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Old 02-16-2019, 11:52 AM #1
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Heart Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Hi Everyone -

I took a bit of a break from these boards over the last few months as I’ve been recovering from a traumatic therapy relationship and termination.

I started this thread because I wanted to let everyone know that there is hope and a path to recovery after therapy trauma.

As some background, I quit an extremely damaging therapy relationship 8 months ago, despite being obsessively attached and dependent on my therapist. Quitting was the most mentally destabilizing and destructive experience in my life - with a pain unmatched by even my traumatic childhood. Simply, it felt like death.

I didn’t jump into another therapy relationship right away, but took time to figure out who I was, what went wrong and developed a solid picture of the type of person I wanted to become (strong, healthy, independent and stable). I realized how much of my ideal self bad therapy blocked and robbed from me. Every day after termination I worked hard to develop my own internal resources - at first, just by getting up each day and living my life without my therapist.

Over many more months, I started to truly take care of myself - be it getting more sleep, eating healthier, getting enough exercise, meeting people and figuring out what I liked to do and doing it. I did this every day, no matter how hard it felt. After 8 months, I still carry on with a very solid self-care routine because it helps me.

In the most current phase, I am actively getting Chinese acupuncture and EMDR to treat the therapy trauma. Both appear to be helping. Finding an EMDR therapist was the most challenging since it required re-entering the therapy world (which I had previously sworn off). However, I am realizing that there are many types of therapy and not all require being ‘good enough mothered’ and engaging in what I see to be potentially dangerous attachment work.

Anyway, my life right now feels normal - which I couldn’t have visualized when my world came crashing down after therapy ended. I still have emotional flashbacks and periods of intense grief, but I am hoping the trauma treatments I am engaging in will help diminish this last remaining painful part.

More than anything, I want to let anyone out there struggling post-termination know that you are not alone and that recovery is possible. Also, if you are in a dysfunctional therapy relationship please seek whatever help you can to get out. We all deserve better.
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Old 02-16-2019, 03:45 PM #2
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Thank you for sharing this. I hope you are doing better.

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Old 02-16-2019, 03:47 PM #3
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Glad you have found some ways to heal and start over. Best of luck to your continued success in the future.
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Old 02-17-2019, 12:08 AM #4
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

glad to see you on the other side

thanks for coming back and giving us an encouraging and positive update.
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Old 02-17-2019, 12:30 PM #5
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Thanks everyone! It’s still a work in progress but nowhere near as painful as immediately after termination.
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Old 02-17-2019, 01:39 PM #6
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Thank you for sharing this. You are not alone. You are so very strong.
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Old 04-04-2019, 09:37 AM #7
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If you're still around, OP, I'd love to hear an update.

Hope things are still going well.
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Old 04-04-2019, 10:18 AM #8
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

despite being obsessively attached and dependent on my therapist. Quitting was the most mentally destabilizing and destructive experience in my life - with a pain unmatched by even my traumatic childhood. Simply, it felt like death.

Jesus.......this is how I felt today when I thought I would not be able to see my T anymore. OMG what does that say? I am screwed.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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Old 04-04-2019, 10:19 AM #9
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

You should start an online group to help others "escape" therapy.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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Old 04-05-2019, 08:23 AM #10
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Default Re: Therapy Trauma, Healing and Starting Over

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie View Post
You should start an online group to help others "escape" therapy.
I'm not a therapy fan. I think it would have been great if somebody or some group could have helped me escape much sooner than I did.

But. . .haven't you said that you were doing much worse in terms of self-harm before you started seeing the current T?

So -- a trade off, maybe? I think therapists need some better ways to help people but currently, they don't. And for what it is worth, this forum has helped me a lot once the therapy did end.
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