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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 11:18 PM
  #21
I wrote a really detailed email to my T about it all. I’m so nervous waiting to hear back now.
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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 11:19 PM
  #22
I hope she responds in a helpful way.
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Default Mar 19, 2019 at 06:15 AM
  #23
Glad you shared your feelings in detail with your T. I also hope she responds well.
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 09:46 PM
  #24
She didn’t really respond, so I wrote again, fully detailing my feelings even more. I’m so nervous now that I’ve sent it. Maybe I should’ve just left it alone and not rocked the boat. I’m really scared now.
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 10:57 PM
  #25
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Originally Posted by goatee View Post
She didn’t really respond, so I wrote again, fully detailing my feelings even more. I’m so nervous now that I’ve sent it. Maybe I should’ve just left it alone and not rocked the boat. I’m really scared now.
Many T's won't respond in great details through email as to try to keep things in the office and to help keep boundaries. I hope you are able to discuss the issue further at your next session.
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 11:08 PM
  #26
She is okay with my sending emails and emailing generally. She knows how much it helps me. I’m just worried she won’t be happy with the content of this email, with the feelings I shared.
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 07:23 AM
  #27
I don't think her non reply indicates that she is upset or anything, but probably that there is a lot to respond to, too much for email. Can you wait until session to bring it up and discuss?
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 07:36 AM
  #28
Thanks, Anne. Yes, I’m trying to hold on until I see her. At first when I sent the email, I felt a huge relief just to have confessed everything to her and gotten it off my chest. But now of course I’m filled with regret and fears.
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Default Mar 22, 2019 at 08:09 PM
  #29
I know it’s always difficult to tell a T how these changes effect you but I think it is a very important part of the process. Let us know how it goes.
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Default Mar 24, 2019 at 01:10 PM
  #30
That feeing of waiting for a return email is nerve-wracking. I hope she responds , or that your session is soon. It does sound like you opened up and told her true feelings, and that is good.

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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 12:26 PM
  #31
You sound, to me, more angry than depressed, or disappointed, or sad. Maybe you should work on the anger part of this with your T.

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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 07:15 PM
  #32
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You sound, to me, more angry than depressed, or disappointed, or sad. Maybe you should work on the anger part of this with your T.
I don’t know how you could tell this from what I’ve written- I went back and reread it and don’t see it in there. But I do think you might be right. Exactly that has been dawning on me. That I’m angry. I’m not more angry than sad or disappointed or depressed. I’d say that I’m a lot more sad than angry. But I’ve never been angry before. I don’t even know how to feel angry or recognize it. So feeling it at all, even a drop of it, is completely shocking.
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 05:47 AM
  #33
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I don’t know how you could tell this from what I’ve written- I went back and reread it and don’t see it in there. But I do think you might be right. Exactly that has been dawning on me. That I’m angry. I’m not more angry than sad or disappointed or depressed. I’d say that I’m a lot more sad than angry. But I’ve never been angry before. I don’t even know how to feel angry or recognize it. So feeling it at all, even a drop of it, is completely shocking.
That seems like progress. Anger is just a feeling, it has no power by itself. It can be scary if your idea of your idea of anger is other people out of control. But it's a natural response to feeling hurt or betrayed by others, or both.
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 10:32 PM
  #34
Actually it does matter what the boundary change is. The most common change people distress about is when the therapist decides to limit outside contact via e-mail, phone, or texting. No doubt that's what most of the posters assumed--not to say they would have changed their advice. But if the behavior was outside the bounds of what is considered normal or even ethical for a therapist, then the boundary change assumes different proportions. Also, that blocking an entire topic would have graver implications for the health of the relationship than a communications change seems obvious to me, no matter how much the client felt he needed the emails, etc.
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Default Mar 30, 2019 at 02:17 AM
  #35
I don’t want to say what it is because it is something very identifying and specific. But it was most definitely not anything unethical on my T’s part.

Unfortunately, I’m still having a lot of trouble with this issue right now. Feeling very down about it.
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Default Mar 30, 2019 at 02:19 AM
  #36
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Originally Posted by Anne2.0 View Post
That seems like progress. Anger is just a feeling, it has no power by itself. It can be scary if your idea of your idea of anger is other people out of control. But it's a natural response to feeling hurt or betrayed by others, or both.
Thanks for this, Anne. I am completely terrified of feeling anger. This is a really helpful thought for me to keep in mind.
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Default Mar 31, 2019 at 04:24 AM
  #37
I'm sorry you're feeling so down, but I'm definitely glad it's not an ethical question. I don't know that that would be solvable. I think, as the others have said, talking about it as much as you need to and time itself are the best you can do for now.
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