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Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Bakersfield
Posts: 49
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#1
My therapist asked me what I imagine would be comforting to me when I'm hurting. That's a foreign word to me so I'm not sure. He has sat with me while I was crying a couple of times and put his arm around my shoulders, that seemed comforting. I have major grieving to do and he has emphasized the need for soothing and to think about what would be comforting to me. It's still so new to me. Would any of you mind describing your most comforting moments with somebody? Doesn't have to be from therapist.
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DP_2017, Lemoncake
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#2
Therapisr has held me while i cried many times.
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HD7970GHZ
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growlycat, Nik87
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
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#3
I think it's ok to ask for what you want or need from them but be aware, that not all therapists will have the same comfort limits.
So... my story is.... I never cried in therapy, until 6 months in. I had alot of issues about crying in front of people. Well, during my start of therapy and that 6 month point... my beloved dog got diagnosed with cancer and it wasn't good.... we talked about what I might want from him if I did cry when my dog died.... and I had two options ... he could say something really comforting and put his hand on my shoulder, or hug me. I gave him the option when the time came, to go with what felt most comfortable to him. My dog died.... 6 months into therapy and the week after he passed, I brought in a letter I had written to him, and read it out loud to T. I broke. I just began sobbing.... without missing a beat... he came right over and said "Come here" and just hugged me, for about 5 minutes. He talked calmly to me during that time and waited for me to let go. It was not only the most comforting moment of my life... that I can remember but my most healing moment in therapy. I always wished it could have happened again but it never did. I mean we hugged and I cried other times but it was never anything like that. In fact, in my final sessions when I cried tons, he just sat there quietly. I wasn't bothered by it, it felt like an ok reaction then. So I was able to get what I needed, when I needed it Be sure to be honest and maybe give them options and grief sucks, I'm sorry you are going through it. Here's a cyber hug for you <> __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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growlycat, LonesomeTonight, Nik87
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Canada
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#4
During a particularly dark stretch of time, I’d sometimes sit on the floor, wrapped inside myself. One day, she sat down next to me - without asking or anything. I was surprised at how comforting that was.
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Nik87
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#5
There isn't a stand alone moment I can think off.
Just thinking of a time I've been upset and T being there with me is the memory. Many times become one. |
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Nik87
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#6
Most times just his presence is comforting. He doesn’t have to say anything.
If I’m not at therapy, my bed is my comfort zone. It is heated and my cat and pig join me and we all snuggle. It’s the safest place in my world. |
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Nik87
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Therapy Ninja
Member Since Jan 2007
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#7
There are many moments with a few therapists, but being held when I cried stands out as being the most comforting and healing
Last edited by growlycat; Feb 12, 2019 at 12:19 AM.. |
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Nik87
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Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
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#8
I yearn to be held by my T while I cry. I’ve always yearned for this.
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growlycat, HD7970GHZ
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Anonymous45127, Nik87
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
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#9
Most of my memories of comfort are more just a feeling of having my T around while I'm not doing well than a specific thing he did.
Other than that, I really found it comforting how my partner treated me one time when I lost a good friend. He went to the store and bought lots of food I like and sat with me, held me while I cried and watched a movie with me. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
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#10
There was a time when I was ragging on myself as a mother, and I asked him why he wasn't reacting to what I said. He said he was reacting, it just wasn't the reaction I wanted. I realized he wasn't going to collude in my negative beliefs about myself; that he wasn't going to try to talk me out of what I believed, or argue with me about what the real truth was, or even point out things that suggested the opposite, or give me a bunch of compliments to try to change my mind. There was NO COLLUSION.
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LonesomeTonight
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
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#11
I don't think I have ever found anything to do with a therapist comforting.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Nik87
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
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#12
I am drawing a blank. Generally, I find time spent with my dog to be the most comforting thing in life.
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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#13
There have been many comforting moments with t. Most recently was last week when after an extremely uncomfortable discussion about my feelings for her she still hugged me before I left. I hadn't really expected it.
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growlycat, Nik87
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
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#14
My most comforting moment in healthcare:
I was in Psych-Emerg and super regressed. I was in fight and flight mode - scared of the healthcare system but also needing help. A psychiatrist had a lengthy conversation with me about my regression, my teddy bears. She was nurturing and motherly; the kind of feelings I needed to feel safe in that moment. After this, she got up, walked out of the room and grabbed a warm blanket. Normally they will just hand it to me but this Psychiatrist wrapped the blanket around me. It was so comforting. That little bit of humanity goes a looooong way with trauma. I hold onto those little experienced as indicators that humans are capable of good things. A therapist hugged me once and could have been healing but she was quick to let go and left me feeling alone. I needed a real embrace to reflect our bond. Unfortunately she wasn't willing to do that and it wound up hurting me. Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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growlycat, Nik87
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#15
In therapy, I guess it is feeling connected to my former T, just being listened to and being understood. She hugged me too sometimes and that was comforting, but just her, her voice, was comforting.
Outside of therapy, I don't know...there's a few. Sitting with my cat on my lap, or laying in my bed with my cat laying on my arm and my other kitty in bed with us too. Or just sitting there with someone's arm around me. Being hugged by a few people at Church. Those sorts of things. Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Nik87
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