How should a T dress?

CantExplain · Apr 10, 2019 at 06:46 PM

I suspect that in practice, most Ts dress to please themselves.

But in principle, should a T dress to reassure the patient or to challenge him?

DP_2017 · Apr 10, 2019 at 06:52 PM

They should dress how they are comfortable, as should the client

susannahsays · Apr 10, 2019 at 06:53 PM

Hmm. Neither, I don't think. If by "reassure," you mean that they don't do anything distracting or shocking, then I guess I agree with that. I don't think it would be appropriate for a therapist to use their wardrobe to challenge their clients. I'm not even sure what you mean by that, but nothing I'm coming up with is good.

stopdog · Apr 10, 2019 at 07:01 PM

I really never noticed much about how the therapists I hired were dressed. I like to think I would have noticed if they were not dressed but that is really about it for me. I would not say I am comforted or challenged by how any one else dresses. I would suppose if they were after high rent clients -they would dress up and if they were earthy hippy types they might wear beads and gauzy type stuff. But I really don't care how they dress.

Apr 10, 2019 at 07:54 PM

They should dress how they are comfortable and enjoy.

GeekyOne · Apr 10, 2019 at 07:54 PM

In clean clothing that is professional. Whether that's (clean, undamaged) jeans and t-shirts or a suit is not important. What's important is that it fades away.

If the T is dressing for work in a manner to attract attention, there's a problem.

Personally, I would be uncomfortable with a T who dressed very formally (e.g. jacket and tie). I am an engineer; I dress very casually for work (where I come from before therapy) in generally jeans or chinos and a (plain) t-shirt or polo. I want a T who feels relaxed and comfortable, which precludes very formal clothing (in my mind). However, I wouldn't fault them for that - it's just a style that doesn't work for me.

Apr 10, 2019 at 08:00 PM

I don't care if T wears her PJs as long as she's there for my appointments.

koru_kiwi · Apr 10, 2019 at 08:09 PM

i've always wondered if this is it just me, but have you ever noticed how T's seem to wear scarfs a lot?

both my Ts ( one male and the other female) seemed to like to accessorise their outfits with a stylish scarf of some sort. not sure if that was too challenge my own beliefs about my sense (lack) of style or to reassure me that they would remain toasty warm in our session

CantExplain · Apr 10, 2019 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by koru_kiwi

i've always wondered if this is it just me, but have you ever noticed how T's seem to wear scarfs a lot?

both my Ts ( one male and the other female) seemed to like to accessorise their outfits with a stylish scarf of some sort. not sure if that was too challenge my own beliefs about my sense (lack) of style or to reassure me that they would remain toasty warm in our session

Um... No, I don't think I've ever seen a T in a scarf.

susannahsays · Apr 10, 2019 at 08:35 PM

Yeah, I've definitely noticed the therapist scarf trend.

Salmon77 · Apr 10, 2019 at 09:00 PM

Comfortable but professional, so maybe business casual or nice casual, I think. It probably doesn't matter much unless it's stinky or has political slogans or something.

Mine usually wears jeans and a button-down shirt or a sweater. He wears a scarf sometimes but his office gets cold so it's reasonable.

HD7970GHZ · Apr 10, 2019 at 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I suspect that in practice, most Ts dress to please themselves.

But in principle, should a T dress to reassure the patient or to challenge him?

Hello CantExplain,

Interesting thread!

I think a therapist should dress appropriately for the therapeutic setting; as in - nothing that will inadvertently trigger clients. I like this thread because I have taken very close attention to how therapists have dressed in my treatment. I particularly like when therapists wear pastel colors - it is easy on my eyes and elicits a sense of comfort and safety. I also like when therapists wear long cardigan style clothes that remind me of blankets - another source of comfort for many of us. It is Maternal and elicits and matches a yearning for a maternal bond that is so commonly found in effective therapy, like that of an ideal parent figure.

As far as if they should challenge us - I don't think their clothes need to do this. I think clothing is sexualized so much in society that it would be inappropriate for a therapist to wear something intentionally to challenge us. There are many other ways a therapist can challenge us.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

susannahsays · Apr 10, 2019 at 09:25 PM

@HD7970GHZ Funny that you mention sexualization, that was actually my first thought, too, when I tried to think of a "challenging" outfit choice. I wonder why that is.

Apr 10, 2019 at 11:51 PM

I don't usually support dressing for other people, but in the case of therapists, they might want to avoid anything too distracting or wearing heavy fragrances.

Regarding dressing to reassure or challenge someone-I've never heard of that but am curious where in the world that comes from.

ChickenNoodleSoup · Apr 11, 2019 at 01:10 AM

Clothing that either changes too much from day to day or is too 'busy' (bright colors, lots of colors, weird patterns) distracts me. It doesn't have to be the same boring thing every day like what my T chooses to wear, but it should look relaxed, yet professional and not be distracting.

