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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,697
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
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#61
Quote:
"When there is a storm, and you stand in front of a tree, if you look at it's branches, you swear it will fall, But if you watch the trunk, you will see it's stability." I've been in a slump for around a month since failing pharma, which is just starting to ease up but it's still there in the background. My rupture with R is still ongoing. I know no would would minimize it, but it feels silly to post about it because I know I don't react, but over react to everything. Sometimes I just find it hard to join in with the conversation here. I'm still doing the gym thing, but with my all or nothing brain I'm going 5-6 times a week which gets tiring and I've recently started studying at my favorite coffee shop just taking my books to I have less distractions. Mixed in with life on wards,it's busy. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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Echos Myron redux, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, NP_Complete, Omers, SalingerEsme, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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SalingerEsme
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Luna's offical mini me.
Member Since May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,697
(SuperPoster!)
6 10.2k hugs
given |
#62
Quote:
My middle name is chocolate. Mrs S chocolate Crane. Mrs S chocolate Crane. Mrs S chocolate Crane. I started buying Ritter sport bars with wholenuts. Think it explains me so well. __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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Omers, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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CantExplain
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
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#63
Opened up my computer this morning and the reminders popped up... next thing on my calendar? T!!!
Ok, now back to my usual morning chill until I have tea and breakfast. __________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
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#64
My reaction to therapy appointments was never happy. Mostly I threw up beforehand
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
Omers
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CantExplain
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Guest
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#65
My reaction was almost always happy but sometimes I was a bundle of nervous energy either because I was pissed at her and afraid to say so or because of a particular topic I knew we were going to talk about.
I realized a few days ago something about that whole "be serious about the work" thing with her - I think she really thought that I was "serious" only when I was miserable and bawling! The last time I was there, I was like that, and I swear she was all enthused about it, as she said that was the most "real" she'd seen me. Why? Why am I so real to her only when I'm in misery?! There is something wrong there. |
LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Omers, SlumberKitty
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
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#66
I don't think it was because she only thought you were real when you were in misery but rather because she thought you were actually realizing who you are rather than running from it or hiding behind external excuses about it.
__________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
atisketatasket
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2010
Location: Crimson cattery
Posts: 3,512
13 3,133 hugs
given |
#67
Quote:
__________________ There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#68
Wasn’t the occasion of your last session you coming out to your husband, art? I can see why she would be happy about that, thinking you were taking what you worked on in therapy and applying it irl.
And I don’t think doing the work means how much waterworks there are in session. Lucillinda doesn’t seem cruel like that. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
SlumberKitty, stopdog, WarmFuzzySocks
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Guest
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#69
It feels that way in retrospect.
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CantExplain, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
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12 1 hugs
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#70
But you know that feelings are not fact.
To me, this seems part of your pattern. You loved her and wanted to talk to her and write poetry about it but wouldn't let yourself call her again, and now you are making yourself feel bad about the therapy. You bonk high and then low __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
CantExplain
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#71
I know you feel that way. But do you feel that way because Lucy in the sky with diamonds had a history of being cruel to you? Or are you using it to hurt yourself—upset yourself, tell yourself this woman who is so important to you was actually some sort of sadist? To cause yourself pain? (This is what I do with No. 3.) __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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stopdog, WarmFuzzySocks
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Guest
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#72
True, but then opinions stated on an online forum aren't necessarily facts either. I'm not trying to be mean by saying that. I'm just trying to work things out.
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SlumberKitty
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CantExplain
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#73
Quote:
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SlumberKitty
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
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#74
Quote:
I have no stake in whether you agree with my observation or not. I was trying, perhaps misguided, help you not feel as bad about therapy with her by observing that in my understanding of your posts, you do this extreme reaction to your feelings about her quite often. My point was more that you might be able to control making yourself miserable or at least less rollercoastery. But admittedly - it looks horribly painful to me from the outside. It may be very different for you on the inside. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
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WarmFuzzySocks
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Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#75
I didn’t say you were. Implication is conscious. But I do think when you’re upset because you don’t know what Lovender (one of these days I will get her name) meant by something, you’re the one who suffers. And yet when you discuss it with her, most of the time she meant nothing bad or critical by what she said. So I’d hold onto that and not start thinking she equated tears with doing work in therapy and turn that into something wrong about her. Just hang on to the good times with her. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
SlumberKitty, stopdog, WarmFuzzySocks
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Guest
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#76
I wasn't trying to start an argument
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SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Guest
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#77
I wish to heck that for once in my damn life I could just be right about something. Rant over.
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CantExplain, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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underdog is here
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,728
(SuperPoster!)
12 1 hugs
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#78
I am not trying to argue with you either.
If you want to be right that the therapist only did X or Y when you were miserable - have at it. __________________ Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Mar 22, 2019 at 10:15 AM.. |
Child of a lesser god
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,147
(SuperPoster!)
8 12.4k hugs
given |
#79
Quote:
You are right about the way you feel: you feel it was cruel of her to say that. Beyond that, you may or may not be right about what she meant. I am just trying to help you not cause yourself emotional pain. Sorry that I missed the mark. __________________ The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.—Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
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SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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stopdog
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Guest
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#80
It's all good. I just still suck at what I see as me trying to learn how to stand up for myself.
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LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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Closed Thread |
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