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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#1
Hi Everyone. I was supposed to have therapy tonight at 5 but my therapist called and said she had a family emergency and needed to cancel, and that she would have the office call to reschedule me. The last time I saw her was the 18th of March, so almost a month. The office hasn't called to reschedule me yet but I wouldn't be surprised if it was another month before I got in. I'm feeling let down that I don't have therapy tonight. It means I can go to my volunteer position, but, I would have rather gone to therapy. Funny because last week I was really not feeling it, like I wasn't looking forward to my therapy appointment but that changed over the weekend, and suddenly I was looking forward to it.
I also have a decision to make. I have given up SH for Lent and my T was pushing me a bit to extend that decision out. Without her accountability, because I won't be seeing her so she won't be pushing me, I will be easy for me to not feel like I need to extend it out. I don't want to let myself off easy but I feel like, well she wasn't there for me, so it doesn't matter. I feel a little abandoned, even though I know logically that is not what happened. And it is a little ridiculous to feel abandoned. I just feel like I don't have the support that I would have liked to have had. Especially because I was having SUI thoughts/feelings this past weekend, and now I have no help with them for another however long. I guess I'm whining. I'd like to be heard. Thanks all. Kit __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Poohbah
coolibrarian
Coolibrarian is feeling anxious.
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
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#2
I hear you Kit, and will PM you with a suggestion.
--Cool __________________ In a world where you can be anything, be kind. ; |
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Grand Poohbah
SalingerEsme
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Neverland
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#3
It’s a sad feeling to m get canceled suddenly. Your T should make a special effort to see you promptly after the emergency resolves . 2 months is too long.
__________________ Living things don’t all require/ light in the same degree. Louise Gluck |
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SlumberKitty
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Luna's offical mini me.
Lemoncake
Adult female human
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Cafe Nervosa.
Posts: 9,646
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#4
Quote:
I wouldn't be able to see someone who couldn't schedule me sooner if I needed it. Dealing with SUI thoughts/feelings is so very hard. How long have you been seeing this T? Would you consider seeing someone else. You could keep her as back up T? __________________ "Love, like life, flows Through the heart. Feel the thrill of the flow And say nothing." |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#5
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Magnate
guilloche
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Location: US
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#6
Oh gosh, it's so hard to find a T that's a good fit - but wow. Even once a month seems really really difficult, unless you're very close to finishing up. I hope that they call soon, and make it a priority to get you in.
I'd be really upset about my T canceling on me with short notice, even if it's a good reason. It just is a crappy situation, honestly. It would be easier if she could at least have a plan... like if she'd open up an emergency spot to see you within a couple days. *hugs* good luck! |
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SlumberKitty
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Magnate
ElectricManatee
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: Earth
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#7
I couldn't handle once a month unless I was right on the cusp of being ready to leave therapy altogether. It seems like it would be impossible to get the momentum to make progress at that rate. I also think it's very understandable to feel disappointed and abandoned, even if your T has a perfectly good reason for canceling.
It sounds like things have just barely gotten started with this T, so maybe you can use this unintentional "break" to look around for a new T. My T is a good fit for me, but I probably wouldn't have chosen her based on her Psychology Today profile, if it had existed at the time. It might be worth trying out a few "maybes" and seeing what happens. |
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SlumberKitty
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Grand Poohbah
HD7970GHZ
"Primum Non Nocere"
Member Since: Sep 2013
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#8
Hi Slumberkitty,
I am sorry to hear that your therapist has cancelled on you. That is such a difficult thing to deal with! I think your therapist has inadvertently ruptured your relationship and I hope she makes an effort to repair things. It isn't fair, especially when you've built rapport and especially when you want her help. Have you told your therapist how much this affects you? I hope things improve for you. Thanks, HD7970ghz __________________ "stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget" "roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles" "the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy" "don't put all your eggs - in one basket" "promote pleasure - prevent pain" "with change - comes loss" |
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SlumberKitty
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Poohbah
piggy momma
loves all pigs. ALL. THE. PIGS.
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
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#9
Oh man that is really difficult. I’m sorry you got cancelled on, especially when you’re struggling so much.
I won’t repeat what has already been said, but I will encourage you to try to continue refraining from SI. Not for her. Not for God. But for you. Because you deserve to let go of that pain and dysfunctional coping mechanism. I’m so proud of you for making it so far this Lent - keep pushing through and just do your best. |
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SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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LonesomeTonight, piggy momma
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Tweaky Dog
LostOnTheTrail
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
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#11
So sorry, Kit. The tune is slightly different, but I am in a similar boat. Sickness and Easter break combined. Sending hugs, and hoping you can get an appointment soon.
__________________ 'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#12
I just talked to the receptionist at my therapist's office and she can't see me until May the 6th. That's going to be a long time for me to not have seen her. This sucks. I'm really struggling with my emotions to try to keep them from not drowning me. I feel like crying. Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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ElectricManatee, guilloche, LonesomeTonight, Taylor27
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#13
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Elder
velcro003
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 7,357
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#14
kit-her schedule SUCKS. There is no way she can see you sooner? Does she only see all her patients on a monthly basis? I couldn’t handle that. I hope you can stay safe and not SH.
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SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
susannahsays
is fed up.
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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#15
I think your therapist is borderline unethical for seeing you so inconsistently. I don't mean for cancelling due to this family emergency - obviously, things happen sometimes. I mean that it's horrible that she thinks it's ok to basically use you to fill the gaps in her schedule - because that's what's happening. She does not actually have room for you on her caseload, and should not have taken you on. Therapists should not see clients they cannot see on a consistent basis (when the client wants to be seen consistently).
__________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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SlumberKitty
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Magnate
Rive.
has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,002
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#16
Oh no, that's a long time to get to see T, SlumberKitty.
Your feelings are perfectly valid though, as I would feel the same. Regarding accountability - maybe you could use psychcentral as your accountability buddy instead of T? And yes, keep looking for and interviewing other Ts. Seeing T from once to three times a month is rough.. Hang in there. |
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SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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Grand Magnate
susannahsays
is fed up.
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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#17
Maybe you could interview some alternative therapists in the meantime.
I feel like sending this therapist a strongly worded missive. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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Amyjay, SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
SlumberKitty
is staying stable.
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
(SuperPoster!)
117.7k hugs
given |
#18
Quote:
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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guilloche, LonesomeTonight
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Magnate
Amyjay
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Underground
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#19
I'm so sorry, that is such a long time on top of such a long time.
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SlumberKitty
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SlumberKitty
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Magnate
guilloche
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
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#20
Oh wow... I agree so strongly with Susannahsays re: your T being unethical. She knows your struggling with self harm, and expects you to go months between appointments?
I'm kind of peeved at her on your behalf. You deserve better!!! And, I agree... emergencies happen... but just like she expects flexibility when she has an emergency and has to cancel with short notice, she should also *give* flexibility to reschedule you, especially given what you're dealing with, so that you don't end up having to wait another month b/c of her schedule. To me, it would be appropriate for her to work an extra hour, for example, to fit you in on a day sooner... given that your appointment disappeared through no fault of your own. Ugh, I'm so so sorry. Hang in there. (And if you're up for it, definitely consider looking around at the other therapists - it sounds like there aren't a lot of good options by you, but just in case you manage to find one hiding somewhere nearby!) *hugs* |
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SlumberKitty
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LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty, susannahsays
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