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Old 03-18-2019, 01:27 PM #21
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
Thanks. It's booked for Thursday but I might cancel. I'm feeling better after my meltdown on Friday. I just had therapy this morning and it was a really good session.

Can you talk about suicide now which is currently on your mind? Do you think the issues with your T have been solved if no?
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Old 03-18-2019, 01:39 PM #22
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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Can you talk about suicide now which is currently on your mind? Do you think the issues with your T have been solved if no?
He said occasionally is ok, just not every week. That's the only issue I have with him. Everything else is really good.
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Old 03-18-2019, 08:12 PM #23
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

I still feel that is wrong. You should be able to talk about it as much as you need.
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:18 PM #24
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

Is the reason he said that that you were making threats to kill yourself all the time? I don't remember if it was you or someone else (maybe on a completely different website) that was talking about this before. Their T felt like he was being taken emotionally hostage because they kept threatening suicide. I think the T felt that the expressions of SI were a manifestation of their BPD rather than actual ideation. Iirc, they ended up being terminated and referred to DBT. The more I think about it, the more I think the person who posted this was the therapist, not the client. So not you. And who knows about the client's side of that story.

I seem to recall you have BPD, though - maybe he's working off of the same sort of logic? Not saying that's right for him to do, just wondering where he got the bizarre idea that this is a topic that should be restricted.
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Old 03-19-2019, 06:00 AM #25
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
He said occasionally is ok, just not every week. That's the only issue I have with him. Everything else is really good.
It makes sense to me that a T might believe that talking consistently about suicide is destructive to an individual's well being. I also think that like in any relationship, the other party can ask the other to do something different or make it a dealbreaker of the relationship.

I don't believe in the unfettered right of a therapy client to do and say whatever they want in therapy, unless that is agreed upon by both client and therapist.
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Old 03-19-2019, 09:20 AM #26
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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Originally Posted by fille_folle View Post
Is the reason he said that that you were making threats to kill yourself all the time? I don't remember if it was you or someone else (maybe on a completely different website) that was talking about this before. Their T felt like he was being taken emotionally hostage because they kept threatening suicide. I think the T felt that the expressions of SI were a manifestation of their BPD rather than actual ideation. Iirc, they ended up being terminated and referred to DBT. The more I think about it, the more I think the person who posted this was the therapist, not the client. So not you. And who knows about the client's side of that story.

I seem to recall you have BPD, though - maybe he's working off of the same sort of logic? Not saying that's right for him to do, just wondering where he got the bizarre idea that this is a topic that should be restricted.
This isnít me youíre thinking of. I do have BPD tho. His rationale is because if Iím that suicidal I need more help than he can provide me, which I understand. He is ethically doing the right thing.
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Old 03-19-2019, 09:39 AM #27
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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Originally Posted by piggy momma View Post
This isnít me youíre thinking of. I do have BPD tho. His rationale is because if Iím that suicidal I need more help than he can provide me, which I understand. He is ethically doing the right thing.
But he's not doing the ethical thing as he defined it. He's just making it impossible for you to talk about. He knows you're suicidal, so why hasn't he referred you out? Pretending you're not suicidal doesn't seem like a very sound strategy to me for either of you.
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:02 AM #28
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

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But he's not doing the ethical thing as he defined it. He's just making it impossible for you to talk about. He knows you're suicidal, so why hasn't he referred you out? Pretending you're not suicidal doesn't seem like a very sound strategy to me for either of you.

This is much what I was thinking. Or does he not realize you're currently suicidal? It just seems like if you have to hide a major element of your mental health from your therapist, that can't be good for you.
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Old 03-19-2019, 11:49 AM #29
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

Would you not be able to access whatever higher level of care he recommends? You should get whatever treatment you need for where you're at right now, mental health wise. I know plenty of therapists can work in an outpatient setting with people who have suicidal thoughts that only go so far. If he's not one of those therapists, or if your suicidal ideation is beyond what can be accommodated in a once-weekly outpatient setting, then the ethical thing would be to refer you, not to restrict what you can talk about. It can be hard to see if your thoughts are fuzzy, but if you need more than what he can give you once a week, then you should seek it out elsewhere if at all possible (2-3 times weekly with somebody else, intensive outpatient, etc).
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Old 03-19-2019, 12:15 PM #30
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Default Re: Going to see doc this week

Iím not always actively suicidal but I do struggle with chronic suicidal ideation. Itís part of BPD. Iím a full time student working part time with a mortgage, car payments, and other debt. I canít afford $250/hr even once a week let alone 2-3x a week. I have to work with what I have and make it work for me. I have spent hours and hours researching and emailing other therapists. There are literally no options for me. Itís not for lack of trying. We actually just talked about this at my session yesterday. For now, I have other people I can lean on for support when the thoughts overwhelm me. If they get really, really bad I have resources (ie supportive friends, crisis line, etc). Iím doing the best I can with what I have.
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