Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

Jersey 4 · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Isnt 600lb great? It shows me CAUSE, and EFFECT. After a while, its like im watching a horror film: "noooo! Dont call the pizza place!! No, dont answer the door, its the PIZZA GUY!!!"

Not kidding. The self-sabotage really hits home.

It’s exaxtly like that. The guy I watching yesterday went to the fast food place and I sat here hiding my face at the amount of stuff he ordered. So then I was able to see. For every value meal..it’s one step closer to THAT. And I’m not going to let THAT happen to me.

Mar 05, 2019 at 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

What's for lunch?

Sliced chicken sammich and some grapes.

unaluna · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

I went for my usual walk on my morning break, and I'm feeling a little better now. Fresh are was just what I needed. Now it's lunch time nom nom nom.

We dont have any air outside. We just have cold!!

Jersey 4 · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:40 PM

Cold. Cold and more cold.

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Isnt 600lb great? It shows me CAUSE, and EFFECT. After a while, its like im watching a horror film: "noooo! Dont call the pizza place!! No, dont answer the door, its the PIZZA GUY!!!"

Not kidding. The self-sabotage really hits home.

Change is hard. I'm a huge comfort eater, so can really empathize. I told my brother that I could be on that show.

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:43 PM

A song by the legendary Micheal Bublé that stirs up my parent issues:

YouTube

Tempted to send stupid R the second one.

YouTube

Mar 05, 2019 at 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey 4

It’s exaxtly like that. The guy I watching yesterday went to the fast food place and I sat here hiding my face at the amount of stuff he ordered. So then I was able to see. For every value meal..it’s one step closer to THAT. And I’m not going to let THAT happen to me.

trigger for weight/numbers

Possible trigger:

Yeah... after I had gained back 25% of what I had lost in 2018 (starting to work at home right before the holidays was an adjustment!) I had to start picturing myself back at my highest weight (300.4 lbs) and that's what did the trick for me, I got myself back on track. I am NOT going to let THAT happen to me AGAIN. Just, no. I'm back down to 248 lbs now and my next goal of 240 is clearly in my sites.

I'm really proud of myself that so far anyway, through this sexuality stuff/my marriage issues/leaving therapy I am eating healthy for the most part (still have ice cream sometimes, but I even it out) and have not started gaining again. That's actually rather amazing to me.

ElectricManatee · Mar 05, 2019 at 01:49 PM

Lemon, how is "acting out" not part of therapy? What does it mean to you that you want to give him extravagant gifts? Super weird that he would say something kind of shaming like that. Or am I misinterpreting?

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2019 at 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

Lemon, how is "acting out" not part of therapy? What does it mean to you that you want to give him extravagant gifts? Super weird that he would say something kind of shaming like that. Or am I misinterpreting?

I didn't want to say this but it was a £20 amazon gift card, along with a book "the little prince, chocolate and a lego key ring. For his last birthday it was exactly the same thing, but a different book and chocolate brand but the giftcard value was £10 and minus the keyring. But I have given him a £30 gift card for Christmas '17 with chocolate. So this present thing isn't new.

For me I like picking out presents and it gives me something to look forward too. But I only buy for my siblings and not my parents.

I told him that I was hearing that I was too much.

I skipped friday because I did feel huge amounts of shame and humiliation- that I was stupid for going through so much effort, I only spent that much because I decided I wouldn't get him an almost father's day gift.

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2019 at 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieSwimsOn

trigger for weight/numbers

Possible trigger:

Yeah... after I had gained back 25% of what I had lost in 2018 (starting to work at home right before the holidays was an adjustment!) I had to start picturing myself back at my highest weight (300.4 lbs) and that's what did the trick for me, I got myself back on track. I am NOT going to let THAT happen to me AGAIN. Just, no. I'm back down to 248 lbs now and my next goal of 240 is clearly in my sites.

I'm really proud of myself that so far anyway, through this sexuality stuff/my marriage issues/leaving therapy I am eating healthy for the most part (still have ice cream sometimes, but I even it out) and have not started gaining again. That's actually rather amazing to me.

Artie you've made so much progress! If you keep at it I know you're gonna make it girl!

EDA:YouTube

"Pretty woman, walkin' down the street
Pretty woman the kind I like to meet
Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could look as good as you, mercy"

(I haven't been drinking just feeling happy)

Mar 05, 2019 at 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Artie you've made so much progress! If you keep at it I know you're gonna make it girl!

EDA:YouTube

"Pretty woman, walkin' down the street

Pretty woman the kind I like to meet

Pretty woman I don't believe you, you're not the truth

No one could look as good as you, mercy"

(I haven't been drinking just feeling happy)

Awww thanks Lemoncake!

CantExplain · Mar 05, 2019 at 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail

The n-th lazy caterer number is the maximum number of pieces a (circular) pizza can be cut into with n (straight-line) cuts.
Unlike the situation with cake, everybody gets the toppings.

Every lazy caterer number is one more than a triangular number.

DP_2017 · Mar 05, 2019 at 03:55 PM

Baby T said originally that 2x a week is ok if it's needed, well I didn't realize at the time, that it means if HE gives the ok. I tried calling to get in again this week and the woman on the phone said that she can't put me down unless he says its ok. So she sent me to a voicemail he apparently has now but it was "full" so I couldn't leave anything, so I called back and she said she would ask him and call me back, that was at 830am, no word. I feel annoying calling again because it's not urgent its just more yesterday stunk and I have so much more I want to get off my mind right now. He's the only person in real life I talk to about T.

