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Lrad123
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Default Mar 24, 2019 at 02:26 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by octoberful View Post
Lrad, do you have ideas in mind if you were to take a guess?
I have no idea, really, since he discloses so little, but the idea of having intimacy needs fulfilled at a safe distance sure resonates for me in my own work. Maybe that’s why he does it too. I have told my T that I sometimes feel like I’m being selfish in a way in my work because I’m fulfilled by the interactions I have with people who are suffering. I assume he feels fulfilled by his job also, and has told me that at least indirectly. Maybe I’ll try bringing this up with him and see where it goes.
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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 10:06 AM
  #22
yes I've asked him this question before and he answered it for me

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 12:53 PM
  #23
I never asked any of my t's. With former T, I think it was the process of her going through some trauma (natural disaster) and the process of therapy itself that made her change careers. With current T, I have no idea. I do know of some of the other jobs she's had and they've been all over the place, working at Disneyland, being an editor, working in a bank, etc. HUGS Kit

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Default Mar 25, 2019 at 02:38 PM
  #24
I have not asked. But she must have known that's what she wanted to do pretty early on because I think she must have gone straight from her undergrad to graduate school considering how long she has been practicing and how old she is.

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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 08:32 PM
  #25
The ones I saw... I'd say many of them were lured by the promise of tightly controlled relationships conducted in private. There are no witnesses. If it goes badly, the client can be eliminated and quickly replaced. Down the memory hole. And the relationships are structured such that the therapist is built up and becomes the center of attention. This is probably irresistible for some who feel powerless or inferior. It's all so creepy.

eta: By "some who feel powerless or inferior" I mean therapists.

Last edited by BudFox; Mar 26, 2019 at 09:04 PM..
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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 08:44 PM
  #26
I haven't asked current t. Old t was abused and became a t to help other abuse victims.
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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 08:48 PM
  #27
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And the relationships are structured such that the therapist is built up and becomes the center of attention. This is probably irresistible for some who feel powerless or inferior.
That was me, somewhat. I had all different parts, but...one of my primary patterns was to be helpless but be dependent on a stronger other who would protect me and somehow rescue me. Being preoccupied with the stronger, more important other kept me from experiencing feelings of depression.

That's an oversimplification, but my T didn't engage in my pattern, which is one reason I felt distress from the therapy, falling into feelings of hopelessness.

His not fufilling those needs sort of forced me to change.
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Default Mar 26, 2019 at 10:03 PM
  #28
Mine said because he likes solving puzzles lol
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Default Mar 28, 2019 at 12:20 PM
  #29
Mine had cruddy parents, I think.
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 03:29 PM
  #30
Alcohol issues in the family and because she wanted to help people! So she said anyway. I remember asking her when I first started seeing her
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 04:08 PM
  #31
I never asked my first T but, based on what I know about him, he had a lot of therapy himself starting when he was in college and claims that people are his passion. I also think he is the classic example of the T who loves client attention and adoration. The guy is also very insecure and clearly has many issues, so perhaps he feels in good company with clients who struggle.

Second T did a few other things before becoming a T. Started in more corporate type business - first in his family's industry, then in management for other companies. A few years in research, which he originally planned to be his longer term career. Then back in sales for a couple years. But then he found that he was much more driven by his interests and interactions with people even in a corporate or research setting, dropped out of the research-oriented PhD program and did a masters in social work. He considers communication and relating as one of his main strength and likes the freedom coming with a private practice. Also the income as his fee is on the high end of a generally very expensive area. He is a very interactive therapist, even outside of session, so I believe he enjoys interactions with people about stuff that is not trivia.
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