Being brave about therapist exploitation - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-11-2019, 05:29 PM #11
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,010
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
here today has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,010

5 yr Member
1,070 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

My feelings of sadness are my feelings. It's not about whether you, or anyone else, needs them or not.

I feel sad that this community may not be a place for lots of folks, including me sometimes, to talk about our inner experience. I have looked for connection here, and found it sometimes, and idealistically (my bad!) I wish that others felt more supported here, if that's what they want.

I don't think I have any judgment about the way anybody else uses the forum, though. I'm OK that it's my idealism and others may not share that. If that comes off as judgmental, then thank you for telling me that, because that definitely is not something that I want.
here today is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 02-11-2019, 05:31 PM #12
mcl6136's Avatar
mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,079
mcl6136 mcl6136 is offline
Magnate
mcl6136's Avatar
mcl6136 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,079

5 yr Member
81 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackocean View Post
I think it’s the same with sexual exploitation of students by teachers/professors. It happens to a lot of people but there isn’t any organized community
I think this is a very good parallel. I work in a University setting (staff, not professor) and there is a huge amount of sexual exploitation of students. Male professors, and I suspect a few female professors as well. It happens a LOT and the wreckage that selfish professors leave behind is enormous. I was saddened to learn that a good friend of mine (female professor) recently asked some of her students to help her with something, and they kind of dropped the ball on the task and her response was to curse them out -- I could NOT BELIEVE what she said to them -- she freely admitted saying these vile things, knowing full well that she can never be fired because she has tenure and they're simply not going to get rid of her.

The power imbalance is huge and these students are in a learning setting and there are just so many parallels with toxic therapy.
mcl6136 is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-11-2019, 05:38 PM #13
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071

5 yr Member
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
My feelings of sadness are my feelings. It's not about whether you, or anyone else, needs them or not.

I feel sad that this community may not be a place for lots of folks, including me sometimes, to talk about our inner experience. I have looked for connection here, and found it sometimes, and idealistically (my bad!) I wish that others felt more supported here, if that's what they want.

I don't think I have any judgment about the way anybody else uses the forum, though. I'm OK that it's my idealism and others may not share that. If that comes off as judgmental, then thank you for telling me that, because that definitely is not something that I want.
Ok, thanks for clarification. When you say you feel sad that this community may not be a place for lot of folks to talk about their inner experiences that sounds different from when you say that you feel sad when people don't feel comfortable talking about their experiences with no clarification. That doesn't sound like a judgment.

And, yeah, I am, probably, a bit more cynical (or realistic?) in my perceptions of public forums in general and this one in particular. But again, I am fine with those perceptions and also with the fact that others may not share them
__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-11-2019, 05:58 PM #14
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 538
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi has awakened
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 538

5 yr Member
871 hugs
given
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by SorryOozit View Post
Sadly, I don't consider this forum a safe environment to discuss my experience.
i don't either...

i have shared some aspects here, but only two people know the full story and extent of what happened in my therapy and with my therapist and the after effects of it...my husband and a very dear online friend who i met on another support forum who also had a similar experince with her ex-T.
koru_kiwi is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-11-2019, 06:10 PM #15
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 538
koru_kiwi koru_kiwi is offline
Veteran Member
koru_kiwi's Avatar
koru_kiwi has awakened
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 538

5 yr Member
871 hugs
given
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
My experience with just plain old therapist trauma -- realizing I'd been duped by the whole establishment -- leaves me feeling alone. I think that's one of the things about interpersonal trauma in general -- that you were hurt and no one helped. It's still a very scary, lonely feeling for me that that happened. For so long, and that I let it happen, and the people who I was looking to for "help" didn't.
yeah, this...exactly

i don't think i ever felt more alone as the time while i was trying to get my head around what was happening to me while in therapy with my ex-T. fortunately, i was brave enough to reach out to my husband for his support and he was very understanding and sympathetic of my situation, he wanted nothing more than to help. otherwise, without his help and support, i don't think i would have made it through. i definilty knew i was not going to put my trust into another T to help me through it.
koru_kiwi is offline  
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-11-2019, 06:23 PM #16
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071

5 yr Member
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
i don't either...

i have shared some aspects here, but only two people know the full story and extent of what happened in my therapy and with my therapist and the after effects of it...my husband and a very dear online friend who i met on another support forum who also had a similar experince with her ex-T.
As for me, I only felt safe discussing my experiences more or less fully via private email communications, not even forum private messaging.

