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nottrustin
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Wink Mar 02, 2019 at 12:29 AM
  #61
How do I tell youI CAN'T do this?? I can't deal with the emotional rollercoaster; I want off. I don't want to be strong anymore. Please help.

I know you could easily fill my spot with somebody a lot less complicated and with better insurance. I know I have your one evening slot. Wouldn't it be nice to fill that spot with somebody who can come and go on time??

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 02:02 AM
  #62
ED TW (seriously, like including #s)
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 02:08 AM
  #63
I wish you wouldn't forget things sometimes.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 02:40 AM
  #64
I miss you. I'm all alone now.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 06:19 AM
  #65
I wish I didn’t have to bring up twice a week again. I know you’re going to say you’re too busy, but apparently I have to ask.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 10:52 AM
  #66
Dear T,
I think I'm just feeling...exposed or vulnerable or something after being so open and emotional with you yesterday. I think that's what's really behind me sending the link to the song last night, like almost a checking in. It's not an email that needs a response, especially as you've said you tend not to respond to non-urgent emails so much on the weekend. But for some stupid reason, it's like, I just wish you'd say "thanks" not even any more than that. But I can't expect you to know the hidden meaning behind my sharing that. You will take it at face value, like I literally said "Just in case you're curious." So if you say anything, it will likely be Monday morning, before my session, like with the race thing. And that's all good. I just feel...vulnerable. Maybe because I also shared a bunch with H last night. Though I can easily check in with him later. Maybe that's what I actually need to do.

Love,
LT
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 12:00 PM
  #67
Hello t. I'd say ex-t but what's the point in that, really, I'll always think of you as t anyway. Right? Ahh. I'm feeling happy again and after a little more time and thinking am back to that place of gratitude for the time I had with you and all the deep work we did together and that I learned how to do on my own like working with my dreams. I have no plans of stopping my dream work that's for sure! Have no fear this girl is not 'going back to sleep'. I have come much, much too far from the closed-up little person that I was in Nov of 2011 when we first met to let that happen. I'll always be grateful to you for that. Love, me
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susannahsays
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 12:59 PM
  #68
C was mean to me. She said I need to stop attention seeking. That made me feel like I did something bad. I guess I did seek some attention/comfort yesterday when I saw you. But it's not like I was lying about feeling ill. I also didn't walk in there consciously thinking about obtaining attention for myself. And when I told you when she hurt my arm, it was because I was scared, not to get your attention. But it's comforting to have someone be sympathetic when you're hurt or ill. Should I have tried to pretend I felt normal? That seems pretty dumb, and I couldn't have done it anyway.

I also didn't appreciate it because I never mention any of the chronic medical complaints, only when something new and significant happens. If I was "attention seeking" in the way that was implied, surely I'd have used all the material I have available to me. I don't - but I could and I don't think that would be wrong either if it was actually bothering me. But I'm used to the chronic stuff, and the symptoms are pretty mild right now, so I don't become fearful and overly distressed by them.

Anyway, whether I say I'm feeling sick or not, you are giving me your attention during session. I get it no matter what I say. So maybe C has a problem with me receiving sympathy.

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 01:06 PM
  #69
Dear ex T, I miss you. I wish you would email me and check in, of course you won’t, but you sent me an email over Christmas and I replied and you never replied back.

I wish sometimes we would accidentally bump into each other in the street. I miss your hugs.

My life is going through a huge change and the change will be life long and I just miss the consistency of speaking to someone who knew all my issues. You saw me pass out in your session, saw me at my most vulnerable, understood my upbringing and supported me through the good things to. I just really miss you and miss therapy. I know you are retired and I’ve seen your life change as you’ve aged and your loses. I just miss speaking to someone authentically.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #70
I'm watching this series and the main guy reminds me of you, with his old man personality. It's funny but it makes me sad, wishing I knew if you watched it or liked it. I hate being punished for being me... by not being able to talk to you anymore. I've never hated myself more

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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 01:40 PM
  #71
I’m super disappointed that our Monday session is going to be so rushed, especially in light of everything that has happened this week.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 03:01 PM
  #72
I wish you were here. When I had you I didn't care about what other people thought. When I had you, I wasn't afraid I wouldn't be able to make friends. When I had you, I knew everything would be okay in the end. I miss you. Talking to your picture isn't the same as talking to you. I miss you so much.
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Default Mar 02, 2019 at 03:07 PM
  #73
I did get to 23 days without emailing.

2 mins 35 seconds so far.

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 02:33 AM
  #74
Sexual dream stuff

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 06:33 AM
  #75
Bad subdrop not that you'd be of any use whatsoever. I don't know what I'm going to say to you.
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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 06:36 AM
  #76
To be fair I don't know wtf I'd be saying to R at this point either.
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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 06:43 AM
  #77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
I did get to 23 days without emailing.

2 mins 35 seconds so far.
That's impressive!!!

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 06:44 AM
  #78
I really f***ing miss him though.
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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 07:08 AM
  #79
Please help me tell you the truth about Friday. I feel completely conflicted over it.

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Default Mar 03, 2019 at 07:25 AM
  #80
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just don't know.
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