The wait...

Text from T:
... I am in Barts now, turns out I contracted a virus that nearly killed me and has damaged my heart muscle so I doubt I’ll even be out of here anytime soon. I don’t want to leave you without any support - so it’s up to you but I have an amazing couple of colleagues who would love to work with you if you wanted to see someone else until we know more? I may well be back at work soon but if not the offer is there for some lovely ladies to step in. So sorry to mess you around. The minute I’m back on track you will be the first to know.
Let me know what you think?

Grr mostly because I have created a document for her to read during our next session where I finally open up to let her in a little deeper. Where I am pretty close to the most honest I’ve ever been. (Of course, also scary to hear she could have lost her life)

No way am I seeing anyone else. What’s the best way to respond, to ensure I hope her well and that I’ll be fine without seeing anyone else?
How do I also get through waiting for the unknown? 😤

I am so sorry Dark. Sadly, there a few others going through the similar experience. Do you think T would would be open to keeping you updated on how she is doing? When I received an email regarding Ts fall I responded with. Thank 6ou for letting me know. It sounds horrible. I will be praying for you and the family and for her recovery. Can you occasionally keep me updated on her progress?

I wonder if you sent her something simular and tell her for the time being you want to refrain from seeing anybody else. Could you keep you somewhat updated on her progress or plans for seeing clients as she knows??

I’m sure she’ll be fine with keeping me updated as often as she can, but I personally wouldn’t want to ask and put the added pressure on her. I would rather she rest.

More importantly, my mind is now playing games with me - what if this is her way of terminating me by suggesting colleagues who may be more up for dealing with my ****?

Jesus. Have you read the text. Ffs. Hope the woman's OK.

With the behaviour you so often present on here, I too hope your T, and everyone in your life for that matter, is ok.

Highly unlikely this is the result of a T trying to pass you to someone else.

But why foreclose your options without even exploring them? Perhaps your recent breakthrough is *shocked gasp* due to you, and has little to nothing to do with the T?

I'd encourage you to take the names, give them a call, see if you want to move forward to the next stage and meet with one or more of them.

When I switched T's 2 years into it, for a boring and non traumatic reason, I thought I'd have to do all this backstory, but I didn't. I just went and said "this is where I am and this is what I'd like to work on." I see no reason why you can't hand the document off to a new person and take it from there. Could be a fun experiment to see how it feels with a different T. Even though I've seen my current T for a decade, save a session with a consulting T and a few sessions when he was out on sick leave for a few months, I think (hard to know what you'd do until you are there) the minute he retires, I'm signing up another one, assuming I still want therapy at the time. Even now, I would definitely miss him if I couldn't see him any more, but I think the world of T's is wide and finding more than one that is useful to work with is pretty likely. Especially if she, like your current T, knows them and is making a specific recommendation.

This is me, but I wouldn't put my progress on hold to wait for a sick T, if I could find someone else I wanted to work with. I don't have intense transference issues, but I do think T's like doctors are pretty interchangeable. And I've enjoyed and benefitted from seeing other T's when mine was out. Popped me out of my familiar zone and allowed me to look at things more deeply.

The womans hearts has been damaged and theres no concern for her? and you question my behaviour.

I really doubt she contracted a terrible virus and nearly killed herself just to get rid of you. Shes tryng to show you how much she cares by getting you taken care of. while shes sick.

I could write paragraphs expressing my deep concerns about my T and have everyone tell me to hang in there, or I could ask for more direct and useful advice about how to deal with a situation. Choosing the latter doesn’t diminish the first.

“My mind is playing with me”

Now that's a better reply, isn't it.

I'll get you lot in shape soon.

... said the lonely child, as she curled up in bed desperately longing for someone to care, just a little.

You do have a heart.