Does your T say your name?

BudFox · Feb 04, 2019 at 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

I think using names when there are only two people in the conversation is not necessarily necessary . . .

It's standard social and business protocol to address someone by name when greeting them, or when saying goodbye, at least some of the time. Especially in a relationship where trust and openness are expected.

Most of the therapists I saw did this rarely or never.

The one I saw the longest and with whom I shared the most intimacies rarely ever said my name.

In my experience, therapists tend to be socially inept, and their training and countless hours of clinical isolation have turned them into hopeless weirdos.

starfishing · Feb 05, 2019 at 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BudFox

It's standard social and business protocol to address someone by name when greeting them, or when saying goodbye, at least some of the time. Especially in a relationship where trust and openness are expected.

Most of the therapists I saw did this rarely or never.

The one I saw the longest and with whom I shared the most intimacies rarely ever said my name.

In my experience, therapists tend to be socially inept, and their training and countless hours of clinical isolation have turned them into hopeless weirdos.

Perhaps standard in your social and business milieus, but not in mine. It's not like it never happens, but it's rare in my one on one interactions most of the time.

Lefty Seven · Feb 05, 2019 at 02:34 AM

My T only says my name when he's calling the cops.

JaneTennison1 · Feb 05, 2019 at 03:44 AM

Not usually but sometimes if I dissociate

ArtleyWilkins · Feb 05, 2019 at 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BudFox

It's standard social and business protocol to address someone by name when greeting them, or when saying goodbye, at least some of the time. Especially in a relationship where trust and openness are expected.

Most of the therapists I saw did this rarely or never.

The one I saw the longest and with whom I shared the most intimacies rarely ever said my name.

In my experience, therapists tend to be socially inept, and their training and countless hours of clinical isolation have turned them into hopeless weirdos.

Hmm. In my experience, therapists are actually quite socially skilled, active in their personal lives, and not odd at all (and yes, I know them beyond the therapy room). See how that works? Different people have different experiences and they can actually both be correct.

kaleidoscopeheart · Feb 05, 2019 at 05:31 AM

T says my name often. Usually as a greeting or at the end of the session but always when I disassociate or when T wants to drive a point home. Early in my relationship with T, I was called the wrong name. It was similar sounding and I have a unique name so it's something that happens often in my life but that nearly ended things right there because it was suuuuper awkward. I finally brought it up 2 years later.... #progress

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019 at 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BudFox

It's standard social and business protocol to address someone by name when greeting them, or when saying goodbye, at least some of the time. Especially in a relationship where trust and openness are expected.

Most of the therapists I saw did this rarely or never.

The one I saw the longest and with whom I shared the most intimacies rarely ever said my name.

In my experience, therapists tend to be socially inept, and their training and countless hours of clinical isolation have turned them into hopeless weirdos.

I think I misunderstood your first response. I thought you meant that using names was manipulative.

Patientgirl · Feb 05, 2019 at 01:28 PM

He called me by name for the first time in 5 years in the last session and I loved it.

Salmon77 · Feb 05, 2019 at 01:57 PM

My T greets me and says goodbye to me in the waiting area or with his office door open, so it would be breaking confidentiality to say my name there.

Mine doesn’t use my name much, I rarely use his either. Two-person conversation, as others have said.

elisewin · Feb 05, 2019 at 02:27 PM

Yes she uses my name exactly like anyone who knows me and talks to me.

Feb 05, 2019 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elisewin

Yes she uses my name exactly like anyone who knows me and talks to me.

Mine too! With exasperation and disbelief.

elisewin · Feb 05, 2019 at 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryOozit

Mine too! With exasperation and disbelief.

What I wrote kind of called for that, I admit

BudFox · Feb 05, 2019 at 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

I think I misunderstood your first response. I thought you meant that using names was manipulative.

I'm saying that NOT using the client's name is manipulative. Or just plain weird. It's also distancing, which is antithetical to intimate disclosure.

When I visit my dentist, we greet each other by name and shake hands. When I visited therapists it was just awkward and bizarre start to finish.

susannahsays · Feb 05, 2019 at 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryOozit

Mine too! With exasperation and disbelief.

In my case, it's usually dismay or disapproval.

Oh, or disappointment. The 3 Ds.

annielovesbacon · Feb 05, 2019 at 11:52 PM

She does occasionally, and it is generally a signal that she is about to say something very serious or something she really needs me to hear. It's just the two of us in the room, so there really isn't a need to say each other's names. I've never said hers (to her). She only says mine when she wants to emphasize a point.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Does your T say your name?

My Support Forums

Lefty Seven Account Suspended Member Since Nov 2018 Location: Hawaii Posts: 209 5 17 hugs given	Feb 05, 2019 at 02:34 AM #43 My T only says my name when he's calling the cops.
	Reply With Quote

JaneTennison1 Magnate Member Since Aug 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,202 9 121 hugs given	Feb 05, 2019 at 03:44 AM #44 Not usually but sometimes if I dissociate
	Reply With Quote

Patientgirl Member Member Since Feb 2016 Location: Far far away Posts: 27 8 53 hugs given	Feb 05, 2019 at 01:28 PM #48 He called me by name for the first time in 5 years in the last session and I loved it.
	Reply With Quote

Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Feb 05, 2019 at 01:57 PM #49 My T greets me and says goodbye to me in the waiting area or with his office door open, so it would be breaking confidentiality to say my name there. Mine doesn’t use my name much, I rarely use his either. Two-person conversation, as others have said.
	Reply With Quote

elisewin Veteran Member Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 507 6 89 hugs given	Feb 05, 2019 at 02:27 PM #50 Yes she uses my name exactly like anyone who knows me and talks to me.
	Reply With Quote