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susannahsays
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 12:38 AM
  #981
You're the worst and I hate you!

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Jersey 4
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:28 AM
  #982
Ex T,
You showed up in my dreams twice in the past 2 weeks. I didn’t invite you so get the **** out. Don’t come back.
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Raging Quiet
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:49 AM
  #983
Dear potential new T, I’ve emailed you, texted you and left a message on 2 phone numbers. You haven’t returned my phone messages. It’s easy for you to initially suggest me to call you, but I have massive phone anxiety and the times I did call to leave you a voicemail, I was shaking so much. If you don’t want to take me on, just tell me, but if you don’t, don’t ignore me. I am struggling here.
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Lemoncake
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:54 AM
  #984
I should have just emailed sooner, instead of white knuckling it through.

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chihirochild
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 06:40 AM
  #985
I suppose it’s good for me to learn to ask for help or whatever but I wish you could magically intuit when I am in distress and come to my rescue. (I’m ashamed that I want this but it is true.)
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 06:46 AM
  #986
I kind of want to know what you meant but I also don't want to know.
I want you to have strong feelings about me. I want to be special. I want you to care about me more than would be healthy. But I also need to be able to trust that you know what you're doing and that you manage your own emotions and everything is fine.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 08:58 AM
  #987
Dear T,
Possible trigger:

Love,
LT
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  #988
I hate holidays. Now I get sad missing you AND my dog.... ugh.... I wish life was the same when you were both still in it

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piggy momma
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 10:53 AM
  #989
I know we need to talk about my email, but can we not?
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LostOnTheTrail
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 10:55 AM
  #990
I want to reach out, but words are hard. Please give me some indication that you will be back on Thursday, when you will at least be able to help me keep talking.

This has been really tough.

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Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 11:04 AM
  #991
Please answer me. I know there’s not tons to answer in my email, but I need some encouragement, some reassurance, some handholding. Please be here.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 11:45 AM
  #992
I bet you thought "WTF?" when you read how scared I was feeling over getting an "angiogram". You were probably thinking "wow, this seems like some high drama reaction to some blood vessel viewing".
I bet you were really like "WTF?!!!" when my message about the results included details of my new "robo-coronary artery".
Angiogram vs angioplasty... Big difference I guess. I'm sure my high drama and fear makes sense now.
What is in my heart about the whole thing is the fact that you responded to my fear over what you thought was a non-invasive procedure with such compassion and didn't question or judge my level of fear when it probably appeared to be irrational.
I love you and appreciate the times when you are so gentle with me. It seems like you know when I need that. In contrast, you also know when I need to be "called out on my ****".
There is something about coming close to death that provides one with instant shifts in perspective. I'm looking forward to discussing this with you tomorrow, and I've got no fear about it. The fear that's been holding me back now seems trivial after what I've been through this week.
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RaineD
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 12:50 PM
  #993
I need you now more than ever. My life seems to have unraveled without you. I haven't felt your presence in months. I need you. Help me, please.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #994
I guess you’re not answering. I went from being sad but okay to completely not okay at all. Your not answering today has brought everything home for me. Made everything unravel.
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ArtleyWilkins
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 01:19 PM
  #995
Quote:
Originally Posted by goatee View Post
I guess you’re not answering. I went from being sad but okay to completely not okay at all. Your not answering today has brought everything home for me. Made everything unravel.
Remember, this is a holiday. May not be checking messages. Hang in there.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 02:25 PM
  #996
Hi T, love you, missed you today.
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Default Apr 21, 2019 at 02:50 PM
  #997
Why did I have to watch this television show? Why did it have to bring on such feelings of rage, terror, and bewilderment?
I'm supposed to resting and healing. I'm not supposed to realize this right now. Not without you in front of me. I wish I could see your eyes looking at me right now. That loving, knowing, and safe feeling that I get in those moments of holding space with you in the gaze. I need it right now more than I ever have.
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Trig Apr 21, 2019 at 04:50 PM
  #998
T, Easter sucks. 20 years ago today I thought I finally had a family. I was older so they didn’t want to do the court thing but they wanted ME, ME as their daughter. I sat and we all talked about exactly what that meant. FAMILY FOREVER. Holidays, support, love, connection... squabbles and fights too... but family, normal, healthy, disfunctional family. The following year I got my new mom a flower of a type she collected, part of the society for that flower and everything... “what’s this” was the reply and I told her today was the day you welcomed me into the family. I figured she was just bad with dates as I am and Easter was a busy time as family to two ministers... less than a year after that first anniversary they turned on me like rabid coyotes, uglier than anything my family ever unleashed. I got so violently ill and the Drs didn’t know why so I got quarantined for two weeks. The next time they contacted me was ten years later wanting money for a missions trip... no hi, how are you? No, haven’t heard from you... just send money for a mission trip... I was a student, they were upper class... send money...
Now today my son has gone off again.
Possible trigger:
H is not home... don’t know when he will be home but it won’t be pretty.
Nothing here for dinner and the poor dogs have not been out because of my son.... Every time I try to think of you all I can think of is how hung up your wife is on table manners and you getting “THE look” at the table... don’t know if it is real or not... but it is all I can think of.
Tomorrow I will see you but can’t talk of my son, I understand. But then you are off for another week again... at least it is CEUs so I feel less bad about emailing than if it were family.

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Wild eyed with fear
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Default Apr 22, 2019 at 01:19 PM
  #999
Whoever said time heals all wounds lies. As this year passes I miss you more and more. The pain doesnt get amy eaiser in fact it gets more painful. I miss you. I miss the work we did and the way you knew and understood me.

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