advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Rive1976
Grand Poohbah
 
Rive1976's Avatar
Rive1976 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,740
5 yr Member
144 hugs
given
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 09:31 PM
  #1
So I have alters that are young there is one in particular having a hard time. He is having super motherly needs from my therapist. I cant seem to discuss this with her and I know she is going to ask about it next week because of something I said in an email. How do I tell her he wants to cut because he is hurting and needs attention from her. That is going to be majorly weird. What would you do?
Rive1976 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
amandalouise
Wise Elder
 
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
Posts: 9,133
15 yr Member
884 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 23, 2019 at 11:54 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
So I have alters that are young there is one in particular having a hard time. He is having super motherly needs from my therapist. I cant seem to discuss this with her and I know she is going to ask about it next week because of something I said in an email. How do I tell her he wants to cut because he is hurting and needs attention from her. That is going to be majorly weird. What would you do?
ummm if I had alters who wanted to cut because they wanted my therapists attention my therapist would have said that it was time to stop working together.

why because that would mean my therapist wasnt doing their job right with me, making me too dependent on the therapist instead of learning how to take care of myself and my problems...

in other words a breach of ethics that mental health treatment providers have to work by...

maybe since you can talk with this alter and knows what this alter wants to do maybe you can help the alter to find better ways to get a therapists attention... like therapists love it when you work out problems and find creative solutions...

example when my alters wanted to hurt their self and me instead of doing that for attention we got more attention by telling my treatment provider how we felt and what we did about it... instead of cutting for attention we painted a nice picture for our therapists shelf.

this way instead of having to go to the hospital for being unsafe and not see our treatment provider, which is what our treatment provider would have had to do, we instead got a hug and huge thanks, for making the good decisions to not cut and for painting the picture.

maybe you and this alter can find a better way to get attention from your therapist.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Amyjay
Magnate
Amyjay has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
5 yr Member
692 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 24, 2019 at 12:45 AM
  #3
My T reflects things like this back on to the system. What does this part need? How does cutting help him? Every behavior is an attempt to communicate or satisfy a need. My T would ask our system to reflect on what this alter wants and needs and call on our internal compassion to help him. It all comes back to us, not T. How can we find a way to help this alter.
Often when we have a young one with such a strong need an older compassionate one steps in to help. It wasn't always that way and it took time to develop. But the focus has always been away from T and on to our system to help. T is not there for 167 hours a week. We are.

It might help to reframe it to say What is it that he needs from YOU? That's not to say that you are able to give that right now. But awareness is the first step to developing more communication. Baby steps.
Amyjay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127, koru_kiwi
Anne2.0
Grand Magnate
Anne2.0 elephant walks on
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Anonymous
Posts: 3,132
10 yr Member
129 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 24, 2019 at 08:27 AM
  #4
Amyjay's perspective seems right on to me. You've struggled with cutting in the past, and having this insight about the young one and maternal needs seems like a step forward to me.

My experience is different than yours in terms of how my internal world is structured, but I found that listening rather than ignoring my internal needs (I think communication is what Amyjay is emphasizing) went a long way towards soothing any younger part.
Anne2.0 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:39 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.