metabolized) are cleared from the body mainly through that enzyme in the liver and then excreted through urine.
I have tried a lot of SSRI, SNRI and AP and I always ended up intoxicated.
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Old 01-26-2019, 04:36 PM #7
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

My pdoc knew I had stopped my AD and he agreed with it
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Old 01-26-2019, 08:38 PM #8
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

Quote:
Originally Posted by OliverB View Post
My pdoc knew I had stopped my AD and he agreed with it
Then I am confused by why you think you screwed up. I was assuming you felt that way because you had unilaterally and secretly stopped taking your AD, become dysregulated as a result, and requested transfer. But I don't understand how it's a screw up for you and your psychiatrist to agree on a med change that doesn't end up working out. Don't beat yourself up about this.
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Old 01-27-2019, 02:55 AM #9
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

Quote:
Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
Then I am confused by why you think you screwed up. I was assuming you felt that way because you had unilaterally and secretly stopped taking your AD, become dysregulated as a result, and requested transfer. But I don't understand how it's a screw up for you and your psychiatrist to agree on a med change that doesn't end up working out. Don't beat yourself up about this.
The med change didn't make the depression worse, it was already worsening when I was taking it.

Taking it again made me sleep better and think more clearly, but i don't feel ok.
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Old 01-27-2019, 04:16 PM #10
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Default Re: I think I screwed it up

I still don't understand how this is a screw up. Depression is a mental illness. Sometimes depression even skews our perception of things - as you seem to have noticed. I think your guilt over this has more to do with depression than anything else. I understand regretting that your psychiatrist spent time writing a report. However, the reason he did that was because you were experiencing (in my opinion) delusions related to your mental illness. That is not a "screw up" on your part.
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