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Big Poppa
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
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Mar 12, 2019 at 07:11 PM
#1
"Therapy isn't finished until you have detached from the therapist."
Discuss. __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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 koru_kiwi, TrailRunner14
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,730
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Mar 12, 2019 at 07:13 PM
#2
Why?
------- __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
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Mar 12, 2019 at 07:40 PM
#3
I can see the truth in that statement.
If your therapist is the safe place that you went to, to heal and learn what the boundaries are for a healthy relationship, I feel that you (I) will have to learn a stand alone strength. If your therapist has been the example of a healthy and safe relationship, I would imagine that there is an attachment to them or that space they represent. I know for me that is true. I’m still working on holding that line of setting boundaries and feeling strength in doing it. It scares me right now to think of that place not being there to help encourage me, learn and find strength. When I’m ready, I’m sure I will feel a type of healthy detachment to go out and hold those boundaries, in strength, in my own. That is my feeling or reply to your statement. Thank you for the discussion invitation! It made me think about it! __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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CantExplain, MoxieDoxie
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,866
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Mar 12, 2019 at 07:58 PM
#4
I can see that. Hate isnt the opposite of love, indifference is. So until you feel indifferent to your t.
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CantExplain
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Mar 12, 2019 at 10:42 PM
#5
Recently had a similar conclusion:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/6444508-post36.html But that's not the end just yet ..after the attachment ends, you rebuild and grow in the person you were meant to be. Last edited by Anonymous56789; Mar 13, 2019 at 12:15 AM.. |
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CantExplain
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
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Mar 12, 2019 at 11:06 PM
#6
I don’t understand hate and indifference.
__________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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CantExplain
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
Posts: 672
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Mar 13, 2019 at 12:18 AM
#7
Quote:
 as soon as i knew i had successfully and healthily detached from my T, i was 100% ready to terminate. although i knew i still had work to do on myself, i knew the work i needed to do with with my T was complete and i no longer had the desire or felt the need to be in therapy. i was ready to spread my wings and leave the nest. out of curiosity, who is the author of said quote? |
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CantExplain
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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Mar 13, 2019 at 12:29 AM
#8
I have never attached to a T, so it wasn't necessary to detach.
I have another question: Is it necessary to become attached in order to heal? I feel that therapists are like doctors or other professionals. They are there to help us, but not to become family members. From reading others' posts, I feel like this attachment (many have described it as love) is not the healthiest feeling to have towards a paid professional. |
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CantExplain, sarahsweets
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Member
Member Since Nov 2017
Location: UK
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Mar 13, 2019 at 01:08 AM
#9
Quote:
I'm personally left with less trust than ever in life! |
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CantExplain
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Big Poppa
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
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Mar 13, 2019 at 01:38 AM
#10
Quote:
Namely me. 
__________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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koru_kiwi
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: the sunny side of the street
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Mar 13, 2019 at 01:54 AM
#11
Quote:
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CantExplain
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
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Mar 13, 2019 at 03:39 AM
#12
Therapy is finished when therapy is finished regardless of one's state of attachment or detachment.
Obviously. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
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Mar 13, 2019 at 03:44 AM
#13
I cant imagine being able to detach from my T- it is so intense. I hope that day comes naturally as a part of growth.
__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 2,741
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Mar 13, 2019 at 05:21 AM
#14
Yeah but the more you are with a person the deeper the bond and connection grows. How will you ever "naturally" detach to them. You have to wean yourself off of them like a drug otherwise the withdrawals are painful.
__________________ When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: UK
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Mar 13, 2019 at 05:41 AM
#15
I think it depends on the person and the therapy. I think this forum attaches a large amount of people (not exclusively, but a lot) for whom attachment difficulties are a part of therapy. If that's the case, then perhaps? I don't know. Different people do need different things from therapy. But I think the bigger proportion of therapy clients in general (in my experience) come with a specific issue or set of issues they wish to explore and resolve and the therapist and attachment don't come into it.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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