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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given |
#981
You're the worst and I hate you!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,162
5 1,170 hugs
given |
#982
Ex T,
You showed up in my dreams twice in the past 2 weeks. I didn’t invite you so get the **** out. Don’t come back. |
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atisketatasket, chihirochild, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Cosmic Creeper
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 2,080
11 1,229 hugs
given |
#983
Dear potential new T, I’ve emailed you, texted you and left a message on 2 phone numbers. You haven’t returned my phone messages. It’s easy for you to initially suggest me to call you, but I have massive phone anxiety and the times I did call to leave you a voicemail, I was shaking so much. If you don’t want to take me on, just tell me, but if you don’t, don’t ignore me. I am struggling here.
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chihirochild, LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Louella, SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,691
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#984
I should have just emailed sooner, instead of white knuckling it through.
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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chihirochild, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
given |
#985
I suppose it’s good for me to learn to ask for help or whatever but I wish you could magically intuit when I am in distress and come to my rescue. (I’m ashamed that I want this but it is true.)
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
given |
#986
I kind of want to know what you meant but I also don't want to know.
I want you to have strong feelings about me. I want to be special. I want you to care about me more than would be healthy. But I also need to be able to trust that you know what you're doing and that you manage your own emotions and everything is fine. |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Always in This Twilight
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 20,731
(SuperPoster!)
9 74.9k hugs
given |
#987
Dear T,
Possible trigger:
Love, LT |
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LabRat27, Lemoncake, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given |
#988
I hate holidays. Now I get sad missing you AND my dog.... ugh.... I wish life was the same when you were both still in it
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
given |
#989
I know we need to talk about my email, but can we not?
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DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,790
12 3,116 hugs
given |
#990
I want to reach out, but words are hard. Please give me some indication that you will be back on Thursday, when you will at least be able to help me keep talking.
This has been really tough. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
given |
#991
Please answer me. I know there’s not tons to answer in my email, but I need some encouragement, some reassurance, some handholding. Please be here.
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DP_2017, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#992
I bet you thought "WTF?" when you read how scared I was feeling over getting an "angiogram". You were probably thinking "wow, this seems like some high drama reaction to some blood vessel viewing".
I bet you were really like "WTF?!!!" when my message about the results included details of my new "robo-coronary artery". Angiogram vs angioplasty... Big difference I guess. I'm sure my high drama and fear makes sense now. What is in my heart about the whole thing is the fact that you responded to my fear over what you thought was a non-invasive procedure with such compassion and didn't question or judge my level of fear when it probably appeared to be irrational. I love you and appreciate the times when you are so gentle with me. It seems like you know when I need that. In contrast, you also know when I need to be "called out on my ****". There is something about coming close to death that provides one with instant shifts in perspective. I'm looking forward to discussing this with you tomorrow, and I've got no fear about it. The fear that's been holding me back now seems trivial after what I've been through this week. |
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LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 950
6 962 hugs
given |
#993
I need you now more than ever. My life seems to have unraveled without you. I haven't felt your presence in months. I need you. Help me, please.
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
given |
#994
I guess you’re not answering. I went from being sad but okay to completely not okay at all. Your not answering today has brought everything home for me. Made everything unravel.
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,787
5 7 hugs
given |
#995
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goatee, SlumberKitty
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blackocean, goatee, LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, susannahsays
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,157
6 1,833 hugs
given |
#996
Hi T, love you, missed you today.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#997
Why did I have to watch this television show? Why did it have to bring on such feelings of rage, terror, and bewilderment?
I'm supposed to resting and healing. I'm not supposed to realize this right now. Not without you in front of me. I wish I could see your eyes looking at me right now. That loving, knowing, and safe feeling that I get in those moments of holding space with you in the gaze. I need it right now more than I ever have. |
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#998
T, Easter sucks. 20 years ago today I thought I finally had a family. I was older so they didn’t want to do the court thing but they wanted ME, ME as their daughter. I sat and we all talked about exactly what that meant. FAMILY FOREVER. Holidays, support, love, connection... squabbles and fights too... but family, normal, healthy, disfunctional family. The following year I got my new mom a flower of a type she collected, part of the society for that flower and everything... “what’s this” was the reply and I told her today was the day you welcomed me into the family. I figured she was just bad with dates as I am and Easter was a busy time as family to two ministers... less than a year after that first anniversary they turned on me like rabid coyotes, uglier than anything my family ever unleashed. I got so violently ill and the Drs didn’t know why so I got quarantined for two weeks. The next time they contacted me was ten years later wanting money for a missions trip... no hi, how are you? No, haven’t heard from you... just send money for a mission trip... I was a student, they were upper class... send money...
Now today my son has gone off again.
Possible trigger:
Nothing here for dinner and the poor dogs have not been out because of my son.... Every time I try to think of you all I can think of is how hung up your wife is on table manners and you getting “THE look” at the table... don’t know if it is real or not... but it is all I can think of. Tomorrow I will see you but can’t talk of my son, I understand. But then you are off for another week again... at least it is CEUs so I feel less bad about emailing than if it were family. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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LabRat27, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Anonymous45127
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
given |
#999
Whoever said time heals all wounds lies. As this year passes I miss you more and more. The pain doesnt get amy eaiser in fact it gets more painful. I miss you. I miss the work we did and the way you knew and understood me.
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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