Quite a few people have found me online when they searched for info on professional exploitation and talked to me privately about their experiences. They told me they wouldn't even consider hanging out on forums.

I wouldn't consider it either if I were a lay person, who had gone through this therapy ordeal. If I were someone, who has never invested in the professional training and education, frankly, I'd be doing my healing differently. I would try to connect with other survivors initially to get some support and validation, but, I doubt, I'd be hanging out with them in groups and on forums for a long time.
I'd try to learn from the experience, let it be a part of who I've become as a result, embrace the new me and then close this chapter and move on with my life along with the lessons I've learned. I'd continue doing my personal work and continue to grow, but not through therapy. There are many ways of doing it.

In fact, I know some people who have done just that and, frankly, I am jealous of them. But, may be I don't have to be stuck where I am either..May be I can also choose to do what they did, because it's a choice after all..Or may be I am already doing it in some way..I am trying to figure this out for myself..
__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-11-2019, 06:29 PM #17
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071

5 yr Member
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post
yeah, this...exactly

i don't think i ever felt more alone as the time while i was trying to get my head around what was happening to me while in therapy with my ex-T. fortunately, i was brave enough to reach out to my husband for his support and he was very understanding and sympathetic of my situation, he wanted nothing more than to help. otherwise, without his help and support, i don't think i would have made it through. i definilty knew i was not going to put my trust into another T to help me through it.
Just echoing this.

My husband was just as supportive. Without his help and support primarily I wouldn't have made it. Then, there was a valuable initial support and help from AdvocateWeb and TELL. Theirs was just the right type of help at the right time. Then there was a long, painful road to healing, which still continues..I've gone a long way though..
__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline  
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 02-12-2019, 02:25 AM #18
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,810
missbella missbella is offline
Grand Poohbah
missbella has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2010
Location: here
Posts: 1,810

8 yr Member
781 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Topiarysurvivor View Post
I have never found another person who was lured into a “relationship” with her therapist, and who ended up living with her.

Am I really alone?
People have found the Therapy Exploitation Link Line helpful. In addition to reading and resources, they will correspond with you.

TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line

Another resource site.
Surviving Therapist Abuse – Resources and Support for Healing

Though I haven’t read an account of your situation specifically, I’ve read many variations of therapists exploitation, unfortunately. The book Therapist by Ellen Plasil recounts financial exploitation and a semi cult in addition to sexual exploitation.

Last edited by missbella; 02-12-2019 at 02:44 AM.
missbella is offline  
Old 02-12-2019, 07:20 PM #19
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous precaryous is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: looking for space
Posts: 3,581
precaryous precaryous is offline
Grand Magnate
precaryous's Avatar
precaryous has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: looking for space
Posts: 3,581

5 yr Member
7,427 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

I ‘knew’ an online acquaintance years ago who married her therapist and had a child together. At that point in their lives, the acquaintance was in the process of divorcing her husband and their daughter was having mh issues in college.

I was also inpatient with a woman who had two daughters by her priest. Don’t know if I ever knew if he left the priesthood to marry her.
precaryous is offline  
Old 02-12-2019, 07:27 PM #20
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071
Ididitmyway Ididitmyway is offline
Magnate
Ididitmyway's Avatar
Ididitmyway has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,071

5 yr Member
128 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Being brave about therapist exploitation

Quote:
Originally Posted by precaryous View Post
I ‘knew’ an online acquaintance years ago who married her therapist and had a child together. At that point in their lives, the acquaintance was in the process of divorcing her husband and their daughter was having mh issues in college.

I was also inpatient with a woman who had two daughters by her priest. Don’t know if I ever knew if he left the priesthood to marry her.
I would love to hear their stories from them, as a first hand account. I'd have lots of questions. I think, if people like them were willing to write a book about how they married their therapists with the whole back story and the today's experience, it'd be enormously valuable for many of us to learn more about the dynamics of what can happen in therapy relationships.
__________________
www.therapyconsumerguide.com

Bernie Sanders/Tulsi Gabbard 2020
Ididitmyway is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.