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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
11 1 hugs
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Apr 06, 2019 at 12:32 PM
#1
I just deleted my Ts contact info from my phone. I have been having a work crisis for a long time and got really bad news yesterday but now she has decided it is a good time to switch things up and use tough love. Right now I need support not to be told I am wrong and need to make a bunch of changes. She has totally stopped out of session contact. I mean she only responded to about 10% of my emails anyways but at least it was something. What I hated most was if I asked her a direct question but she never answers. So today I wrote one last email explaining things and letting her know I deleted her. Not sure how she will take it because calling her is part of my safety plan.
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 LonesomeTonight, Omers, SalingerEsme, SlumberKitty, Taylor27
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,355
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Apr 06, 2019 at 01:17 PM
#2
If calling her is part of your safety plan, it seems like she had a responsibility to at least have helped you modify your safety plan before stopping out of session contact.
I think what many people call tough love is rarely, if ever, helpful. I think way too many people confuse it with just being critical and uncompromising. In my opinion, actual tough love is more like offering genuine feedback that comes from a place of compassion, nonjudgement , and of truly wanting to help. That doesn't mean that it's always helpful, but many times it is. Sometimes it's also about not enabling unhealthy behaviors. Which scenario is your therapist practicing? __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold |
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piggy momma, SalingerEsme
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healing from trauma
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Alberta
Posts: 30,425
(SuperPoster!)
6 24.3k hugs
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Apr 06, 2019 at 03:05 PM
#3
Im so sorry to hear this, it's hard when t give out the so called tough love. A year and half ago my t did something simalar to me it was awful and it was so hard to talk to him about it, i finally wrote him a letter a couple months ago. We have not come to terms he is retiring in a month so i have had to put it to rest and hope my new t will be better.
My t gave me the tough love i could not see him or participate in day unless i went to the womens AA, i could only see him once a month and no phone contact unless i made a effort to go to AA. It was very hard for me and there where a few times i went to er. I still think he went way to far with me, we have talk a little about it however he still thinks very highly of AA. I know your situation is different i just wanted to share my experience with what i have gone through in the past year and a half. Hugs |
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