Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

lucozader · Mar 03, 2019 at 07:41 AM

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

LostOnTheTrail · Mar 03, 2019 at 11:56 AM

The Critic's being a **** today. I want to reach out, but seeing as neither of us understood why I was reaching out last time, that pretty much put me off.

piggy momma · Mar 03, 2019 at 12:28 PM

I don’t want to see you tomorrow.

junkDNA · Mar 03, 2019 at 12:52 PM

hi
hAppy birthday

Lemoncake · Mar 03, 2019 at 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SalingerEsme

That's impressive!!!

Thank you Esme. For me it was a lot but got easier, when I actually tried to stick with our new one email per week rule- we also increased the time frame of replies from 2 days to 5 and that also took a lot of the anxiety of waiting for his reply away.

Echos Myron redux · Mar 03, 2019 at 01:11 PM

Who are you again?

daisydid · Mar 03, 2019 at 02:53 PM

I have this tape playing in my head over and over from the other day. "You're my wild card, daisy. I know that you can do everything and do it well, but I'm worried about you. You're not the same person this year that I've known."

He's right, L. I'm a shell of the person I once was. I am in a situation where I should feel nothing but joy and blessings. Yet I'm crying alone, mourning the version of myself that is gone and may never come back.

Possible trigger:

I want to die. I miss cutting so much. It would help right now.

comrademoomoo · Mar 03, 2019 at 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echos Myron redux

Who are you again?

Heart thief, cruel denier. All of 'em.

DP_2017 · Mar 03, 2019 at 06:16 PM

I really hate seeing baby T. I'd rather see you. I get so depressed walking in there, so annoyed telling him things that you should know instead.

I hope your new life is worth leaving all the clients that you had.

piggy momma · Mar 03, 2019 at 06:36 PM

I have so much to tell you, but I feel like I can’t tell you any of it. I know I’ve texted some of it to you, but I don’t want to talk about it. You’re just going to get angry with me again.

Elio · Mar 03, 2019 at 08:53 PM

Thoughts of you not being safe are starting to float through my mind again. Maybe I should email. But what if it goes badly? I'm so scared that Monday will go badly.

I think I need some major time consistency and some slowing down right now.

88Butterfly88 · Mar 03, 2019 at 09:13 PM

Dear T,

Today I had issues with an acquaintance and it's stressing me out. Also, I'm still worried about my best friend. I feel I should be able to handle this stuff on my own but it's hard. Wish you were here so I could talk about it. Is it Thursday yet?

-Butterfly

velcro003 · Mar 03, 2019 at 09:52 PM

hi T. i hope you visit me on tuesday.

ElectricManatee · Mar 03, 2019 at 11:01 PM

Well, that was an unexpected ten-day break. Maybe we can get back on track just in time for the next unpleasant break. See you tomorrow? I guess?

LabRat27 · Mar 04, 2019 at 12:55 AM

I tried to look at your text from last week to make myself feel better. You say "you deserve to take care of yourself" but when I actually meet that goal I feel so icky, mentally and physically.

Mar 04, 2019 at 01:46 AM

were you saying i am wasting your time? when you said its not a good use of your time.

Echos Myron redux · Mar 04, 2019 at 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Maybe we can get back on track just in time for the next unpleasant break. See you tomorrow? I guess?

Sounds very familiar

Lemoncake · Mar 04, 2019 at 08:43 AM

Possible trigger:

I watched two separate people cry in dermatology today and did nothing but stand and observe. But I felt so sad for them. Is that how you feel with me? I cry now because I couldn't cry then.

Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself, and I know i've got a lot to be grateful for but I'm tired and overwhelmed. I don't want to study. I don't want to do anything.

I'm stupidly overwhelmed and so very ashamed. I wish I could just disappear.

nottrustin · Mar 04, 2019 at 08:53 AM

So I am suppose to try to be aware of the different emotions I have over the week and how I handle them. I really dont want to bring up how I suddenly had a huge wave of emotion over losing T or the realization of how much I like you and and scared I might be be coming attached. Those are the biggies. Can stick with feeling of sadness over hubby's godfather passing suddenly in his sleep.

junkDNA · Mar 04, 2019 at 09:29 AM

I could really use ur support

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Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

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lucozader Most Dangerous Member Since Feb 2017 Location: UK Posts: 2,920 7 7,642 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 07:41 AM #81 Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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piggy momma Poohbah Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 1,073 5 70 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 12:28 PM #83 I don’t want to see you tomorrow.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 12:52 PM #84 hi hAppy birthday __________________
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Echos Myron redux Magnate Member Since Apr 2018 Location: UK Posts: 2,160 6 1,833 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 01:11 PM #86 Who are you again?
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DP_2017 Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2017 Location: A house Posts: 4,412 6 665 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 06:16 PM #89 I really hate seeing baby T. I'd rather see you. I get so depressed walking in there, so annoyed telling him things that you should know instead. I hope your new life is worth leaving all the clients that you had. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love.
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piggy momma Poohbah Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 1,073 5 70 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 06:36 PM #90 I have so much to tell you, but I feel like I can’t tell you any of it. I know I’ve texted some of it to you, but I don’t want to talk about it. You’re just going to get angry with me again.
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Elio ............... Member Since Sep 2006 Location: in my head Posts: 2,911 17 8,779 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 08:53 PM #91 Thoughts of you not being safe are starting to float through my mind again. Maybe I should email. But what if it goes badly? I'm so scared that Monday will go badly. I think I need some major time consistency and some slowing down right now.
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88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,191 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 09:13 PM #92 Dear T, Today I had issues with an acquaintance and it's stressing me out. Also, I'm still worried about my best friend. I feel I should be able to handle this stuff on my own but it's hard. Wish you were here so I could talk about it. Is it Thursday yet? -Butterfly
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velcro003 Elder Member Since Oct 2008 Posts: 7,361 15 25 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 09:52 PM #93 hi T. i hope you visit me on tuesday.
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ElectricManatee Magnate Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 2,515 6 4,704 hugs given	Mar 03, 2019 at 11:01 PM #94 Well, that was an unexpected ten-day break. Maybe we can get back on track just in time for the next unpleasant break. See you tomorrow? I guess?
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LabRat27 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2018 Location: CA Posts: 1,009 6 2,354 hugs given	Mar 04, 2019 at 12:55 AM #95 I tried to look at your text from last week to make myself feel better. You say "you deserve to take care of yourself" but when I actually meet that goal I feel so icky, mentally and physically.
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Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 04, 2019 at 01:46 AM #96 were you saying i am wasting your time? when you said its not a good use of your time.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Mar 04, 2019 at 09:29 AM #100 I could really use ur support __________________
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