Quarter life · Apr 11, 2019 at 04:09 AM

I don't care for clothing that makes noise...on myself or others.

piggy momma · Apr 11, 2019 at 04:25 AM

My T usually dresses up, and I actually would prefer if he didn't haha. I like casual - I'm always in leggings and a hoodie and he's always dressed up. Last T always wore jeans and a t-shirt. I prefer the casual look but that's just me.

Anne2.0 · Apr 11, 2019 at 09:36 AM

My T dresses casually but not sloppily or unprofessional. I don't actually know what he wears, except in the winter he wears a fleece vest over his shirt. I think he always wears long sleeves but I could be wrong. In my dreams he has appeared riding a motorcycle, with long blond hair and tatooed arms. I told him this once and he said he used to drive a motorcycle during his anti-Vietnam war times. He did not say whether his arms were tatooed.

I dress more casually and on purpose when I do certain kinds of legal work. Suit in court, of course, but when visiting incarcerated people, I think overdressing, especially with jewelry and fancy clothes (not that I really have much) is inappropriate. I dress professionally enough so the jail staff aren't put off, but casually enough so there is less distance between myself and the person wearing prison scrubs and plastic shoes.

nottrustin · Apr 11, 2019 at 10:08 AM

I think it should be a combination of things. I think business casual has such a wide spectrum of options so I think a T should be dressed business casual in a way that is comfortable to them. I also think it is okay to dress in a way that reflects the comfort of their clients. I worked with a psych np who was very casual and used profanity. She is not somebody I would see because I would be uncomfortable. She had a lot of clients who adored her because she was on their level. They never felt judged.

SlumberKitty · Apr 11, 2019 at 11:51 AM

I think business casual is my preference for the way T's dress. My former T pretty much hit the mark but would occasionally wear neon green or something and it was startling to me in therapy. I would be distracted by what she was wearing. Current T tends to wear leggings and dresses/long shirts. I'm not bothered by it. I'm fascinated when she wears black flowers in her hair. I wonder what the significance is....HUGS Kit

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CantExplain Big Poppa Member Since Oct 2011 Location: New Zealand Posts: 19,616 (SuperPoster!) 12 19.7k hugs given	Apr 10, 2019 at 06:46 PM #1 I suspect that in practice, most Ts dress to please themselves. But in principle, should a T dress to reassure the patient or to challenge him? __________________ Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
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DP_2017 Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2017 Location: A house Posts: 4,412 6 665 hugs given	Apr 10, 2019 at 06:52 PM #2 They should dress how they are comfortable, as should the client __________________ Grief is the price you pay for love.
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Anonymous47147 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 10, 2019 at 07:54 PM #5 They should dress how they are comfortable and enjoy.
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Anonymous52333 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 10, 2019 at 08:00 PM #7 I don't care if T wears her PJs as long as she's there for my appointments.
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susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Apr 10, 2019 at 08:35 PM #10 Yeah, I've definitely noticed the therapist scarf trend. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold
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Salmon77 Poohbah Member Since Mar 2014 Location: PNW Posts: 1,394 10 106 hugs given	Apr 10, 2019 at 09:00 PM #11 Comfortable but professional, so maybe business casual or nice casual, I think. It probably doesn't matter much unless it's stinky or has political slogans or something. Mine usually wears jeans and a button-down shirt or a sweater. He wears a scarf sometimes but his office gets cold so it's reasonable.
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susannahsays Grand Magnate Member Since Jun 2018 Location: Somewhere Posts: 3,355 5 1 hugs given	Apr 10, 2019 at 09:25 PM #13 @HD7970GHZ Funny that you mention sexualization, that was actually my first thought, too, when I tried to think of a "challenging" outfit choice. I wonder why that is. __________________ Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. -David Gerrold
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Anonymous56789 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 10, 2019 at 11:51 PM #14 I don't usually support dressing for other people, but in the case of therapists, they might want to avoid anything too distracting or wearing heavy fragrances. Regarding dressing to reassure or challenge someone-I've never heard of that but am curious where in the world that comes from.
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ChickenNoodleSoup Grand Poohbah Member Since Apr 2017 Location: In a land far far away Posts: 1,575 7 1,305 hugs given	Apr 11, 2019 at 01:10 AM #15 Clothing that either changes too much from day to day or is too 'busy' (bright colors, lots of colors, weird patterns) distracts me. It doesn't have to be the same boring thing every day like what my T chooses to wear, but it should look relaxed, yet professional and not be distracting.
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Quarter life Elder...and a bit Older Community Liaison Member Since Nov 2013 Location: My Own Orbit Posts: 6,912 10 371 hugs given	Apr 11, 2019 at 04:09 AM #16 I don't care for clothing that makes noise...on myself or others. __________________ The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am the storm."
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piggy momma Poohbah Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Canada Posts: 1,073 5 70 hugs given	Apr 11, 2019 at 04:25 AM #17 My T usually dresses up, and I actually would prefer if he didn't haha. I like casual - I'm always in leggings and a hoodie and he's always dressed up. Last T always wore jeans and a t-shirt. I prefer the casual look but that's just me.
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