Visiting therapist and weekend session - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-21-2019, 06:11 AM #1
mindmechanic mindmechanic is online now
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 325
mindmechanic mindmechanic is online now
Member
mindmechanic has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 325

3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Visiting therapist and weekend session

The therapist moved out of state in June last year. She was in town for a visit last week since October last year. So that's five months. I have a spring break coming up and was thinking of heading East and stopping by her state for a few days so that we could do in-person. Her schedule is very tight and has limited availability. So I asked her whether there's flexibility that she could do a single or a double session during the weekend on Saturday or Sunday. She said she doesn't want to cancel what she has going on. I thought more about it after therapy and went back to ask her about it. She said that she doesn't work on weekends anymore and that she wasn't going to make an exception just because I'm in town for a visit. I said that that's rigid. Once when I had something major going on, her coworker talked with me on the phone on a Sunday evening even though she wasn't my therapist and wasn't getting paid. So it hurts that my own therapist is being so rigid and inflexible.

How often is it that we get to do in-person therapy? Hardly. If I'm in town for a visit, you'd think a therapist would be flexible and not **** about it and would spare 45 minutes out of the weekend for therapy. Is that too much to ask? When something is hard to come by, you'd think people would be more flexible about and not let it slip by.

I said I only asked because you've limited availability during the weekday. I said it's just a logistical matter. She said it's not just a logistical issue. It's her personal time and she isn't going to make exceptions just because I'm in town. When she put it that way, she sure didn't make it a logistical issue. I mean, which patient isn't going to feel hurt by it? Even a patient who is soon to graduate from therapy would feel hurt if their therapist is so anally rigid like that.
mindmechanic is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 03-21-2019, 06:41 AM #2
Omers's Avatar
Omers Omers is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 2,193
Omers Omers is offline
Magnate
Omers's Avatar
Omers has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 2,193

8 yr Member
1,520 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

Iím sorry that T can not fit you in while you will be in her state. All I can do is offer my empathy. I know if my T moved out of state he would terminate with me so I canít even put myself in your shoes.
__________________
Thereís been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
Omers is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-21-2019, 06:57 AM #3
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,974
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,974 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

I understand a little about where she is coming from however you are an established patient who is normally far away so I think she should make an exception. Do you do teletherapy with her or do you have a local therapist?
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-21-2019, 07:09 AM #4
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,066
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
Anne2.0 elephant walks on
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,066

5 yr Member
132 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

I would feel hurt in this situation, not because of her rigidity but because I would have the expectation that I *should* be important enough for her to fit me in when I take the step to travel to where she is. However, I would check my expectation for the reality that she did not ask me to travel nor promise that if I did, she would see me.

But what resonates with me is her desire (especially given her age and family situation) is protect her personal time from encroachment with work, as I am trying to do the same thing although my situation is different. Setting boundaries with those I work with has been a repeated theme for me, because they always want me to make time for their issues and projects, as if I don't have other work that needs to be done and a personal life to live. I do think she is showing how a professional makes time for her life and it is not about you. That knowledge is what would help me feel less hurt, but I would have to work at it. I'm sorry it feels this way and I hope you find a better place.
Anne2.0 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-21-2019, 08:13 AM #5
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 856
ArtleyWilkins ArtleyWilkins is offline
Grand Member
ArtleyWilkins has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 856 (SuperPoster!)

1 hugs
given
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

I don't think she is being unreasonable. She doesn't work on weekends. I don't either. Neither do many, many people I know. Period. She didn't ask you to come visit her. Your travel plans were not contingent on seeing her. If you want to see her in person, it would be your responsibility to plan your schedule to meet her office hours.

Understand your feelings, but your expectation is not really founded on the reality of her professional boundaries about her work time. This isn't about you honestly. This is her professional/personal boundary that she has set for her life.
ArtleyWilkins is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-21-2019, 08:36 AM #6
mindmechanic mindmechanic is online now
Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 325
mindmechanic mindmechanic is online now
Member
mindmechanic has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 325

3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

There are die hard Sox fans who wouldn't miss a game. But if there is some other event going on that rarely happens, say a supermoon or whatever other rare events, some fans might miss part of the game for it.

I'm not asking to do therapy on the weekend as a freestanding time. Nothing is absolute, right? There should be exceptions. What about the therapist's coworker who talked with me on the phone Sunday evening because I had something going on? That's being flexible. I understand professional and personal boundary. But nothing should be absolute or rigid. There should be room for exceptions.
mindmechanic is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-21-2019, 09:00 AM #7
nottrustin's Avatar
nottrustin nottrustin is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 3,492
nottrustin nottrustin is offline
Grand Magnate
nottrustin's Avatar
nottrustin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 3,492

5 yr Member
173 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic View Post
There are die hard Sox fans who wouldn't miss a game. But if there is some other event going on that rarely happens, say a supermoon or whatever other rare events, some fans might miss part of the game for it.

I'm not asking to do therapy on the weekend as a freestanding time. Nothing is absolute, right? There should be exceptions. What about the therapist's coworker who talked with me on the phone Sunday evening because I had something going on? That's being flexible. I understand professional and personal boundary. But nothing should be absolute or rigid. There should be room for exceptions.
She said she didnt want to cancel her plans; which to me indicates that she is busy during that weekend.
__________________

nottrustin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-21-2019, 09:01 AM #8
elisewin's Avatar
elisewin elisewin is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 379
elisewin elisewin is offline
Member
elisewin's Avatar
elisewin has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 379

1 yr Member
77 hugs
given
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

Obviously she doesn't want to make an exception about her weekends (or that particular weekend, maybe she has plans already). You can be disappointed or angry, but it is her personal boundary, whether you agree with it or not. I know many people who would act exactly like her. And I also know people who would not (like the coworker you mentioned) or would be more flexible if there was an obvious crisis. People have their boundaries that are set for a reason. Maybe having a local therapist would work better for you?
elisewin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-21-2019, 01:09 PM #9
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,066
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
Grand Magnate
Anne2.0 elephant walks on
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,066

5 yr Member
132 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

Quote:
Originally Posted by mindmechanic View Post
Her schedule is very tight and has limited availability.
Did you try to change your schedule to make it during her stated availability, or are you unable or unwilling to be more flexible?

And I think it's a hard argument for any client to think they have the same status as that of a game to a sports fan.
Anne2.0 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-21-2019, 01:28 PM #10
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 8,442
SlumberKitty SlumberKitty is offline
Wise Elder
SlumberKitty's Avatar
SlumberKitty is working on it.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 8,442 (SuperPoster!)

20.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Visiting therapist and weekend session

I'm sorry your therapist is unable or unwilling to see you on the weekend. I can see how that would be hurtful. I think that like others said, she has a personal boundary about not working on the weekends, and it sounds like she had plans that particular weekend. I know that is disappointing because you are traveling, it sounds, to see her. It does sound like a therapist who is closer to you might be better. HUGS to you, Kit
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero
SlumberKitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:57 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.