Still Greiving

Hi everyone,
I recently got home from residential treatment for my alcoholism. As some of you may now, my drinking spiraled out of control when my T left after I crossed her boundary.

Since getting home, I have been incredibly depressed and miss my ex T like crazy. I don’t know whether these feelings are coming from leaving the cozy treatment bubble of residential, not drinking anymore to mask the pain, or just genuinely missing Ex T more than usual these days

When I feel this way, I am flooded with memories of her and our intense moments of connection. It’s difficult to put into words, but the moments made me feel so warm and loved. I worry I will never find this feeling again. It has been almost 8 months and thoughts of her still bring tears to my eyes. All I want is to call her up and ask her to take me back, but my rational brain is telling me that I was addicted to her and that wouldn’t be healthy. I sometimes whether if I was truly in love with her, which makes me scared I’ll never feel this way about anyone. I’m afraid I’ll always compare everyone to her and (selfishly) how she made me feel.

Is 7.5 months a long time? Should I be over her yet?

Nope, it took me probably a year or so to be in a good place and even then I don't think there is a time limit to grief.

It took me about 3 years. It takes as long as it takes. My T tells me to trust my mind and body; trust the process.

It took me ten years to start getting over what happened with my therapist.
It takes as long as it takes. Im sorry its so hard.

Like the others have said it will take as much time as you need. Are you seeing another T at the moment?

Agreed that it takes as much time as it takes--I was really feeling the loss of ex-MC on the 1-year anniversary of our termination a few weeks ago. And that's awesome that you did the treatment program and are managing without alcohol--if you're used to using that to deal with the feelings, then it makes sense you're feeling it more now. I think you're seeing a T now, right? If so, I'd talk to her about additional coping mechanisms. Mine has been talking quite a bit about deep breathing and meditation. I'm finding (gentle) yoga and going for walks outside are helping as well. And talk about it on here as much as you need.