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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 01:03 PM
  #201
@ Omers I once told former T that the music in her office sounded like music in a Russian movie just before someone kills themselves. I watch kind of a lot of Russian movies (in Russian with English Subtitles). I never heard her play that CD again.

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #202
When my t had a waiting room (my first year seeing her) I loved it. They played something like classical music as i recall, but nothing I ever really recognized. Testing my memory that was a long tima ago...
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 01:16 PM
  #203
Uh, T, I really like your waiting room but I am starting to think you forgot me or I screwed something up... but hubby has the same time and day written down from the sheet you gave me. Anxiety is off the charts

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 02:14 PM
  #204
I went to a funeral this weekend for someone younger than me. I didn't know him, but I know his Grandma, she goes to my Church. It was sad because he was so young. At least he didn't leave any children behind. Kind of sad. HUGS Kit

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 02:22 PM
  #205
Sorry to hear, Kit. Loss is loss, whoever, whatever.

Take care,

Lost

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 02:58 PM
  #206
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Originally Posted by QuietMind View Post
The last time I reminded them both of us agreed with T not to talk about therapy with each other, they said small talk that occurred in session didn't count, or how they felt about their sessions. I didn't know how to react to that.

So they continue to say things like "T will be away xyz to xyz", "T looks skinnier", "T said she had to rush her lunch.", "Session with T was hard", "T looked happy to see me", "T seemed frustrated with me".

And I don't know how to tell them I want to hear absolutely nothing because I don't know how to answer if they ask "why". I also feel like a giant hypocrite because when they're depressed, I do suggest "maybe you might want to bring forward your appointment..."

They're not a close friend though I care about them. I really damn wish T wasn't the ONLY therapist left in the clinic willing to work with complex trauma....not that I or they can stop seeing T because we're both long term clients with more than a year of history with T before we discovered we shared the same T.

I just feel so effing guilty that I don't have money problems while they do and I actually loan them money without ever asking for money back...I guess my guilt is strong.
It's okay to say you don't want X mentioned at all.I might sound cold but if S is not willing to even compromise and it's a trigger for you, i would reduce the time spent with him/her.

Another thing that stands out for me is the last bit. A saying I learnt recently: "you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm". It's nice to be kind. If you can genuinely afford to give it as a one of gift. Not so much when it becomes expected that you will bail them out and the amounts increase. I think there then just comes a line where you realise that you are being taken for a ride. How much have you loaned already?

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:11 PM
  #207
The last couple days I’ve had a permanent stomachache. I’m guessing it’s from eating gluten.

I can’t imagine the people who live with this for years without diagnosis. As far as I know this just started in the last year for me.

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:17 PM
  #208
I hope you feel better soon @@

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 03:45 PM
  #209
Quietmind, i agree with lemoncake. your post this morning made me think about how my not being assertive enough FOR myself has really hurt me. Not setting yourself on fire to warm someone else is something i can relate to!

I always would think "well, if they want this, i can afford it." It was only ever about if i could AFFORD it - did i feel rich enough? So it was always "poor them, rich me" - thats not good either, as a focus.
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:29 PM
  #210
The dog wash people can find my house, the take away people can find my house, how come the parcel delivery people cant
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #211
My Smash Poetry Journal came today! Now I am ready for the poem a day challenge starting april 1!
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 06:57 PM
  #212
The next lab assignment for my Astronomy class is gonna be fun and interesting both. We have to research 7 of the moons and 3 minor planets in our Solar System and write a paper about one interesting geologic feature of each, and include pictures (properly cited of course). I love assignments like this.
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:04 PM
  #213
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The next lab assignment for my Astronomy class is gonna be fun and interesting both. We have to research 7 of the moons and 3 minor planets in our Solar System and write a paper about one interesting geologic feature of each, and include pictures (properly cited of course). I love assignments like this.
Because no math, right?

What makes a planet minor?
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:23 PM
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Because no math, right?


What makes a planet minor?
Exactly.

And, I don't know. Yet!
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:24 PM
  #215
It occurs to me that two different things from today's session tie into the show "House." One being rhabdomyolysis (sp?), which I brought up in reference to symptoms my H had experienced after a long run (it wasn't that). And the other was T later in the session mentioning Occam's Razor, which I know is a common term, but I mainly know it from a "House" episode with the same title.

Also, T handed me his phone to read something on today (that he'd looked up on Wikipedia, regarding the thing with H), and it felt sort of weird. Like I read it really quickly, didn't scroll down at all, and handed it back to him. I'm sure it's probably something he does all the time, I just felt strange holding his phone.
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:25 PM
  #216
Therapist cooties?
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:26 PM
  #217
i know what you mean about holding t's phone. i had to hold L's phone when i'd use my finger to sign my name on her square app thing after she ran my hsa card. i couldn't manage to write with my finger when she was holding it haha cuz my hand would shake. i'm such a dork.
 
 
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:36 PM
  #218
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Therapist cooties?

Lol. Well, I shake his hand at the end, so if I was worried about that... More that I was holding something of his, I think? Like it felt personal?
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 07:38 PM
  #219
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i know what you mean about holding t's phone. i had to hold L's phone when i'd use my finger to sign my name on her square app thing after she ran my hsa card. i couldn't manage to write with my finger when she was holding it haha cuz my hand would shake. i'm such a dork.

Glad you understand! And glad my T has one of those credit card machines, and then I just sign on a piece of paper. Though there's an awkwardness to that, too. And the handing the paper back to him and shaking his hand. I've also absentmindedly put the signed paper in my purse before and I think also almost taken his pen.
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 08:28 PM
  #220
I hug my T but will NOT touch anything in his office unless he makes me. Touching something of his personally... oh man... I think I would totally trigger and be in the fetal position in the corner!

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