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Old 03-26-2019, 03:49 PM #1
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Default Going back. Maybe.

Hi everyone.

Last year around this time, my T left the city to go take care of a friend who was ill, and basically blew off her clients while she was gone. When she returned, she wanted to pick up where she had left off, but I had moved on.

My year of no-therapy was kind of restful, and there wasn't much deep going on in my life.

Now, a year later, I'm having some new issues -- mostly having to do with my family-of-origin and finances. Very different stuff than I was handling before, with my last T. On top of these new issues, I'm facing some real challenges at my current job and looking for something new. My stress level is really high.

It's been a while since I searched for a therapist. I don't want to call my last ghostly one and ask for referrals. SO.....

How do I start? Cold calls? Internet reviews? Drive around town looking for small offices? Help line? Local college department?

Can you give me some hints for starting from scratch? I think I want someone who does CBT...something to help me with acceptance of some tough realities in the here and now.
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Old 03-26-2019, 04:01 PM #2
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

Old calls... talk with them on the phone... see if they will agree to a short face to face meeting before committing.
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Old 03-26-2019, 04:23 PM #3
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

Are you in the US? Try Psychology Today. They have listings of therapist in your zip code with a little bio of each along with what insurance they take, sliding scale yes or no, fees, etc. It's been helpful in my previous searches, although my current T isn't on it. Another idea is to call your insurance company and get a list of approved practitioners, or use your insurance website. HUGS Kit.
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:57 PM #4
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

If you have a good relationship with another doctor - for example, GP, OB-GYN, or psychiatrist - they may have some recommendations for you. I find personal recommendations have been most beneficial.

Therapist hunting sucks. I hope you find someone to work with soon.
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Old 03-26-2019, 11:54 PM #5
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

I personally don't think CBT is especially good for helping anybody accept tough realities. In my opinion, it encourages optimism rather than realism. In fact, I sometimes think people are encouraged to fool themselves about hard realities via mental gymnastics with CBT. Maybe that's helpful for people who are very emotional and not very logical, and therefore need to be taught methods to distinguish facts from emotions. I don't know. But I definitely wouldn't have thought CBT would help with accepting hard realities. I've always heard it been billed as something that would help someone realize their fears/beliefs weren't true. I could of course be wrong.
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:58 AM #6
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

I have never been attracted to a therapist who said they practiced CBT, but I think there are more thoughtful and reflective versions of CBT that I find more kinship with, especially after I read a book based on some of the underlying CBT "beliefs." What is called "Radical Acceptance" (see book by author Tara Brach) may be what you're after.

I very much dislike interviewing T's, every one of the 4 times I've done it, the number of therapists I don't click with or who don't seem promising in any way (like I couldn't stand to be in the room with them, even if it was a free consultation) is overwhelming to me. The best way I've found therapists in my relatively small city is to ask people for recommendations-- if I don't want to disclose it's for me, I describe it as being for a client or a colleague or a neighbor (all of which have been true at various points). You can also just ask, "do you know of any therapist around who would be good for someone looking for dealing with family of origin issues?" (I don't see financial problems as a specialty per se). You don't have to say it's for you. I'm sorry that you are experiencing current day difficulties, and I hope things improve.
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Old 03-27-2019, 12:51 PM #7
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

For me, I have found that referrals from other providers who know me has been the most beneficial. The one time I used psychology today to find somebody in my area, it was a nightmare.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:51 PM #8
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

If you are planning to use insurance, start there. If not, then you have to figure out what your own parameters are. For instance, beyond insurance (absolute requirement for me), location matters since I would be going generally from work, end of day, traffic, etc. How far can I reasonably travel? Then I might run some general searches within that area for therapists. I know what gender therapist I prefer. I know what credentials I prefer. Once I get a few names, I'd explore their webpage if they have one. I might read reviews although I haven't found they are very helpful for therapists (usually are very few reviews unlike medical doctors where there are usually quite a few). Then at that point I'd call whichever therapist seems to most closely meet my criteria and make an appointment. The only real way I've ever found to really know is to simply sit down with them and get a feel for their style/personality, etc. (that goes pretty much for any doctor I would go to also).

Once I have that first session, I've always just gone with my gut (which has been pretty accurate). I usually knew almost immediately if a therapist was going to be a good fit for me. There were a few that I gave a 2nd or 3rd shot at just to be sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions too soon, but inevitably if I didn't feel it that first session, I didn't stick with them (and never regretted not going back to those I was wary of or unimpressed by).
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:15 PM #9
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
Are you in the US? Try Psychology Today. They have listings of therapist in your zip code with a little bio of each along with what insurance they take, sliding scale yes or no, fees, etc. It's been helpful in my previous searches, although my current T isn't on it. Another idea is to call your insurance company and get a list of approved practitioners, or use your insurance website. HUGS Kit.
Thank you ..I did not know this!
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:15 PM #10
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Default Re: Going back. Maybe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyOne View Post
If you have a good relationship with another doctor - for example, GP, OB-GYN, or psychiatrist - they may have some recommendations for you. I find personal recommendations have been most beneficial.

Therapist hunting sucks. I hope you find someone to work with soon.
Thank you! I agree that it sucks! It's part of why I have been putting this off.
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