Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX - Page 51 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-25-2019, 02:52 PM #501
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

T, I adore you. I am so glad you are back for a while. Thanks for sitting next to me even though I didnít ask, thanks for standing by me with the emotions so that I didnít end up chickening out even though I didnít ask. Thanks for fixing the cards so I could laugh and smile watching you be you. Thanks for being you.
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Old 03-25-2019, 02:56 PM #502
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

T,

Iím so glad that I get the privilege of working with you. I am excited about this therapy journey with you!
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Old 03-25-2019, 03:42 PM #503
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Okay. That was a start. I need more.

Thanks to changes at work I probably could take the time for another session this week.

I donít know if I should ask you for that though.
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Old 03-25-2019, 04:17 PM #504
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

I left today feeling completely crazy and panicked and Iím pretty sure some of that was your fault
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:37 PM #505
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

I hope tomorrow doesn't go terrible. I am afraid it might.
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:53 PM #506
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Dear T,
I want to say something to you, but I'm not sure what? Hoping I can figure it out by Thursday.
Love,
LT
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Old 03-25-2019, 09:06 PM #507
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

I felt like you heard me today. I donít want to go back on meds but you finally heard me that Iím depressed and struggling. Thank you.
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Old 03-26-2019, 12:00 AM #508
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

I'm glad I get to see you tomorrow.
I'll probably do some writing tonight to share with you. The kind of thing I hand over and make you read instead of reading it myself.

Maybe this is manipulative, but I wish I knew what to write that would get a warm and compassionate and caring response from you in a way that makes me feel safe and close to you. Something I'll replay over and over in my head after. It's been a while since we've had one of those moments.
I always feel guilty, like I'm taking something I'm not supposed to have, like I have no right to feel something so personal and emotionally intimate. Like I'm somehow violating boundaries by letting myself feel so intensely.
Would you pull back if you knew? Would you be disturbed? There's a part of me that desperately wants you to tell me it's okay, you understand and that you're okay with it.
And for the millionth time I swear it's not ET.
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Old 03-26-2019, 05:06 AM #509
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

Quote:
Originally Posted by LabRat27 View Post
I always feel guilty, like I'm taking something I'm not supposed to have, like I have no right to feel something so personal and emotionally intimate. Like I'm somehow violating boundaries by letting myself feel so intensely.

Would you pull back if you knew? Would you be disturbed? There's a part of me that desperately wants you to tell me it's okay, you understand and that you're okay with it.

And for the millionth time I swear it's not ET.
Word, I have the exact same feelings about my T.
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Old 03-26-2019, 06:51 AM #510
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XXXIX

[QUOTE=LabRat27;6480897
Maybe this is manipulative, but I wish I knew what to write that would get a warm and compassionate and caring response from you in a way that makes me feel safe and close to you. Something I'll replay over and over in my head after. It's been a while since we've had one of those moments.
I always feel guilty, like I'm taking something I'm not supposed to have, like I have no right to feel something so personal and emotionally intimate. Like I'm somehow violating boundaries by letting myself feel so intensely.
Would you pull back if you knew? Would you be disturbed? There's a part of me that desperately wants you to tell me it's okay, you understand and that you're okay with it.
And for the millionth time I swear it's not ET.[/QUOTE]

Oh LabRat27, that makes me so sad. My T tries to make sure he gives me those experiences of feeling seen and connected. IMO there is nothing at all wrong with what you are wanting. My T would tell me he was sad that he could never fully fill the need because it goes way back to infancy (for me) but that he hoped he would be able to give me some of those experiences in our time together.

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Wild eyed with fear
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