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Old 03-24-2019, 08:54 PM #1
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Default Starting to get annoyed

So I talked to my therapist last week and asked her if she thought I had alters or parts. She said that she agrees with the person who diagnosed as she doesnt know much about dissociative disorders. I emailed her telling her I was having trouble believing they were real. I asked her if she believed they were real and she once again did not give my a straight forward answer and said they arr real to you right? Will they be there forever? Most likely not. Why cant she just tell me what she thinks? Hoe can she help me if she doesnt believe me?
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Old 03-24-2019, 09:08 PM #2
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

It doesn't sound like she thinks you are lying or anything like that Dnester.

She can't really give you straight,solid answers.She is not in your mind and alters are not something she can prove or disprove with 100% certainty.
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Old 03-25-2019, 12:09 AM #3
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

The email was to your therapist, not the person who diagnosed you, right? Is there a way to get an appointment with the person who diagnosed you to get some more understanding about alters from her since she has more knowledge about dissociative disorders? To me, talking about alters or parts is a way of talking about my internal experience so that therapists and I could discuss some things that aren't usually talked about in ordinary life. Since your internal experience is unquestionably something that you experience, it's real in that way, whether you use the language of parts or something else.
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Old 03-25-2019, 01:06 AM #4
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
To me, talking about alters or parts is a way of talking about my internal experience so that therapists and I could discuss some things that aren't usually talked about in ordinary life.Since your internal experience is unquestionably something that you experience, it's real in that way, whether you use the language of parts or something else.


this was my experience when working with my T, who had no prior experience working with a DID client until i came along. for a long time i worried that he didn't believe me and a part of that was because i too struggled with being in a conflicted denial of what my internal experience was and doubted that it was even possible that i had split off into different insiders (alters). this is such a common occurrence among those newly diagnosed with DID/DDNOS/OSDD and i found a lot of reassurance in learning that fact as i met others online who also were struggling with the existence of their DID/DDNOS diagnosis. i believe i was using my doubts about my Ts beliefs as a way to avoid and fuel my own doubts about my own experiences and a stalling method to avoid facing the dark truths about me and my early childhood traumas. it's scary coming to terms (acknowledging and accepting) that ones childhood experiences were so damaging that the best way, and a very creative one for that matter, to survive was to split and fragment off into different dissociated parts.

to this day, i'm still not even positive if my ex-T fully believes in DID or not. and honestly, in the end, it really doesn't matter, because throughout my therapy with him he was willing to work with what he often called my 'split off' and fragmented parts. what was most important was that he was able to listen to what my internal experiences were as he acknowledged each of my insiders (alters) and helped me to work towards forming connections and relationships with them within my internal system and with others in my life, including him.


just wondering, have you been able to find a welcoming and helpful DID online support source to share these concerns of yours? i recall you asking about some a little while back.
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:18 AM #5
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

Clearly you believe you have alters/parts, as you posted something recently about working with a younger part. And I also think that your therapist believes you have them, or she wouldn't say that she agreed with the diagnosis.

It's not your therapist's job to believe you or not, but to work with what you believe. It's not her job to tell you what to do with your life, or what to watch on TV or what music to listen to. It might be her job to help you discover any of these things that are interesting or important to you.

And the answers to your specific questions are really unknowable, so that is a "straight answer."
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Old 03-25-2019, 07:33 AM #6
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

I think most of us with DID or OSDD-1 have at some point or another a difficult time accepting the reality, and / or feeling like we're making it all up. My thought is that a good T is very careful to let you work through these feelings of denial or shame without them 'guiding' you in one direction or another.
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Old 03-25-2019, 08:12 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parva View Post
I think most of us with DID or OSDD-1 have at some point or another a difficult time accepting the reality, and / or feeling like we're making it all up.
In my experience, this is also true for survivors of abuse, childhood or otherwise. I've also witnessed people who grew up with just about any dysfunction or difficult life experience (including grief) have trouble accepting that yes, the neglect/criticism/bullying/misttreatment from others, was really THAT bad. Perhaps coming to terms with those things that cause you pain is something of a universal struggle and it doesn't matter what caused the pain. The only people I've met who haven't struggled much with difficult/traumatic events are those that don't involve perpetration/mistreatment by others, such as survivors of floods, airplane crashes, other natural disasters. Maybe because the reality of the thing is in pictures and otherwise validated by the news or objective sources, or maybe it's just that I haven't met a lot of people whose traumas are caused by disaster as opposed to the disasters that are human relationships.
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Old 03-25-2019, 11:59 AM #8
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
The email was to your therapist, not the person who diagnosed you, right? Is there a way to get an appointment with the person who diagnosed you to get some more understanding about alters from her since she has more knowledge about dissociative disorders? To me, talking about alters or parts is a way of talking about my internal experience so that therapists and I could discuss some things that aren't usually talked about in ordinary life. Since your internal experience is unquestionably something that you experience, it's real in that way, whether you use the language of parts or something else.
My problem is I dont trust anybody to tell me this is OSDD and I dont trust them that its not. I exspecially dont trust her because her reviews say that she gives that diagnosis freely. I may have the opportunity to see a new DID/EMDR therapist in May that is unbiased to others diagnosis. So that may be good.
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Old 03-25-2019, 12:02 PM #9
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

Quote:
Originally Posted by koru_kiwi View Post


this was my experience when working with my T, who had no prior experience working with a DID client until i came along. for a long time i worried that he didn't believe me and a part of that was because i too struggled with being in a conflicted denial of what my internal experience was and doubted that it was even possible that i had split off into different insiders (alters). this is such a common occurrence among those newly diagnosed with DID/DDNOS/OSDD and i found a lot of reassurance in learning that fact as i met others online who also were struggling with the existence of their DID/DDNOS diagnosis. i believe i was using my doubts about my Ts beliefs as a way to avoid and fuel my own doubts about my own experiences and a stalling method to avoid facing the dark truths about me and my early childhood traumas. it's scary coming to terms (acknowledging and accepting) that ones childhood experiences were so damaging that the best way, and a very creative one for that matter, to survive was to split and fragment off into different dissociated parts.

to this day, i'm still not even positive if my ex-T fully believes in DID or not. and honestly, in the end, it really doesn't matter, because throughout my therapy with him he was willing to work with what he often called my 'split off' and fragmented parts. what was most important was that he was able to listen to what my internal experiences were as he acknowledged each of my insiders (alters) and helped me to work towards forming connections and relationships with them within my internal system and with others in my life, including him.


just wondering, have you been able to find a welcoming and helpful DID online support source to share these concerns of yours? i recall you asking about some a little while back.

No I havent. The one I want to join is 39 dollars a month and I cant afford that.
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Old 03-25-2019, 12:29 PM #10
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Default Re: Starting to get annoyed

I just dont understand what else this could be. The other night I was trying to go to sleep and the thought shh Timmy its time to go to sleep popped in my head. I know no one named Timmy. Then there is another part of me that thinks this is just some other weird disorder. 4 or 5 names have been mentioned of no one I know in a 4 month span.
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