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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,819
10 375 hugs
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Apr 19, 2019 at 09:05 PM
#961
Moms birthday is coming up, Aunt F's birthday would be today and the anniversary of our last appointment, and your accident are in the in the next few weeks. Today was the first time in quite some time I wish I was no longer hekr or wanting to SI. Keeping my happy face on and thankful to have spent time with various friends this week. Missing you!!
__________________ Last edited by nottrustin; Apr 19, 2019 at 09:49 PM.. |
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 DP_2017, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, Omers, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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Apr 19, 2019 at 10:08 PM
#962
That was okay I guess.
I'm still frustrated with the fact that you don't understand that they're not interchangeable. It doesn't seem like a difficult concept to understand. When a kid wants their parent's love, other kinds of caring or positive emotions aren't a substitute. So why would it be for me with what I want? Edit: P.S. ...you didn't ask. You said you'd ask. Did you forget? Were you hoping I'd tell you if I had? I was relieved that I didn't have to tell you, but I'm also a bit hurt. The cruel part of my brain is telling me that it's proof that you don't give a **** either way so I might as well do it more. Which is ridiculous because like half of the session today was about the fact that you do care and how I feel about that. Last edited by LabRat27; Apr 20, 2019 at 01:30 AM.. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 322
7 567 hugs
given |
Apr 19, 2019 at 10:53 PM
#963
Well, T, that was terrible. I’m exhausted and incredibly sad.
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| ElectricManatee, LabRat27, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given
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Apr 19, 2019 at 11:55 PM
#964
I hope you sleep terribly and have lots of nightmares!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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| SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given
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Apr 19, 2019 at 11:57 PM
#965
And diarrhea!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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| SlumberKitty
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 goatee
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,695
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 12:16 AM
#966
I dreamt of you last night, but it was mainly about seeing you with your daughter and you making christmas decorations with her. There was a cupboard in my grandmothers room. where you had left your journals and I was secretly reading them and I stole a piece of cake from your tin. Your wife was there and my sister had befriended her.
I always bring you cake whenever i come back to london, so maybe that's me trying to get something from you. It must get tiring to constantly hear me tell you that i'm jealous of your young daughter and i feel ashamed. Two years on and i'm still crying over something i never had. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." 
Last edited by Lemoncake; Apr 20, 2019 at 12:44 AM.. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 2,160
6 1,833 hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 02:38 AM
#967
Hey T, what's it like being my secure base? Just hanging out in your life, doing your thing. Knowing that you'll be there in your room on Wednesday and that that makes my week feel okay. Nearly 4.5 years now, and we're finally getting somewhere attachment-wise.
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Young Butterfly
Member Since Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
12 1,475 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 08:02 AM
#968
Dear T,
Now would be the time to pull out your best supportive t hat. And not your sometimes I answer emails sometimes I don’t technique out. Healed __________________ "You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
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Tweaky Dog
Member Since Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 4,796
12 3,123 hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 09:55 AM
#969
We'll schedule something for next week, right? I don't know if I can contemplate three weeks.
This has been close to impossible. __________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,695
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 10:39 AM
#970
"You give me miles and miles of mountains, and I ask for the sea."
__________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."
Last edited by Lemoncake; Apr 20, 2019 at 11:33 AM.. |
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SalingerEsme
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Apr 20, 2019 at 11:25 AM
#971
It hurts so much and I miss you.
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 70 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 11:55 AM
#972
You still haven’t replied to me. I know it’s Easter and you’re a priest and all but c’mon, step it up
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| Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: North America
Posts: 2,360
7 4,865 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 01:30 PM
#973
Possible trigger:
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 02:42 PM
#974
I still hate you. I hope you stub your pinky toe and find a roach in your house. Also, that your dinner is burned. If you are visiting family for Easter, I hope you forget to pack clean underwear and your phone charger.
Get ****ed, therapist. ETA: Also, I hope the underwire in all your bras pops out the ends to poke you. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
5 1 hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 05:37 PM
#975
I hate you! I hope all your fingers get hangnails! May you have bad hair for a week and run out of floss after eating asparagus! I hope there are grounds in your coffee! I hope that the jack breaks on your earbuds so you have to hold it just right to hear anything! May the batteries in your TV remote die! May the screen protector on your phone have lots of bubbles!
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2008
Posts: 7,361
15 25 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 08:50 PM
#976
Quote:
 (I don't mean to make light of your anger, at all. Just found that bit funny) |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
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Apr 20, 2019 at 09:32 PM
#977
My friend was probably right and you didn't really love me. I wouldn't know love really, I only ever felt it from dogs. I thought it felt that way but who knows. Not like you would ever have admitted it anyway if I had asked. Even if you did, you sure don't anymore. I'll always love you but that's different. You did some crazy special things in my life no one else ever could.... I didn't do that for you.
Not sure why any of this matters anymore. Sure doesn't to you. I wish my mind could screw off. __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: A house
Posts: 4,412
6 665 hugs
given
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Apr 20, 2019 at 09:37 PM
#978
t3.... I am really angry with you. Not in the sense that I'd be mean but that I want to push you away and shut down completely. I can't even see you regularly yet but I'm so confused about you. You intrigue me, you challenge me but you anger me. I have to decide if it's worth pushing through these feelings instead of running from them or not. It's not your fault at all, it's me and my ridiculous thinking
__________________ Grief is the price you pay for love. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 1,009
6 2,354 hugs
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Apr 21, 2019 at 12:35 AM
#979
I realized that I don't like when you focus on the healthy choices or progress I've made when it really really hurts anyway.
If I tell you I had a really really hard evening and everything really hurt but I did something else instead of hurting myself then you'll focus on that. You'll be happy about that. You won't be thinking about how much it still hurt the entire time. If I agree to take it off the table then none of my pain will ever matter. If a tree falls in the forest, but there's no one there to hear it... If I'm in pain, but I don't engage in self destructive behaviors... |
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
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Apr 21, 2019 at 12:36 AM
#980
Dear No. 3,
Sometimes I let myself take a look at the pain you caused me and I realize it still hurts like ****ing hell. ATAT __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
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