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Default Feb 14, 2019 at 10:41 PM
  #1
I'm trying to think how to spend my last session with T before her leave. I don't want to do anything like playing games, but I don't want to feel like I've wasted my time with her. I also don't want to cry. I just don't know what I should do.

How have you spent the last session with a T before a leave, vacation, termination, etc.? Did you do or talk about anything special/specific?

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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 12:53 AM
  #2
Once I was leaving a therapist because I was moving, and we spent the last session reviewing my progress. We also shared a few impressions of various moments we had had along the way- like our perceptions of difficult times, things that had helped, some general thoughts about what the therapy had been like for both of us.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 01:44 AM
  #3
If think trying to hard to find a way of spending time together would end up feeling a waste anyway. Turning up and letting whatever happens between you both happen, is the more rich way to be with someone.

Last edited by Anonymous59356; Feb 15, 2019 at 02:31 AM..
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 03:06 AM
  #4
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Originally Posted by Pennster View Post
Once I was leaving a therapist because I was moving, and we spent the last session reviewing my progress. We also shared a few impressions of various moments we had had along the way- like our perceptions of difficult times, things that had helped, some general thoughts about what the therapy had been like for both of us.
That sounds nice. Just reviewing our relationship.

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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 03:12 AM
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If think trying to hard to find a way of spending time together would end up feeling a waste anyway. Turning up and letting whatever happens between you both happen, is the more rich way to be with someone.
Yes, but this is therapy where the relationship is unique unto itself. My T is a blank slate T (for the most part), and she never starts the conversation. She makes me choose the direction and then she'll lead us through the conversation. If I don't come up with something, we'll sit in silence. So having an idea about what I want to talk about is important and necessary. I'm not saying that I want to control the whole session. I just want my time with her to be valuable. We'll it's always valuable, but special in a way.

You know, maybe I'll just talk to her about what we should do for the last session. Maybe she has some ideas as well.

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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 05:23 AM
  #6
If T is on vacation, I find I tend we to keep the conversation lighter. We still do some therapy work just not the intensely emotional stuff. We usually also theme to have more general non therapy conversations.

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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 05:30 AM
  #7
My T goes away every year for four months.

Usually we spend several sessions winding down and coming up with a plan for while he's away. Our last session isn't anything heavy, but I'm still paying for it so I don't want to waste it, so we do more just wrap-up work and make sure I'm in as good a place as I can be. Last year was hard because I'd just been released from the hospital two weeks prior, and then he left. I'm hoping this year will be easier.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 09:43 AM
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If T is on vacation, I find I tend we to keep the conversation lighter. We still do some therapy work just not the intensely emotional stuff. We usually also theme to have more general non therapy conversations.

Yep, I tried (and mainly succeeded) in doing the same in session yesterday, as my T will be away next week. We kept things lighter, and it felt more about the connection (some joking around, etc.). We did discuss a bit about what I could do during the next week to make things easier, like self-care (yoga, walking, meditation, etc.), support system, etc. And T reassured me that it's fine if I do end up emailing while he's away, so it helped to hear that. I brought up one thing that could have potentially caused a therapeutic relationship issue, depending on his answer, and he was like, "Are you sure you want to discuss this topic?" But it was an easy answer and the one I was hoping for, so it was fine. And I did talk a bit about how his going away was hard for me, and he seemed to really understand and "get it" this time, unlike the first time he went away a year ago (he's had other trips in between, but they've been shorter ones). It helped that he understood. I told him near the end that I had wanted to avoid really intense topics, and he said (semi-jokingly), "You didn't want to leave with a big ball of trauma to deal with over the next week?"


I think the mix of mostly light topics, coping strategies, and a bit of reassurance was a good one. So maybe consider that, Scarlet?
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 11:11 AM
  #9
My T will be gone next week. He tries to keep the last session before he's gone a bit lighter as well each time. Today I even started talking about some heavier stuff and he redirected it to more casual stuff. It helps a lot since I won't think as much about it when he's gone.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 11:43 AM
  #10
I find sitting in silence together for a time is helpful, helps to share the emotion, said sometimes talking is a distraction from the emotion. My T gave me a plant.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 01:44 PM
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Usually I would spend some time with former T talking about how I was going to miss her and going over my coping skills while she was away. I'd give her her going away card that I made and usually I would have her wait to open it until she was gone that way I felt like I was carried with her. If I wanted something special like a voicemail from her I would discuss it then. Then we would just talk about how things had been going lately and how much progress I had made. It helped me feel more hopeful about things. Good luck. HUGS Kit

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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 11:27 PM
  #12
Okay. Back to this thread. T told me today to plan out what I want to talk about for our last session. I'm still stumped. I know I want encouragement and reassurance. I don't want to cry (though I might), and I don't want to deal with my current issues in life. Not going to play games or throw a party (she even said no the the later when I brought up we're going to miss our anniversary). Going over coping skills is good. She said she'd cut the session short if I wanted to, but I told her that would make me feel like I missed my time with her.

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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 12:24 AM
  #13
When my T will be gone the session before he leaves we identify external supports and then spend the session building up my internal supports. Last time it meant looking at my strengths, looking at what my most supportive mentor would say my strengths were and what God would say my strengths were... that is after he got really squirrelly wondering if I would be offended or upset by the word God. It seemed to work.

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