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Old 04-01-2019, 09:32 PM #1
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Default Would you try this T?

Hi all

I have a question for you. So baby T is fine and all. No issues really, other than his scheduling is terrible. I usually end up having 3 slots to pick from for the whole week and it's on any random day. Sometimes it's nearly 2 weeks. I also hate having to go through the front desk to deal with scheduling etc as he has no email or voicemail access.

So I decided a few weeks ago to email a few other T's. One of them I really liked his answers to my questions in my email. He seems willing to deal with my statements like "I'm not interested in any sort of bonding and wont tolerate any judgement of what I tell you about my T" --he REALLY impressed me because when I made the intake appointment 2 weeks ago he told me this past week he would be on vacation so I could see him April 3. He replied to 2 emails I had send on that trip.

I emailed because, unfortunately, I discovered even though he accept my insurance, he isn't in network on my specific plan. I wanted to let him know. He ended up calling and was told the same thing and has decided to apply because he wants to be open on all networks

Anyway... so he emailed me today saying it's about a 3 month process to get in network. He says he is more than willing to still meet me this Wed to see if we are a good fit or I can wait

Here's the kicker... his fee without insurance is 100$ a session. I don't know how I feel about 400$ a month if I go every week. He offered 60$ sessions the day of but you gotta call each day and hope there is an open slot.

So anyway... would you try him still this Wed? Or just wait? I'm really unsure what to do

I should also mention that baby T told me sometime this year he is moving locations. I wont be following him. So I will potentially need another T if there is a need for me to go back to therapy after this.
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Old 04-01-2019, 10:32 PM #2
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

I would at least try it, then even if you have to wait for him to be in network you have an emergency back up but you have someone. If it does work a true, good T is worth their weight in gold. I canít tell you what a different experience it is for me with a T that fits even though I wasnít sure at first as opposed to Tís that never clicked even if I liked them.
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Old 04-01-2019, 11:52 PM #3
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

Yeah, I'd give him a shot. But only calling for the $60 sessions. Or go this Wednesday for the full intake then see.
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:16 AM #4
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

I'd personally be bothered to constantly call about whether I can see my T since I couldn't plan anything around it and have other stuff to do. If that kind of planning is okay with you and you can and want to spare 60 bucks each time you see him, I'd probably try it.
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Old 04-02-2019, 03:58 AM #5
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

No the randomly calling for 60$ thing bugs me too. I'm anxious enough with baby t and not having the Same weekday. That's why I'm looking at it as 100 a session

The interesting thing about the other one is he has an online thing i sign up for and can see how open days for 3 months out and schedule online what i want
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Old 04-02-2019, 04:33 AM #6
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers View Post
I would at least try it, then even if you have to wait for him to be in network you have an emergency back up but you have someone. If it does work a true, good T is worth their weight in gold. I canít tell you what a different experience it is for me with a T that fits even though I wasnít sure at first as opposed to Tís that never clicked even if I liked them.
The only thing is.. i don't want a click or bond or anything. That's why baby t has worked for me. I go, i chat, I'm detached and leave

I'd quit instantly if i felt any sort of closeness again. I'm done with that with people but yes you are right about at least know the option as a backup or i can eliminate him as an option too

He's very nice and that's great but scares the hell outta me. I'd probably eliminate him if he was super nice
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Old 04-02-2019, 05:54 AM #7
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DP_2017 View Post
He's very nice and that's great but scares the hell outta me.
I donít know why, but my gut reaction based on this sentence is that you should give him a try. Maybe itís just my own thing, though, because from the beginning therapy has scared the hell out of me (avoidant here!) but Iíve decided to (mostly) show up anyway. You sound kind of interested and it canít hurt to just meet him and have him for an option down the road when heís in-network. Also, I think the fact that heís been responsive is a good sign. Who knows what youíll think when you actually meet him, but it canít hurt to try. Curious what you end up doing.
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Old 04-02-2019, 06:12 AM #8
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

Ya i just don't wanna be sucked into the therapeutic relationship and lose focus on why im there and having a life outside therapy. Typically i dont attach and im way more guarded now than before. I know what not to do and when to leave.

I don't see it happening again but it's like the kindness and the email stuff could throw me off. I need to remain guarded and distant this time so i can get done what i need to. No time for silly fantasy relationships

So yes he's nice and that's great but if i go and he's super friendly. I wont return. I need someone like baby t who i can remain detached with. I think I'm probably gonna end up waiting a few weeks or so. I don't see much point in 1 session and not affording much else for 3 months. Might as well stick with baby t right now as ****** as his schedule is for me
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Old 04-02-2019, 07:17 AM #9
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

I spend money on all kinds of things that do far less for me than therapy. And some things cost a lot less than therapy that help me more in different ways. Last year I only had insurance for about half the year. I paid out of pocket, both for myself and when my teen wanted to go, because it was a good use of my money. It's an investment in yourself and I think $100 to see if this might work for you is money well spent. I think attaching value to your well-being and spending your money on things that support that is a good thing. Doesn't mean it has to be therapy, but if therapy improves your well being then I would go for it.
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Old 04-02-2019, 07:32 AM #10
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Default Re: Would you try this T?

Well I emailed him asking if he had anything today since I could get the cheaper rate, otherwise I will go tomorrow

I was 100% honest in my initial email about baby T and he's ok with it, so I told him if I think he could be a good fit, I will probably wait about a month to really get started regularly with him. I still have baby T in the meantime and likely who I'll stick with anyway. Once he moves I'll probably be done

HOWEVER.... I know at least for a while next year I will need therapy again. I've told baby T and he agrees, IF I am gonna make the choice to reach out to my T at the end of next year, I need to be mentally prepared for it. Meaning, I have to be ok with ALL possible outcomes. Right now, I know I'm not there. So there would be some time next year I would need to focus on that too

Anyway so I still see baby T on thurs this week. We are gonna actually talk about my self worth issues instead of t and since next week is my would be 2 yr with T. He has given me 2 sessions already for that, so I would skip that week anyway with this other T. No need for therapy 3x a week.

I will see what happens.
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