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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,332
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#1
Maybe it’s a psychodynamic/psychoanalytic thing, but I’ve been seeing my T for 17 months and he never says my name. Or maybe it’s because there are only 2 of us in the room and there’s no real need to say each other’s names, but it’s a little odd that he never says it, isn’t it? Do you think it’s psychoanalytic thing to avoid saying it? Does your T says your name? I think it might be nice to occasionally hear it.
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
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#2
My T was pychodynamically oriented, and he said my name all the time.
Even after he died, I heard him say my name once. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
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#3
Not often but on occasion, usually if he was joking with me and referring to me in that sense.
Sometimes in texts, always in emails... but rarely in person, we had nicknames for each other and if we called each other anything, it was usually that __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#4
If my T uses my name in text, I know that generally, he is not happy with me (The last two times he used my name in text he said "XX we've talked about this already"). He always uses it in email; he starts with "Hi XX". Rarely in person. He doesn't even call my name when he does attendance in class. I'll always say when he's done "XX is here too" and he says "I don't call it because I know you".
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Magnet
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: in the garden
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#5
Rarely, because we are the only two in the room, but sometimes in the course of conversation, like "I wonder, (Name), whether blah blah blah..." I tend to do the same, use her name rarely/occasionally in that same way as we're talking.
I'd say that it occurs about as often as it does in regular ongoing conversations with people outside therapy. __________________ Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine) |
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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
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#6
Yes he does say my name.. usually when trying to drive a point home or we are having more of a serious conversation.
__________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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LostOnTheTrail
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
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#7
yeah, usually when i am too silent or seem upset, she will ask me what is going on.
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,730
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#8
The woman used it all the time. I think it was to remind her who I was because I was pretty clear on who was who. With only two people in the room, I could usually figure out to whom she was speaking.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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LabRat27, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
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#9
Most of the therapists I saw rarely said my name. It's manipulative and possibly a means for establishing hierarchy. Just another way therapist behavior tends toward sociopathy in my opinion.
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,754
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#10
Mine often says my name. Sometimes, reacting to something I say, like, "Goodness, LT." Other times talking about me using my filter on what others same to me, the "LT filter." And he's referred to "Little LT" before. (I mean, of course, all of this is with my first name, not LT!)
Last edited by LonesomeTonight; Feb 03, 2019 at 09:47 PM.. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 916
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#11
My T will usually only say my name if he thinks I am dissociating or he uses my full name when referring to my DID collective.
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Member
Member Since Aug 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 244
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#12
Yes either to address me or ask what I would say to he younger version of me.
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...............
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: in my head
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#13
Rarely. One time she used it to bring me back to the room. I think it's more that we are the only 2 people in the room. I rarely use her's - pretty much only use it when I talk about her based on how I have split her - Dr. S, First Name, and Mommy.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
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#14
If shes irritated
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Member
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 96
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#15
Quote:
Agreed. Must be some kind of boundary violation to give validation to you as a fellow human, y'know, with a name. |
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BudFox
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
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#16
Mine rarely does. Only did once that I can remember, and that was when she was angry at me. It gave me chills.
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 466
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#17
Only in emails and voicemails. I think that's been true of just about every therapist I've ever seen though, just by virtue of there only being two people in the conversation.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
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#18
Yes, she says it pretty frequently. Probably at least 3x per session. Once to confirm I am me, at least once while we're talking, and once when she says goodbye. Oh, and she is psychodynamic, so I don't think it's about modality.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
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#19
I think it's a personal thing rather than a therapist thing. Some people in daily life like to address people by name, even if you are the only two people there, and some people don't. I bet the therapists who use people's names IN therapy are also name callers in every day life.
My T says the body name all the time. We have asked her not to but she can't seem to help herself. |
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Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 303
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#20
Yes, probably once a session on average. It always calls my attention to whatever she says next. I agree that it's a personal, rather than a therapy modality thing.
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