The other thing that sucks, he barley has any spots open now, so I had like 4 or 5 spots to pick from next week. I hate not having the same day/time every week. Sigh....

I'm feeling a bit flustered

Lemoncake · Mar 05, 2019 at 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Baby T said originally that 2x a week is ok if it's needed, well I didn't realize at the time, that it means if HE gives the ok. I tried calling to get in again this week and the woman on the phone said that she can't put me down unless he says its ok. So she sent me to a voicemail he apparently has now but it was "full" so I couldn't leave anything, so I called back and she said she would ask him and call me back, that was at 830am, no word. I feel annoying calling again because it's not urgent its just more yesterday stunk and I have so much more I want to get off my mind right now. He's the only person in real life I talk to about T.

The other thing that sucks, he barley has any spots open now, so I had like 4 or 5 spots to pick from next week. I hate not having the same day/time every week. Sigh....

I'm feeling a bit flustered

It's okay to call again.

Perhaps if you book in advance enough you could have a set slot.

DP_2017 · Mar 05, 2019 at 04:09 PM

They told me they only can do 2 weeks in advance for appointments, and it's whatever is open. Apparently he must be more popular now because the first week I saw him, I got in the next day from calling.

I may call again but idk, I feel like he's going to judge it based on need and there isn't a need and it's not anything I'd do regularly. I also think he's worried I may attach or something like with T but I wont, I typically don't and baby T has enough annoying about him that it's easy to be distant, I haven't even asked him a single thing about himself.

Mar 05, 2019 at 04:09 PM

omg i woke up this morning to a realisation that all this stuff with my T is about my mothers.

Mar 05, 2019 at 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemoncake

Can you raise this issue with the head or CEO of the company?

(I've watched too much undercover boss.)

I meant we are under a microscope haha

unaluna · Mar 05, 2019 at 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DP_2017

They told me they only can do 2 weeks in advance for appointments, and it's whatever is open. Apparently he must be more popular now because the first week I saw him, I got in the next day from calling.

I may call again but idk, I feel like he's going to judge it based on need and there isn't a need and it's not anything I'd do regularly. I also think he's worried I may attach or something like with T but I wont, I typically don't and baby T has enough annoying about him that it's easy to be distant, I haven't even asked him a single thing about himself.

You didnt want to commit to therapy after your last appointment. Its like you have this idea of therapy as being like some husbands say, "Well, my wife is married, but im not!" Meaning the weaker or dependent one HAS to be there, but the master can come and go? But thats not really true, is it. Each person controls their participation in their relationship.

Anyway, i think his unavailability is partly his not wanting to play that game. Therapy isnt a drop-in thing.

It doesnt have to be need. It can be just a want. Wanting your life to be different. Wanting a willing, helpful, pleasant, available ear attached to a human brain.

You ARE in control of your half of your relationships. Maybe T leaving made you feel like you werent, but there are other ts in the sea.

DP_2017 · Mar 05, 2019 at 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

You didnt want to commit to therapy after your last appointment. Its like you have this idea of therapy as being like some husbands say, "Well, my wife is married, but im not!" Meaning the weaker or dependent one HAS to be there, but the master can come and go? But thats not really true, is it. Each person controls their participation in their relationship.

Anyway, i think his unavailability is partly his not wanting to play that game. Therapy isnt a drop-in thing.

It doesnt have to be need. It can be just a want. Wanting your life to be different. Wanting a willing, helpful, pleasant, available ear attached to a human brain.

You ARE in control of your half of your relationships. Maybe T leaving made you feel like you werent, but there are other ts in the sea.

Actually that's not true. I hate going because it's not t. I go because i know i need some help managing things. I said that

It has nothing to do with me or so called games. Its company policy and I assume the woman never asked him.

Its not a game. I want to be able to deal with this in short term therapy. Long term i won't do again

That being said, I'm not bothering to call again so I go back next Tuesday. So no need for judgement

CantExplain · Mar 05, 2019 at 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Therapy isn't a drop-in thing.

It can be.

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Couch 191: The Lazy Caterer Couch

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Jersey 4 Poohbah Member Since Feb 2019 Location: NJ Posts: 1,162 5 1,170 hugs given	Mar 05, 2019 at 01:40 PM #44 Cold. Cold and more cold.

Lemoncake Luna's offical mini me. Member Since May 2017 Location: Cafe Nervosa. Posts: 9,691 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.2k hugs given	Mar 05, 2019 at 01:43 PM #46 A song by the legendary Micheal Bublé that stirs up my parent issues: YouTube Tempted to send stupid R the second one. YouTube __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing."

ElectricManatee Magnate Member Since May 2017 Location: Earth Posts: 2,515 6 4,704 hugs given	Mar 05, 2019 at 01:49 PM #48 Lemon, how is "acting out" not part of therapy? What does it mean to you that you want to give him extravagant gifts? Super weird that he would say something kind of shaming like that. Or am I misinterpreting?

Anonymous42961 Guest Posts: n/a	Mar 05, 2019 at 04:09 PM #56 omg i woke up this morning to a realisation that all this stuff with my T is about my mothers.